I'm 35 and married but separated and in a complicated situation that w/out going into it means I will soon be single for the first time in over ten years. For the past year I've been mentally preparing for the possibility of dating in the sense that I've been working on myself and examining/understanding my failures as a partner. My marriage had failed years ago but I had the belief that if we ever officially split I wouldn't bother dating again. But then almost like a cruel joke of life I started getting approached by single men fairly frequently out of nowhere and I guess on some level I embraced the daydream part of it. once I got the bug in my head it got worse over the past year especially and now I've done a 180 where I feel like I can't wait to be dating again. I used to daydream about solitude but the truth is i would just about die to fall in love and start over which I know it's silly, but if I'm being honest it's what I want. So as you can tell I'm torn about the idea of dating. I have a lot of work to continue doing so as a result the timeline for me is that dating will be years away still (I want AT LEAST a year to be the eff alone TBH).

Recently I was at making small talk with some older people (in their 40s) and one of the men said something like "dating gets easier with age...well for men it does, not for women". We at the table just laughed and carried the conversation on. But to be honest it got under my skin. And it's been in my head off and on. Is his "joke" just a pop culture joke? Or do people truly experience this? Is there any truth that dating gets easier for men but harder for women? I know how insecure I sound trust me but that's because I AM insecure about it. This came out of nowhere because age has never been something I've been self conscious about before. In fact whenever my friends would vent about getting older I could never relate. But now I have this worm on my brain about dating. I was bored enough today to Google my insecurities and I saw a lot of depressing answers that dating is difficult for women as they get older. But i can't tell how much of it is men daydreaming if you know what I'm saying. And how much is truth. I notice a lot of answers from women are that it's not true at all and that dating is better or the same as it was in youth. And it's mostly just men answering on behalf of women to say it's harder for women. So i don't know who to believe.

If I wait until I'm about 40 is the dating scene really going to be THAT bad? I know this sub can be brutal I promise I can take it, this growing age insecurity is something I need to work through anyway. I imagine that there is a pool of single men coming out of divorce at the same age as me. Bit am I wrong? Any advice for being older on the dating scene?

As far as strategy goes, I was talking to my grandma about this. My grandma remarried in her 50s and she had an interesting outlook which was that if you are on the SCENE (as in going to singles events and going on random dates with strangers) then yes men have the advantage with age. But if you are dating at work, by meeting friends through social circles and hobbies then women have the advantage. She tells me to not even bother with the "scene" because that is for young women and to plan on focusing on meeting men organically because it's a hidden dating secret for older women. Thought that was interesting but anyone have experience with any of this?? Thank you!