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[–]thruawoo90210FDS Newbie 230 points231 points232 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I was just listening to the episode from Brene Brown's podcast "unlocking us" with Emily and Amelia Nagoski, where they talk about how there two types of people; the "humans" who get to pursue their goals and dreams, think philosophical and grand ideas, advance themselves and society. And there are the "caretakers" who do everything in their powers to make sure the "humans" can live up to their potential. Society puts men in the "human" category and women in the "caretaker" category, and in general is enraged when either attempts to break out if it.
The episode is really good, I highly recommend it!
[–][deleted] 74 points75 points76 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Society doesn't get enraged when a guy tries to be the role of the caretaker. They are praised.
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie 71 points72 points73 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
They are treated like gods for taking their kid to school.
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup! They’re placed on a pedestal for doing the bare minimum or what’s common sense, as in being a responsible dad.
[–]mi1km0onFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This! How many ‘dad combed daughter hair!’ vids get thrown around with tons of likes and praise anything they do that is Expected of a women is given a reward.
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh yeah. I saw a pic of a guy just holding his child and the internet pretty much threw him a parade.
[–]daisyinflux 83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I WANT TO BE THE STAR. Bring my supporting cast of men, please.
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn right, sis
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]daisyinflux 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
1,000,000 percent!!!!!!
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie 125 points126 points127 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Anyone like me and think that deep down all men will most likely fail you and are unreliable?
Getting flashbacks from when my ex yelled at me for saying “ArE yOu On ThE RaG” during his narcissistic rages and I begged to be treated with respect. I don’t remember the last time a man actually went above and beyond to make sure I was ok.
[–][deleted] 66 points67 points68 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
If you want to go through the effort of finding one, you will. Of course, you don't have to.
The scarcity mindset benefits LVM. While being single is an excellent choice and can make life grand, most women want to be with someone. I feel like by saying there are no HVM, we are telling women who want to be with someone that they have to settle.
HVM are definitely out there, don't let LVM convince you there aren't just because LVM are the majority.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist 37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
100%! I had one who was a great bf, but we were young and had history we couldn’t work through and drifted apart. We are still great friends (we had been friends long before we dated), and he helped me heal from severe abuse in my past.
He is now a doting partner to another lady with kids, and I have so much respect for him. He looks after her kids, is involved with her family, cooks and cleans, and helps her with her study and MH issues.
I also know older women who have husbands who still see them as the most amazing and beautiful women. They are out there, they are hard to find. Just keep knowing your worth and improving yourself, don’t let LVM waste your time, so you’re open mentally for meeting good men. I know it’s easier said than done, but I believe it’s possible. We just make too many excuses for LVM and waste our time, money, mental energy on them.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for saying this. I feel like some people forget this is a dating sub.... I think it feels less like “effort” with FDS. Another recent post reminded everyone that dating should be fun. If you have fun but keep healthy boundaries then the feeling of “work” should be minimal.
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for this post 🙏🏻💞
[–]ChocolateBiscuit96FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same here :( this makes me really sad.
[–]mi1km0onFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes I truly feel this way, that’s why I won’t ever settle or get too comfortable with any man. Some can becomes trash or show their bad side after years.
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
This is so true it makes me sad.
Anyone wanna do a Golden Girl living situation? Or maybe a coven.
[–]Betty_BottleFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sign me up!
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😁 I wish I owned property for us.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Since The Golden Girls is my favorite show and I practice Witchcraft, I'd gladly join The Golden Girl Coven!!!
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🙂 I wish I could make this happen.
[–][deleted] 55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My boyfriend cooks for me, does my laundry (the clothes I keep at his house), make sure I'm okay, caters to me while on my period. He takes such good care of me ☺️
[–]kitkatnycFDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They understand. LVM just don’t care.
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It would be great just for once to have someone else carry the mental load.
[–]PenneyPenceFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh they understand. They just don’t care.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
💯💯 n they never will..it's in their DNA
[–]_friggin_pickleFDS Newbie 42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My boyfriend does all of these for me :)
[–]BetterToBeLonelyFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
What really hits home for me is the guilt I feel. My LVM STBXH has been making me some some dinners so that there is something in the fridge for me when I get home from working late shift. I actually feel guilty about him making me a few lousy meals!!! I did 100% of all cooking and cleaning until like 5 seconds ago and now I feel guilty for no longer being a doormat.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What's new? Men get tools to get women.
[–]oscine23FDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For some reason, reading this today, makes me really sad. '"Nobody cooks her meals"...we do theee most and are generally so neglected. 😥
She needs to take care of things, be the one to endure and forgive and "look past" things.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've never dated a woman who has done any of those things. There are lazy and incompetent men and women. If you find yourself dating one then leave or deal with it. It's that easy.
[–]brainsssszzzzzFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have dated men and women. The men have, to varying degrees, been good to me and taken care of things. But only the women have offered to make me dinner. There's nothing like it.
Now that I look back on it... the men have been useful, the women have cared for me. Not a perfect distinction and not a rule, but still.
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[–]thruawoo90210FDS Newbie 230 points231 points232 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 74 points75 points76 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie 71 points72 points73 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mi1km0onFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 39 points40 points41 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]daisyinflux 83 points84 points85 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]daisyinflux 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie 125 points126 points127 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 66 points67 points68 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist 37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ChocolateBiscuit96FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mi1km0onFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 38 points39 points40 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Betty_BottleFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 55 points56 points57 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]kitkatnycFDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PenneyPenceFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_friggin_pickleFDS Newbie 42 points43 points44 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BetterToBeLonelyFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]oscine23FDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]brainsssszzzzzFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link