Your Every Once in a While Reminder

NohoTwoPointOh · 2021-05-30T13:24:07+00:00

So many guys get gaslighted (gaslit?) into taking the so-called "high-road". They project male behaivor onto the situation and think "If I play fair, she'll see that I'm playing fair and play fair too!"

NOTHING could be any farther from the truth. The only road you're taking is to reduce your access to your children and torpedo your ability to father them and provide for them.

"B-b-b-b-but I still love her...." - That ain't "her" anymore. That person is gone. At best, temporarily. Most likely, forever.

"B-b-b-b-but I feel guilty about breaking up the family." - It's gonna be even more broken to YOUR detriment if you continue to play that game. Defend yourself as is your life depended on it. Because it DOES.

Cobra Kai rules... Strike first, strike hard, no mercy. If you head ain't right to sweep the leg Mr. Lawrence, therapy is the first place you need to go. Preferably with an older man who has seen some shit.

OP has given advice that applies to so many men that we see here. Take it to heed and obey it. For your sake and the sake of your children.

sr20rocket · 2021-05-30T14:14:54+00:00

I seem to be an exception to all the stories I read on here. Don't misunderstand she screwed me up hard core.

But I had no lawyer.

And I got: The house. 50/50. Primary legal custody. Child support. All of my retirement. None of her debt.

She has threatened numerous times to take me back to court. She still tries to mess with me mentally, but I'm getting stronger all the time. Boundaries and minimal communication are my keys at this point.

cant-take-much-more · 2021-05-30T15:21:24+00:00

Once again in case anyone has missed it - “there is no such thing as a strong independent woman in divorce court”

NoEntertainment3490 · 2021-05-30T12:56:40+00:00

This is the gospel I needed to hear this morning brother

abdul_rahmaan · 2021-05-30T16:45:12+00:00

Post like this makes me thing glad I spent on the lawyer.

LongTimeOn · 2021-05-30T12:49:49+00:00

Very true. For those undergoing, or about to start, a divorce the key thing to remember is:

"The woman you marry is not the woman you divorce.."

She can promise you that she doesn't want to rip you a new one ,but as soon as lawyers get involved...all bets are off. Once divorce is discussed....you have to be prepared to fight tooth and nail because otherwise you will be taken to the cleaners by a system that views you as nothing more than an ATM.

ElliotMarriott · 2021-05-30T14:55:04+00:00

Fuck yes . Do what he says our else you will lose everything

temporaryalpha · 2021-05-30T15:00:57+00:00

First thing I did when I prepped for divorce was ask judge friends who the best matrimonial lawyer in my city was. Then I borrowed against my pension and paid her. She was worth every penny.

SaltyB-enjamin · 2021-05-30T19:07:44+00:00

You sound insane. You sound like you're trying to convince yourself of something that you know isn't true.

What would you think and say if someone told your wife the same thing?

No matter what. No matter that he tells you you did nothing wrong. No matter that he tells you he wants it to be amicable. No matter that he tells you he still loves you. No matter that he tells you he's sorry. No matter that he tells you he doesn't care about the money. He doesn't love the other woman. He wants joint custody of the kids. He is very, very sorry. He blah, blah, blah. No matter what. GET A LAWYER. From the get go. Don't fuck around. Pay them. Follow their instructions. He is no longer your husband, he is your enemy.

StarCraftDad · 2021-05-30T17:33:48+00:00

I have a licensed paralegal practitioner (cheaper when intending to settle at mediation) who has a lawyer on stand-by should shi* hit the proverbial fan. I should be good, right?

rb5775 · 2021-05-31T09:02:02+00:00

AMEN!

Title	Your Every Once in a While Reminder
Author	GodammitSmalls
Upvotes	55
Comments	20
Date	May 30, 2021 9:34 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/no7ncm/your_every_once_in_a_while_reminder/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/your-every-once-in-a-while-reminder.816903 https://theredarchive.com/post/816903

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