What its like being divorced?

a_day_at_a_timee · 2025-10-31T01:11:53+00:00

Being divorced is fucking amazing!

Getting divorced sucked ass. Missing my kids, all the false accusations, and legal filings. Living in a box until I forced her to sell the house etc.

But now I have a beautiful new house, a couple new cars, a new rv, and two new full sized tool chests full of tools to replace the old one she sold at a yard sale.

I get 50% of the week with no kids and am playing golf twice a week. I started a side business in my no kid time during the divorce which turned into a new full time job making double.

Despite paying $70,000 in attorneys fees and giving $400k to my ex, I have replaced all that I lost and have saved more in 6 years than I did in the first 18 with her.

Went on 50 first dates. Had lots of sex with lots of women. Went to burning man three times with my new hippie goddess type girlfriend. She is sober, owns her own house completely doesn’t have kids, has a masters degree and is a serious adult.

Life is good!

OldGuyNewTrix · 2025-10-30T15:15:11+00:00

As someone who’s finalizing things now with my divorce. It sucks. I didn’t feel the unhappiness she described when she randomly one night decided to tell me it was over. She’s 100% final.

So the last year+ has been hard. I miss my kids, seeing them only half the time. It breaks my heart, because they deserve 2 loving parents under 1 roof. If it’s a high conflict situation, then it might be for the good. However grieve the ‘loss’ of losing your forever, between your wife, your family, your house. It’s a big loss and adjustment. If you can make it work, seek couples therapy. If someone has committed abuse or adultery, then it’s hard to come back from.

So if it’s high conflict, do what’s best for the kids as they don’t deserve to see Mom and Dad fighting. If it’s low conflict, and just an unhappy spell. Seek counseling and try harder to make it work, as the kids would benefit the most

Candidate_Worldly · 2025-10-30T13:40:27+00:00

I'm separated not divorced, but it amounts to much the same. It is the bleakest, loneliest, most conflicted time of my life. 10 different emotions in one day about my ex.

Only seeing your kids half the time and saying goodbye to them every week is a horrible experience. Seeing the change in my daughter breaks my heart

Losing my beautiful home and staying in a shabby rental costing me a fortune isn't much fun.

The idea of starting again and finding someone else, when my trust and view of women in general is now very negative, is not something I even consider right now.

Apart from that it's great /s

Be very careful about breaking up your family, if there is no abuse, infidelity or addiction. The sheer number of different things you have to cope with is overwhelming.

Bobby_Digitul · 2025-10-30T11:55:24+00:00

I lived with my wife and kids for another whole year while she told me "it's Friday, I'm leaving and I'm not sure where I'm going. I will be back Sunday." Sleeping on the couch, nothing I did was ever good enough, seeing it coming and unable to do anything to stop it.

Then, coming home from work to hug my kids as she puts them in her car to drive 2 hours away to her new condo. Watching them pull out of the driveway through the windows of an empty dark house, sitting there dealing with the memories alone.

Then, hearing her on the phone talk about how overwhelmed she is, when everyone knew that being a single mom to two oversized boys was going to be overwhelming. She deals with it by immersing them in activities and tutoring. They are being neglected emotionally.

She doesn't even see or acknowledge her part in any disagreements past or future.

It's like having one of your arms torn out the socket by a team of communist cannibals but after dealing with it you become a combination of Superman, Green Lantern, David Goggins and Doctor Strange all in one.

You waste mid six figures in home equity and asset growth due to paying her out and both of you spending money that should have been used to build intergenerational wealth. But after that you become unstoppable.

Eventually you realize how to make sure your kids thrive.

And you become the hottest man alive, in the eye of women you come across, because you have grown and changed.

If you can keep your marriage together, do it. I really appreciate the growth journey, but I would have preferred to make that growth within the marriage.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-10-30T09:15:39+00:00

Like drowning, losing your mind, being stranded on a lone island, having extreme road rage - the one where you ram the other guy's vehicle and prepare for a fistfight, then like a funeral of a close person, then like waking up from a coma after 20 years and relearning to walk again. Very fun. You won't be bored.

juheardmeh · 2025-10-30T01:42:37+00:00

It's like this Family Guy cut-scene, minus the "no kids" part.

https://www.google.com/search?q=family+guy+this+is+better+divorced+guy+cut+scene&oq=family+guy+this+is+better+divorced+guy+cut+scene&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQIRigATIHCAIQIRigATIHCAMQIRigATIHCAQQIRigATIHCAUQIRifBTIHCAYQIRifBTIHCAcQIRifBTIHCAgQIRifBTIHCAkQIRifBTIHCAoQIRifBTIHCAsQIRifBTIHCAwQIRifBTIHCA0QIRifBTIHCA4QIRifBdIBCTE1Mzc1ajBqNKgCAbACAQ&client=ms-android-att-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:288546a4,vid:Cd01xK5fBbM,st:0

Consistent-Cry-9452 · 2025-10-30T07:45:15+00:00

First 2 year it sucks, my little flat was completely stripped, i have been slowely buying all furniture in the past 2 years. Oldest son lives with me, younger 2 with their mum. I see them every second weekend of the month, i miss them very much, they very young so i cannot talk to them on the phone etc during the week.

Things are getting better, in a new relationship, doing my old hobbies again and got a new gf since a half a year who is lovely. I travel another country every 2/3 months.

I finally get it, the peace is real peace not loniness, its a opertunity to do the fuck i want BUT you have to go take it, not sit at home playing video games and feel misserable, you need people, community, (Faith if you are into it, i am ;) )

Put that calendar full to the brim with events, meetings with people, every week a bussy full and vibrant social life, do fun stuff with the kids when they with you, make them feel happy and welcome in your house.

Bagman220 · 2025-10-30T02:41:09+00:00

It really depends on what your agreement looks like. Are you gonna have the kids 50-50? Are you gonna have them every other weekend? Are you going to have them every day?

Are you staying in the house? Are you moving out? Are you selling the house and splitting the equity?

Was she a stay at home mom? You might have to pay alimony. Are your wages similar? Then depending on the child arrangement you may or may not have child support.

Can you afford to get crushed by child support and alimony? If you can and you get your kids 50% of the time, then you might be alright. If you can’t afford the child support and alimony or you only get your kids every so often you’ll probably be pretty miserable.

Also, if you’re close to retirement, you could potentially lose half of it and that can set you back a long time.

Me personally I’m absolutely miserable. My ex let me keep everything in the divorce, including the kids. But I am drowning right now, trying to keep my head above water, raising 4 kids by myself. Not worth it.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2025-10-30T01:41:07+00:00

Breaking up a family is not an easy choice so I'm sure you will think this through thoroughly.
If you ask me, for those of us that had no choice in divorce and it was forced on us by some means, it probably is always harder than for the person initiating it as they have a head start in planning their life without you.
That is why some are caught off guard when their partner all of a sudden files. They had a head start on processing and planning.
Have you tried couples counseling to try to work through your issues?

Slowloris81 · 2025-10-30T01:07:26+00:00

It really depends on your marriage. Mine was toxic so I had no choice but to file. The alternative was intolerable.

It was an adjustment but I’m much happier now. We split the kids 50/50 so I have quality time with them and quality time to myself. Pretty sweet overall.

PlutoPlanet900 · 2025-10-30T01:05:56+00:00

It feels awful. It hurts even more knowing the reason for the divorce is that the wife cheated.

This is what I’m experiencing currently. I’m doing my best to move on and forget her.

Title	What its like being divorced?
Author	BulldoggRN
Upvotes	4
Comments	23
Date	October 30, 2025 12:40 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ojlrot/what_its_like_being_divorced/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-its-like-being-divorced.1565322 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565322

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