"Work on yourself" is a common phrase people will throw out in response to somebody saying that for whatever reason, they can't enter a relationship. To me, this has the implication that people who are in relationships, are mature and mentally stable. There's a lot of evidence to the contrary.

Bad relationships are common. The kind where people argue about petty things, where communication is done mostly through arguing, and or where one person has all the power, while the other always tries to please them. My flatmate is in an on and off relationship just like that. The whole year I've lived with him, that's been going on in the background.

And yet, nobody would tell those people, "work on yourself", because they've passed the test of normalcy. Look at teenagers. They can be in a relationship, without having even an ounce of maturity in them. People will make themselves so miserable, just because they don't want to be alone.

I wouldn't be surprised if most relationships are bad. People online will wax philosophically about how complex and difficult relationships are, and how they "make you grow as a person"(because they're a challenge). But I think a relationship between mature, compatible people, should be simple and easy-going; the only reason that's not the case most of the time, is because people settle for those who are not actually mature, or compatible with them.

So the barrier to entry is not maturity, but charisma and peacocking. Which makes sense considering people are glorified apes.