The ugly truth

I_like_the_word_MUFF · 2020-05-22T09:46:49+00:00

I've been told I was damaged goods because I was molested as a child by a guy who tried to date me.

This goes both ways.

_-resonance-_ · 2020-05-22T08:15:26+00:00

" But how can you know when you confide something like this if a person will be supportive or will hurt you the way she did to this guy? It just isn't worth the risk."

if a person reacts like this to your trauma, the person isn't worth your time anyway so better for her to have left. So in a strange way, even if it is very hurtful finding another human reacting like this, I would say it is worth the risk because it gives you an excellent test of their character early in the relationship. If she can't deal with it, ok bye, whatever the reason is that she reacts this way, it won't be a good match.

PollaTronante · 2020-05-22T08:51:21+00:00

Reacting poorly/breaking up with someone because they reveal they've been raped in the past is, unfortunately, not a gender specific thing. I've also seen many screenshots circulating of men breaking up or saying they'd break up with a female partner who was raped.

Luvagoo · 2020-05-22T11:02:44+00:00

You answered your own question. At least 90% of women found this OP abhorrent. That's all you need to know. There will always be some bad seeds upholding toxic masculinity.

2020-05-22T12:31:51+00:00

I don’t think that it’s gender specific but it’s especially jarring when men reveal traumatic sexual experiences and vulnerability. Most people just can’t handle that kind of truth, majority of people are ignorant and superficial unfortunately. During the whole #metoo fiasco I revealed to some friends that I had been assaulted by women my whole life, non of them took me seriously and at times seemed like they were in denial that it was possible for men to be victims of sexual misconduct/assault by women. It takes a mature person to accept and live with uncomfortable truths.

To list a few: Nazi scientist won us the space race.

We had Japanese internment camps in the US

How we are condoning China’s muslim concentration camps.

Toxic and deadly Lithium we use in our devices is mined by children.

Circumcision is male genital mutilation.

Sweat shops.

Blood diamonds.

Most people live in denial.

raziphel · 2020-05-22T15:04:20+00:00

Some folks are just selfish, callous, shallow, insipid, and hurtful. OP is one of those people.

You're looking at the wrong examples here, and you gave yourself your own answer. If the grand majority of responders (90%, you said) were calling that asshole out for being a heartless gremlin, those are the people you should look to for moral and life lessons.

Use some common sense here dude.

As others have stated, if this is what causes someone to leave, you're better off without that person in your life. Find someone better. This is precisely why you don't date shallow people.

Inareskai · 2020-05-22T08:20:45+00:00

I mean, none of us are going to know the answer to 'Why' because we aren't this woman. But honestly I'd be willing to be it's because she IS an asshole.

And for sure it's hard to know if someone is going to be an asshole or not, especially early in a relationship. But it's not something inherent to one gender or anything - some people are just assholes.

It does reinforce the idea that men shouldn't share their feelings, and that sucks. The important thing to remember is the reaction of one woman is not indicative of the reaction of any other.

Honestly anyone of any gender who doesn't think she was an asshole here is in the wrong.

WestAtmosphere · 2020-05-22T16:06:06+00:00

This goes both ways as others pointed out, there are men as well who think women are damaged goods if they were raped, and many probably wouldn’t want to deal with her trauma. In fact I see many posts that the partner exasperates their trauma by wanting acts of sex that would mimic the trauma, or watching porn that exhibits the same nature.

The ugly truth is that there is a lot of men that’d like to know the details or see the footage from women being raped, including underage.

But, in terms of this post, I do see discrepancies sometimes with how women deal with men’s emotions. I’m not sure if this is because of societal stigma to pressure men into not showing emotion? I fully support men going to therapy, and wish more would - there is a lot of undiagnosed mental health issues, and childhood traumas that many men keep silent on. She is a bad partner for leaving because of this, and obviously does not feel emotionally for him.

Tavarshio · 2020-05-22T18:07:08+00:00

You know, perhaps he might have better luck dating someone who is also a sexual assault survivor. The evidence seems to show that if you haven't actually experienced this, you cannot really fathom what it's like to go through it and continue to live with it.

Hellion_shark · 2020-05-22T22:10:01+00:00

You don't know. People react differently and you just take the risk. She clearly has her very own idea of what a man should be and was in inlove with that idea, not with the person. People like that irk tthe shit out of me. When some men learned about my assault, I was their little project - their broken doll to fix with their love, and it was my fault I wasn't fixed when they thought I should be, cause they loved their own fantasy of being a hero, more than they loved me. Thi chick has issues and I think needing to take care of someone in distress does not sit well with her. Obviously. Also, gender roles. And who perpetuates gender roles more than the red pill? I don't say this isn't a problem, but trp is not it's solution. If anything it plays nicely into it. Also she I 20 super immature. Odds are she will end up regretting that as soon as real life kicks her in the face

2020-05-22T22:33:23+00:00

She shouldn’t be dating anyone. She’s not emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship with another human, probably in any capacity.

There’s usually the one person in a family, group of friends or group of coworkers who is not quite hated and ostracized but secretly most of the group don’t care for them because there is something “off”. She’s this person.

HeartbreakHotline · 2020-05-22T23:40:12+00:00

One or then cases don’t confirm it as a norm upon the thousands, not everyone is the same and you can’t use this case to generalize

A good woman, or man would comprehend and give a few taps on the back, and then show love and support, that is a worthy human being.

This chick might have not been the best out there, hence the reaction

-sick_sad_world- · 2020-06-03T06:54:37+00:00

It's a common fear among rape victims that people will be revolted by them or pity them.

I guess it's a common fear for a reason! Who will want them after they've been so shattered?

Mrapocalisse · 2020-05-23T21:43:59+00:00

>One woman acts like a cunt and thousands of other women call her out on being a cunt

>Omg this is so redpilling!!11

Shut up.

Besides some men pull this bullshit on women too,it goes both ways.

volcanolairbadguy · 2020-05-22T16:39:01+00:00

100%.

InverseCascade · 2020-05-25T01:55:44+00:00

That sub is full of 2 types of people. Abusers that abuse and think they are right, so they post looking for support, and find out that they are the asshole. And people that are being abused and are so beaten down by the abuse that they think maybe their abuser is right, and they are looking for some kind of help. So, you can't look at the abuser assholes in that sub as being a healthy person. Look at what the people replying are saying instead.

Cosmoglio · 2020-05-22T20:50:09+00:00

Nah mate. Just a mediocre human being. Move along.

Tavarshio · 2020-05-29T08:11:58+00:00

[deleted]

SoftDrink5 · 2020-05-22T14:45:12+00:00

Its inconsiderate to put your problems on others early in relationship. Take the opportunity to try and be strong for both of you? But of course you should be able to eventually confide these things

raziphel · 2020-05-22T12:08:20+00:00

[removed]

Title	The ugly truth
Author	Tavarshio
Upvotes	26
Comments	44
Date	May 22, 2020 8:07 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/gof825/the_ugly_truth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/the-ugly-truth.667548 https://theredarchive.com/post/667548

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