Unable to cry

Is0prene · 2024-09-29T03:34:24+00:00

This is how it was for me until a few months after we finalized. With the divorce happening all of your time and energy is spent on the legal aspect and you don't have time to be sad, only angry. Once the dust settled and things slowed down I was able to process things and I broke down several times. In the car, at home, at work. I never knew when it would happen, but when it did it would hit me like a 1000 bricks. As time went by each episode got less severe and now I no longer get them.

But yeah I never processed the emotions of it all until after everything was settled.

Exciting-Pomelo1227 · 2024-09-29T02:17:36+00:00

Drink 5 Jack and cokes and go for a walk late at night and put on Dust by Mark Tremonti. The tears will flow.

Not that I have any experience.

YouGottaBeHongry · 2024-09-28T23:05:06+00:00

I've had plenty moments where I've wished I could just sit down one good time and everything cracks open and spills out for good. My therapist says that's what is depicted in movies and books, but it ain't real life. Sometimes it's the squeeze in your chest staring at the clock on a sunny Wednesday afternoon, and sometimes it's tears welling up watching other people doing things you figured you'd be doing instead what it is now. One step at a time.

Consider journaling or taking walks outside, or the gym, or fishing, or things that get you on a different tempo. Talking with trusted friends who get it or a therapist can make a major difference too.

The other thing I would say is not to run from it when it comes. I know in my experience it comes in waves, and when the waves hit, they've hit hard. Be gentle and patient with yourself.

Last thought. I wonder if you have other emotions unrelated to this that you've also pushed down, that may also surface as you work through this new load of feelings. Resistance to dealing with past old stuff I might think could complicate working through this. Emotional Logjams are a doozie.

Training_Speaker_142 · 2024-09-28T22:55:59+00:00

Maybe you don’t feel like crying because actually you’re OK about the divorce, but you’re just feeling exhausted. There’s no particular reason you need to cry about it, just try to adjust to your new life.

Movieman_Steve · 2024-09-28T17:14:41+00:00

I can tell you that when you finally cry, you'll want to be in a gathering of some sort (where no one knows what's happening in your life) to do it without it looking weird. I did finally, it happened last Friday night at a Prince Again concert (That's the name of the tribute group, you can Google it) and luckily it happened during purple rain where I was literally front row. Thank God it didn't happen during the song "Lets Go Crazy". I just broke because of the stress with the divorce (she left May this year with me having no idea of it happening or conversations about it, was served papers 2 mos later), and the realization of almost 21 years of marriage gone cause she wanted to "find what brings her joy".

Scrotem_Pole69 · 2024-09-28T16:59:27+00:00

Are you taking anti depressants? I haven’t been able to get out as much as a single tear in the decade I’ve been taking them. Through a divorce, death of multiple family members, job loss, etc. Just a resonating numbness.

Hope you are able to find the release you need, and find a product path forward.

Bretweir_jerky · 2024-09-28T16:59:04+00:00

Yeah, I get this. Been there too, so I empathize with your frustration. What happened to me though was when real sad stuff happened later on in life I could/would. Made me look back and think that I wasn’t ever sad about her. Angry? Yes and still. But never sad. My life improved dramatically once that rot was cut away

Title	Unable to cry
Author	These_Row6066
Upvotes	8
Comments	14
Date	September 28, 2024 4:42 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1frif8v/unable_to_cry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/unable-to-cry.1531553 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531553

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