Afraid to accept Im straight

fathergoose77 · 2022-12-02T19:09:45+00:00

I think it would help to see women as individual people with their own different personalities, upbringing, cultures, experiences, and goals. It’s easy to hate something you know is unlikeable. TRP puts women in a box full only of bad, malicious traits. If you think all women are the same and all want the same thing (which is not you), it makes sense why you’re so bitter at them and why it’s so easy to hate them. I would hate all women too if I thought they only want men for this looks and money, but fortunately I know that is not true.

I know there are some immature, shallow women out there so I do not associate with them. I dislike those kinds of women’s personalities and values. There are plenty of women who have values more aligned with mine (like my current partner and past partners).

Something else I think is important is to understand is that you are experiencing a lot of strong emotions, and that’s ok, but lookout for where you are directing those feelings and where exactly they’re coming from. Rejection doesn’t feel good. It hurts and it makes us wonder “what’s wrong with me?” Feelings of insecurity and inadequacy come up. And it’s ok to feel that, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t worth love, it just means it wasn’t the right fit with one specific person at that specific time in their lives. What is not okay is to take those emotions and hate/blame half the population for them.

Men and women get rejected all the time for many different reasons, and many of those people are able to take the rejection and move on (maybe learn from) that experience. They are capable of being rejected without hating ALL of other gender, sure they might be hurt by the one specific person who said no, but that has nothing to do with other women in the world. So your emotions surrounding rejection are being misplaced into women when instead you should be lookin inwards to understand those emotions about yourself and why you are feeling them so strongly (from my experience, it’s a lot more than just not getting laid or a gf….it’s a lot deeper than that).

So while rejection hurts, it’s something everyone experiences in every aspect of there lives at some point (job applications, school applications, relationships, friendships, sports teams, business and financial requests). Being told “no” is a part of life and it is up to you not to take it personally and find someone who will say yes. If everyone stopped trying after being told no, then literally no one would have anything worthwhile.

ModestMinerva · 2022-12-02T18:45:30+00:00

One of my partners that got deep into Red Pill and nearly killed our relationship after he started villainizing and bullying me found an immense amount of benefit from anger management and DBT with a professional who specializes in men's issues. He took about 3 years to get everything out but he's an amazing, kind, helpful, and overall good man now.

I highly recommend that from someone who went through the other side of what you're going through. The anger is normal emotion but it's stifled by society's expectations that we be these controlled drones all the time, but it needs to come out in a healthy way. For some immediate relief, I also highly recommend Rage Rooms if you have them in your area.

Trepptopus · 2022-12-02T19:10:53+00:00

Do you have any good and healthy connections with women? Maybe, start looking at more pro women content, find women creators you like and enjoy and engage with their stuff?
The reason I ask about female content creators is because if you don't have any positive relationships with women then you can in the meantime forge some positive parasocial relationships and work on branching out into having positive reciprocal relationships with women. Right now, you need women friends, women rolemodels, don't even worry about dating. Dating comes when your mind has a healthier concept of women as people, not objects or monsters.

Also, therapy. Therapy is really good shit.

Sad_Apple_1911 · 2022-12-02T17:33:31+00:00

Being rejected four times is nothing

ICQME · 2022-12-02T20:23:10+00:00

I'm sorry you're straight. That's rough. At least you gave the gay pill a try to be sure.

xvszero · 2022-12-02T21:45:19+00:00

Make friends with women without trying to sleep with them. Just be a decent guy around them. You'll learn a lot and you'll have new friends.

As for rejection, it's tough to even speak to it without knowing the circumstances. But most of us get rejected a fair amount. All that red pill shit that tries to sell you this idea that there are ALPHAS out there getting ANY WOMAN THEY WANT is just nonsense.

The trick is to not take rejection personally. It's tought, but that's the trick.

mikayrodr · 2022-12-02T22:02:53+00:00

You are showing signs of OCD. I have it and it can be manageable and okay. I would tell your therapist about your obsessions and how they are disrupting your life and get referred to a psychiatrist for more help.

Some other suggestions:

- Try DBT and CBT therapy

- You may also want to try EMDR therapy

- If you do drugs recreationally or drink heavily I would stop. This can make things in the obsession space worse

- You need to talk with your therapist about how you were forcing yourself to have sex with men and how it made you feel. There is trauma there.

- Talk to your therapist about how rejection has become an obsession with you

- Anger management. I know you might not think you are angry, but i think you are probably smashing it down and compartmentalizing which is causing you more pain and sadness.

- It is okay to cry. Actually let yourself cry a lot. Let the pain out.

- You need to come up with positive thoughts about yourself that don't fall into "alpha/beta." repeat them to yourself. Phrase them as "I know I am ___ because ____." An example I use: "I know I am a good friend because people rely on me and ask me for advice."

- Try to keep yourself from spiraling in the meantime. Use the 5 things method when you are feeling anxious. Also try to touch things to remind yourself you are real and are ok. I usually grab onto the edge of a table or the counter so I can physically understand that I am a real person experiencing real things.

Do you have a good relationship with the women in your life like Mom/grandma/sisters? Do you feel the same way about them as you do other women?

incredulitor · 2022-12-02T19:30:21+00:00

https://www.ocdtypes.com/sexual-ocd.php

Nightchanger · 2022-12-02T21:02:22+00:00

Did the women you encounter were kind people? It's not unreasonable if that was the case.

Women do turn men hate after mingling with the wrong men or when they live in very bad neighborhoods. The similar can happen to men who got abused as little boys. Incels are also an example, albeit, they shouldn't be sympathized with as much as be understood.

You did get it with men, with all the regret you have. At least you can be glad you're attractive :).

About how to break this behavior. The better question is, should you break it? if not. That means you need to make a plan to move to a more welcoming environment. When you're in a welcoming environment, get anger management, or a psychatrist.

Naus1987 · 2022-12-03T15:46:51+00:00

Being rejected 4 times in 7 months is a really small number to be losing sleep over.

You should be asking a new person out every two weeks just to get some practice in.

You also have to remember that it’s like playing the lottery. Expect to lose, lots. But you only have to win once to be set for life.

Keep trying. Keep losing. Keep getting up. Keep going another round. Eventually you’ll get there! You got this!

Title	Afraid to accept Im straight
Author	This-Wasabi-3152
Upvotes	25
Comments	16
Date	December 2, 2022 5:15 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/zaro71/afraid_to_accept_im_straight/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/afraid-to-accept-im-straight.1143195 https://theredarchive.com/post/1143195

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