What is therapy supposed to accomplish?

Professor_Meep · 2023-04-14T07:34:37+00:00

You're not likely to find quality therapy on campus. Between the fact that they're probably not employing licensed psychologists + the workload from being responsible for an entire campus, most of the time the offered counseling isn't going to be that thorough or helpful. Even selecting from the pool of local psychologists can be challenging because they're not of uniform quality plus their ability to relate to you varies depending on who you are and who they are.

Therapy is still incredibly beneficial though once you find a good fit. You just have to be prepared to put some effort in to find it. It takes more than one try a lot of the time, that's just the nature of a lot of things including therapy. Don't write it off just because you have one or even a few lousy experiences. I myself seriously regret not understanding this when I sought therapy for the first time, if I'd stuck with it instead of blowing it off because of a disappointing encounter I probably would have saved myself from a lot of bad shit I didn't have to go through. Eventually I found an excellent therapist, it would have been a lot earlier if I just kept trying.

You should be covered on your parent's insurance so you're not just limited to on-campus counseling.

Academic_Type624 · 2023-04-14T08:36:07+00:00

There are different types of therapy. If you went for person centered the idea is that the client talks and the therapist uses prompts to promote self discovery leading to change.

Cbt is a more practical based therapy aimed at giving clients tools to help them change. It is more of a quick fix method.

Psychodynamic is delving deep into childhood and how it affects us now. It's a lengthy process.

All methods have pro's and cons. Essentially the point of it is by having an indepth non judgemental related you are safe to explore your thoughts and feelings and work through the things that aren't helping.

Its possible that the person you had was the right modality or maybe not the right therapist for you.

ROBYoutube · 2023-04-14T06:56:56+00:00

What were you expecting? He'd solve your problems? Hahaha I guess that could be expected. Good counsellors will guide your thoughts, maybe make suggestions. The objective is you talk about your problems and because you're able to hear your situation you should naturally start to solve your own problems. It's a process and usually takes a while. Do not expect miracles. It's a process.

AntiVictimhood · 2023-04-14T14:58:45+00:00

The reality of therapy is that there are many approaches to counselling, and it's beneficial to do some research on the different approaches and seek out a therapist who practices a style of counselling that you think would be beneficial.

Additionally, there are many terrible and incompetent therapists, and there are many therapists who experience burnout and become numb/ indifferent. Particularly those employed by a large organization who have a big case load and limited energy. My best friend is a therapist and I don't think people grasp how mentally draining it can be and how challenging it is to always have the energy and attention to be "on" and fully attentive and emotionally available to your clients. Even though that's their job, to do that effectively and really be fully present and engaged requires mental resources that therapists with huge case loads don't always have.

I had to try about about 6 therapists before I found one who I actually connected with and who I found to be beneficial for me.

I am like you, and I think talk therapy with that mindless validation is silly and doesn't do anything for me. I wanted a therapist who was more active during sessions and gave me feedback and tools and offered a different perspective.

This notion that all therapy is passive is incorrect. Good therapists will challenge you, push back on your ideas, offer you tools, and try and help you develop a framework of yourself and reality that is both true and beneficial to your wellbeing. There are different ways to accomplish this, and also keep in mind that they likely won't do this during the first session as they're just getting to know you. Additionally, I also encourage you to be vocal about what you're looking to get out of therapy and what you respond well to. I told my therapist I don't want her to treat me like a child and I want her to be direct and straightforward and candid in her perspective. Ask for what you want and see if they can adjust their therapy style to accommodate your communication style/preferences.

This guy you saw just sounds incompetent or overburdened or perhaps not a match for the style of therapy you're looking for. Doesn't mean all therapy is bad, but it does have limitations and it can take a while to find a good therapist. I sort of see finding a therapist like finding a friend or someone to date. You'll need to be choosy and you're not going to click with everyone. Lastly, therapy is not life coaching, so if you're looking for solutions and candid advice, therapists will not push you in one direction or another or give you concrete advice on what you should do.

fathergoose77 · 2023-04-14T16:22:48+00:00

What therapy accomplishes is based on the issues and goals you bring into therapy. It’s specific to each individual. Have you identified what you want to work on in therapy? And don’t say “get laid” because that’s the service sex workers offer for pay, not therapists.

Second, as many said, different therapists specific in different areas with various levels of education and experience. If you are looking for guidance on some deeper mental health issue like crippling social anxiety or major depression, you may want to see a Clinical Psychologists as they have been trained on mental health disorders. A social worker, while more accessible and affordable, just has not taken the years of classes and trainings to know how to guide someone going through these things, but they can still offer some support and validation (which seems like what yours was doing). Plus, a therapist can’t help you in a couple of sessions, just getting to know you as a person and your life patterns takes a while to get to know before they can help with certain interventions. Cognitive Behavior Therapy is a lot more solutions focused than other types therapies, so maybe you’d want to look into that, and they tend include less time in therapy than others. However if you’re problem goes really deep and there’s sone stuff from your past/childhood you still need to process, then you can expect to be in therapy for a long time, like more than one year.

I am in no way giving you a diagnosis, but your last post sounded a lot like someone with Schizoid Personality Disorder, or potentially someone who is just super depressed/anxious and lacking purpose. That stuff is a lot more important to figure out if you keep facing the same challenges again and again.

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-04-14T12:52:07+00:00

You may not have a therapist who works with you. And you have to practice radical honesty. Because our brains dance around what hurts us and when we get to the crux of the issue it's hard to talk about. Sometimes it's a lot to take on and it's easier to say I am fine to avoid those painful conversations. But that's what therapy is for unpacking that stuff and learning how to process and work through it.

So therapist shop look for one that specializes in something you struggle with "self esteem" "trauma" "anxiety/depression". A school counselor unfortunately won't have as many resources.

loCAtek · 2023-04-14T13:53:18+00:00

Most people who are low-income, (me) or students, are going to get CBT therapists, and maybe not very good ones.

They're kinda like lawyers; you get what you pay for.

Xx_SwordWords_xX · 2023-04-14T16:08:40+00:00

No, entitlement comes from a world that tells men that they can simply have what they want, and becoming a whole dynamic person wasn't part of the deal. The entitlement meets feminism in the modern world, and when realising they have to consider women as more than the sex objects they see in porn, the need to find a "cheat sheet" turns them to these toxic spaces.

Most of these boys are videogame and porn addicts, with very little friends, and that's on them. A life coach can help someone take actionable steps to improve their own life, which in turn would lead to more self confidence which in turn makes them more attractive.

You're right though, therapy is probably needed to address the internalised misogyny.

Allusionator · 2023-04-14T16:43:31+00:00

What are your actual goals for therapy? Your previous post reads like you more or less agree with everything you feel and don’t want to challenge it.

SrNetworkEngineer · 2023-04-14T18:14:18+00:00

A great therapist will listen and offer solutions and also hold you accountable but as someone that’s been in therapy, your biggest obstacle is you. The problem is it’s much easier to look outward and either point to how well people look like they’re doing or to blame others, and you might be right. Someone might have wronged you in such a way that they deserve your scorn.

However, that won’t fix the problem. You have to want to fix things and take action early and often to fix them. I’m sure you want to fix things. That’s almost certainly a given, but what actions do you take daily that are healthy for you and are getting you closer to your goal.

Also, is your goal clearly defined and attainable? Simply saying “I don’t want to be red pill any more” or whatever it is you’re struggling with, isn’t a clearly defined goal. Something like “I’m going to give people the benefit of the doubt and see them as human beings with flaws just like me, and so I’m going to choose to be kind to them but I’m also going to establish healthy boundaries for what I’ll allow and tolerate” is a much more clearly defined goal.

Also, something else that’s important is you need to manage your expectations of people. People not living up to your expectations is your problem, not theirs.

ShahZaZa · 2023-05-05T17:47:05+00:00

Most therapists are overpriced and useless. You'll get a more meaningful session on chatgtp. Religion and meditation are way better for your mental health.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2023-04-14T11:57:54+00:00

I hope you find the right therapist eventually. Meanwhile the other possibility is to use ChatGPT as a therapy tool. It might provide better insight. On the downside there is no confidentiality protection since ChatGPT is owned by a corporation.

Xx_SwordWords_xX · 2023-04-14T15:24:02+00:00

Honestly, I believe most redpillers would do better with a life coach.

failing2start · 2023-04-14T17:40:00+00:00

If you are able to find one, I saw a somatic therapist, and it’s way less to do with talking than reconnecting in a way that any explanation will fall short of. But it saved my life from certain destruction and I’ve since sent multiple friends to the same. Each has been wildly successful in their own ways and credit the therapy experience. That said everyone is different and it can take trying a few different ones to find someone who is the right fit for you specifically.

eeeriemary · 2023-04-14T22:49:57+00:00

Usually the first session is what they use to gather more information about you. It took me almost a year to finally start "fixing" myself with my therapist. You're not going to feel much till you work on yourself, they're not here to solve your problems, they're here to help guide you and give you the strength to do it yourself. Maybe after a second session, see for yourself if the therapist is really the best one for you because it also takes time to find the right one for you, finding the best therapist for you is also like looking for a relationship. You have to be compatible. Some people take more time, others are very lucky but this shouldn't be getting in the way of you getting the help you need.

Different-Item-7994 · 2023-04-15T01:44:00+00:00

Therapy just basically continues a conversation you may have with yourself to get to a root cause and then you can think different about it.

StarTrippinn · 2023-04-15T05:03:05+00:00

I wouldnt say it always takes a while. If you have a great therapist, they can help you figure things out within a few sessions but thats rare IMO

Title	What is therapy supposed to accomplish?
Author	Electronic-Cicada958
Upvotes	16
Comments	41
Date	April 14, 2023 6:31 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/12lmw9e/what_is_therapy_supposed_to_accomplish/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-is-therapy-supposed-to-accomplish.1214254 https://theredarchive.com/post/1214254

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