Ah, the classic “Passive Reciprocation”

throwaway-fds · 2021-09-03T22:14:23+00:00

My (LV) coworker literally told me that he views women proposing to their men as "embarrassing" and he would "not take them seriously."

WestAtmosphere · 2021-09-03T23:11:29+00:00

100%, if he's not asking = you are NOT a priority for the guy.

Vmchik · 2021-09-03T21:32:30+00:00

This is why men on Reddit say they love being approached and women making the first move. It’s not because they find it more attractive but because it requires much less effort and manipulation. They also place all the burden on you since you did the asking.

ComprehensiveAmoeba9 · 2021-09-03T23:19:01+00:00

I remember complaining to some friends about a LVM ex who initially put in tons of effort when we first started dating and after just a few weeks he started pulling away and stopped putting in effort, no longer asking me out on dates. Those friends told me that I needed to be the one to start initiating dates and texting him first because “men love it when a girl shows appreciation and starts making the plans instead. He probably feels like he’s under appreciated and you aren’t interested too”. Any man who is decent at reading social cues and interested in me enough to pay attention to how I feel should know that I was also interested in getting to know him too. If he wanted to he would. He wouldn’t have gone from hot to cold so quickly if he was really interested in pursuing a relationship with me. Instead he was scared of commitment and put me on the back burner once I was no longer a “shiny, new toy”. Now he’s doing the same thing he did to me to another woman. He was telling his friends he was willing to travel to where she lives just to sleep with her, no mention of taking her out on a date🤢 scrotes like this will try and keep you hooked at first by acting like they’re putting in effort then try and get you to want to suck his dick every night and be at his beck and call. Of course they’ll say yes if you ask them out because it gives them easy access to what they want the most

Maleddie · 2021-09-03T23:16:34+00:00

I've just started dating someone who plans dates, is generous, brings conversation but also asks questions and listens, etc. It's VERY early and I can't say if he's HV, but it feels like such a different experience. I have avoidant tendencies but his behaviour is really helping me to lean into dating in a way I've not done so before - it's been really hard to get excited by dates in the past with men's passiveness, either not talking or just speaking about themselves the whole time, weird game-playing messages, etc. Now I feel good about making an effort to look nice etc and to bring my A game to a date. With 50-50 dates where the guy is really meh, I resent putting so much energy into it.

I've been trying to work out how much FDS is to thank for this new kind of experience (although, again, it's very early, so can't get too excited) - I wouldn't even say I've done that much, but it's hard not to give FDS any credit when this is such an unusual experience for me and it's the first time I've tried dating since finding the sub.

ThxFDS · 2021-09-03T21:34:33+00:00

LVMs who just let life happen to them through passive reciprocation & NVM seeking a personal assistant gf are two sides of the same narcissistic coin. They believe that women are natural planners whose abilities should be used to serve men and curate their life experiences. The old myth where the female purpose is to add beauty and joy to a man's life? Miss me with that shit... I'll keep my beauty and joy to myself, or share it with those who actively reciprocate.

GoldenWaterfallFleur · 2021-09-04T04:29:26+00:00

I definitely agree that he should make you feel wanted. I cringe when I think about the times I went out of my way for a guy who was putting in little to no effort. Thankfully those were short lived and I got irritated quickly and dropped them fools. And when I met my partner it was like night and day to meet a man who actually pursued me, called me and texted me frequently, drove way out of his way every day just to spend time with me, cooked for me…I was like…yea those other dudes were not it!!

CoconutYogurtCEO · 2021-09-03T21:31:15+00:00

this couldn’t have come at a more perfect time for me

bonghits4jess · 2021-09-03T21:52:16+00:00

I needed to hear this, thanks!

Title	Ah, the classic “Passive Reciprocation”
Author	seanceanyone69
Upvotes	457
Comments	18
Date	September 3, 2021 5:52 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pha938/ah_the_classic_passive_reciprocation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ah-the-classic-passive-reciprocation.1067075 https://theredarchive.com/post/1067075

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