Hello there, i don't know if that's right place to ask but, as former redpill/toxic masculine guy, i would like some advice/guidance always taught that never date single mom, now i found myself in this relationship, and I'm still wondering that this makes me any less of a man??

ROlderbrother · 2023-03-15T12:11:07+00:00

What would make you less of a man is letting others opinions control who you date.

thegameoflovexu · 2023-03-15T12:22:13+00:00

Hey, I‘m also an ex so I exactly understand the way they frame this.

So let’s reframe it: First things first, you’re NOT a beta/cuck/loser/whatever for CHOOSING to be in a relationship with a lovely woman that has a child. If you decide this is fine with you, there is NOTHING wrong with this. Everyone has a past. Some people mind, some people don’t.

I actually believe there’s strength in this. Society and redpill specifically frame guys and gals like you in such a negative way, yet you don’t care. You stick to yourself. You like her, you be with her. It makes you more of a man to do what YOU want not with everyone else tells you.

dharkanine · 2023-03-15T12:49:09+00:00

What difference does it make?

Is a woman any less of a woman for partnering with a man who has kids, or is it somehow her responsibility to care for the man's children despite not having birthed them?

And what of adopted children? Are you less of a man for raising a child with no parent at all?

Relationship choice comes down to knowing who you are and who you're willing to share your life with. If you choose her, then you choose her children, too. If you can't do that, then you need to leave the relationship because it's unfair to the child for you to stay. Children need guidance and stability, not a man-child that's worried about how masculine he looks to his friends.

Mind, I say this as a man who refused to date single mothers for a long time (until I experienced my own revelations). Your mileage may vary.

willman249 · 2023-03-15T13:07:14+00:00

If you love her and she loves you who cares. Still more of a man than the “real father” who abandoned their own offspring.

lilycamilly · 2023-03-15T13:31:49+00:00

Not even a little bit. I'd argue it could make you MORE of a man, taking on the additional challenge and responsibility of being a positive role model in this child's life. It is a privilege to get to play a part in raising a good person. You're stepping up to a plate that not a ton of men have the balls to do.

notaslaaneshicultist · 2023-03-15T13:07:19+00:00

Why would it make you less?

Naus1987 · 2023-03-15T20:29:05+00:00

I think you need to figure out what it means to be a man.

Masculinity is usually defined by bravery. I wouldn’t consider running away from a kid to be brave. Would you?

If you don’t know the logic behind the things you do, then you’re not really man, hardly a person. You’re just a sheep.

You need to discover why you believe what you believe. And then you have to be wise enough to understand it.

Ifhes · 2023-03-15T15:05:58+00:00

Why would it matter. Are you happy in your relationship and you feel you care about her and protect her. That makes you a man, not the fact you're her one and only sexual partner ever.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2023-03-15T16:36:15+00:00

I'd say it makes you "less of a man" if this single mother is being toxic in the relationship and you allowed it to happen or you are ignoring red flags (being a single mother isn't a red flag). Otherwise if she is a great gal then whats the problem?

thrownawaytodaysr · 2023-03-15T17:50:23+00:00

Others have done a good job, but I'm going to jump in for another opinion.

Hello there, i don't know if that's right place to ask but, as former redpill/toxic masculine guy, i would like some advice/guidance always taught that never date single mom, now i found myself in this relationship, and I'm still wondering that this makes me any less of a man??

Depends on how you define a man. I don't think there's any useful definition that would specifically exclude being with a woman who has kids of her own from another relationship. If you have met someone who you want to be with, get along with, and are happy with, it would seem cowardly and less masculine to run away from her in the face of her having kids.

I would go further: if you run from what you want because someone else wouldn't, that makes you less of a man because you're focusing on what others would want rather than what you want.

Anyway, I figure you are just looking for people to confirm what you already know, so adding this as another vote of "go for it."

DerZerficker20x5cm · 2023-03-16T02:12:23+00:00

Eh the only thing that really bothers me would be if she gets a child with someone else while being with me. If she has the child before it’s fair game as long as she doesn’t lie to you about it.

natooral-skeptic · 2023-03-16T03:14:51+00:00

It doesn't if that's what you truly want. It is as simple as that.

Just like it doesn't make you "more" of a man. You do you, and if it feels right for your and you're happy that way: Awesome.

Fivefootfiveangel · 2023-03-16T11:24:12+00:00

Why would that make you less of a man

eroofio · 2023-03-20T09:54:10+00:00

“Being a man” is not something that’s elusive that needs to be attained. You are a man, you fully exist. There is no fluctuation in your state as a man, there is no “man-ness” leaving your body like water evaporating from a puddle. Don’t let toxic masculinity sit in the drivers seat of your life. The men that have these bullshit rules have small dick energy (and probs small dicks irl). Don’t live your life according to anyone else’s standards. That would make you a bitch.

tussyczr · 2023-03-25T03:36:27+00:00

My mother and grandmother always told me it takes a village to raise a child.

I didn’t meet my real father until I was 14, he’s been in and out of my life ever since (I don’t know your situation) but I say that, because I did grow up with a step dad who was apart of my life for 13 years (middle school through high school) who feels more like a real dad than my biological one. He helped me with guy problems, he played video games with me, sports, etc he was there for me when my dad wasn’t.

So don’t listen to these redpill dudes about dating a girl with a child. Because you could have an impact on that boy or girl that could benefit them in a good way for the rest of their life.

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