Deleted dating apps

ironymaiden87 · 2020-03-10T08:34:55+00:00

"When you match with a man they feel like they've already won"

This is SO true and hearing it put like that makes me realize, after years of "wtfing" over it, why so many of them don't even say "hi". I mean I always knew it was an ego thing but I still couldn't see the point in being such a low effort piece of shit when you're on an app to supposedly meet people. But I guess if they're treating it like fkn Pokemon it's just "gotta catch 'em all". 🙄 Dating apps teach men to take women for granted.

Guys like that are the main reason I hate dating apps because it actually makes me feel like shit when I'm swiped right on but they don't want to talk to me. I'm a fucking person, not just a bunch of nice pictures on your phone.

Hinge is finally in my country so I installed it because I heard it was better but one look at it reminded me why I hate dating apps and hopefully won't ever use one again. I am finding it impossible to meet people irl too but it's still better than having a stupid app make me feel like garbage. I'm too sensitive for that shit.

I met my last long-term boyfriend via Tinder when it had just become a thing and honestly? He was such a nightmare and we were so mismatched that that also put me off OLD. And throughout the whole relationship I felt weird that we'd met that way. I was actually embarrassed by it (back then it was super uncommon). All my other relationships happened without dating apps and sure, they didn't work out, but they were so much better and more passionate than anything that happened because of OLD.

I am also constantly in two minds about it because while I enjoy being single, I do want to share my life with someone, and as I get older it's getting harder and harder to meet people. It seems so hard to get into a good, healthy relationship these days because apparently most men don't want that anymore. Because of goddamn online dating.

For real I could rant forever about how bad I think dating apps are for society and especially women but I'll put a pin in it here. 🤐

circescircus · 2020-03-10T13:29:11+00:00

Yes, dating apps are 99% LVM. Not even regular standard LVM, but a lot of them are predators, criminals, undiagnosed/untreated mentally ill, addicted or personality disordered. A huge amount. And yes, these types of men crawl around in regular society as well, but you would never be exposed to the vast majority of them, if you were not on apps. Your lifestyles, routines, the people you talk to and associate with-- would not have you crossing paths with such scum.

Another thing about dating apps-- they condition women to lower their standards and expectations, since dating apps are a race to the bottom in terms of what women can expect from men. Men know this and they actively try to bring OLD standards further down, because ultimately they view the app as a free prostitution app. In the same breath they complain about not getting matches, too many bots on the app, etc. What do they expect? If you make apps into such terrible places for women, why would women join? They've ruined dating apps for both men and women, and they can't see how they are responsible for it.

Even if you have a spine made of steel, a skin like an elephant and a ruthless screening system, this sliding of standards and expectations, even for something as simple as social etiquette and human decency, still effects you subconsciously. And the vast majority of women on dating apps don't have a spine made of steel, skin like an elephant or a ruthless screening system. The vast majority are clueless and the ones meeting up with men are more likely than not, being traumatized and hurt by men. All so they can win the "lottery" of dating apps? It makes no sense. To put so much time and energy into something, to risk so much, to not only just get nothing, but to have things taken from you?

Women are also conditioned to not trust their intuition. You can't screen on dating apps the same way you can in real life. You're just looking at pictures, words-- so much is lost. So women learn to not trust their gut, because they are regularly exposed to uncomfortable interactions with men. A lot of the guys women meet up with on apps, they would have avoided if they met in person, because they would have sensed something "off" about him.

Another con of dating apps-- it's hard to tell if you're a guy's type or not, because men fake intention/interest, and they try to bait anyone/everyone. For example, in real life, when I hang out with my girlfriends and men show interest in us, I can immediately tell what his type is, if my friend has a different look from me. A lot of men have a strong type but they won't bother to tell women that, because it reduces their options.

In real life, you can also screen out men who are going around the room, hitting on every woman with a pulse. You can avoid men with a wandering eye, who scan the room. All of that is lost on dating apps.

It's better to be alone and with 10 cats and boxed wine, over subjecting yourself to the insanity and destruction of dating apps. And obviously, you don't have to be single if you don't want to be. It does take more effort to go out there and show up to places, but I don't consider dating apps to be an option. It's better to expand your social circles, meet people organically, and try to go for quality over quantity.

Maybe dating apps were not so bad 7-10 years ago, they were like personal ads you'd find in the newspaper. The internet/tech has evolved and changed since then, dating apps have been gamified, dating app companies modeled their business after gay hookup apps.

IMO, the only women who have something to gain from apps, are cam girls, girls selling photos of their ass or whatever. Women who go on apps, thinking they are going to go on a nice date, get into a nice relationship, are really naive at best, and delusional at worst.

surviveIIthrive · 2020-03-10T07:37:29+00:00

yeah. i am anti-OLD. i think it is backwards. women shouldn’t advertise themselves for love, that is desperation. generally the FDS method does not advise pursuing a man. even if you are on OLD waiting to be messaged, the very fact that you have hung up your sign is a form of pursuit. guys know this, that is why OLD is full of LVM trying to take advantage.

i also think it is false that it is hard to met men in real life. it is hard to meet people, in general, that you’ll click with on a deeper level. this is true of friendship as well. but it is very easy to meet potential friends, and romantic partners, by attending social events, hobby groups, and so on. then it is just a numbers game. but the advantage here is that you are meeting men who A) have something in common with you by dint of being at the same type of event, and B) are capable of leaving the house to pursue a tangible, real world interest. those two things are a great start in finding a HVM.

LVM are on OLD using a scattergun method to have random sex. HVM are attending events and pursuing their hobbies because they have a life. they’re at that foreign language meet up, that hiking group, that cooking class. they are pursuing intellectual betterment, maintaining their physical health, acquiring a new skill, what have you. all things we ladies should be doing as well, because that is what keeps a person evolving and growing for the better. and if you happen to meet someone along the way, awesome.

it is okay to see one person at a time. you don’t have to distract yourself with other men. you can also distract yourself by remaining active and engaged with your relationship to yourself, enjoying your hobbies, meeting your goals, and so on.

ny-lady · 2020-03-10T14:28:07+00:00

Id say most HV people dont use OLD on either side, we are out living life.

Not to say some of you using are as you're not but a good majority are.(I hope you get my point) Seems many here are quitting OLD, you've learned.

There was some study done on how many just use it for validation/being bored and no intentions of meeting people.

smithaej · 2020-03-10T16:35:13+00:00

Your "if you are on an app you can't play hard to get" struck a cord with me, in a good way.

I was suggested to friends to go on old because they were like "people probably assume you have a partner because you don't act in a way that makes it clear youre looking for a partner."

And I thought old would be good it gives people a chance to see I'm available so they can now ask me out clearly without confusion. N o p e.

I realize I was just lowering my standards.

eobardsthong · 2020-03-10T12:54:01+00:00

Idk, I feel like I would rather allow one man to peruse who I believe is worth my time than making myself date a lot men I know will not work out or respect me. I’m busy with work and it doesn’t really make sense to use my mental energy on making sure it looks like I have options when I obviously do. Whether I’d like to humor them is another story but I’m not lacking in admirers. Personally, it sounds kinda counterintuitive that the way to show value is by admitting you give a lot of guys a chance but I get how a man can get bigheaded knowing you say no to a lot of people but said yes to him. Do you think we can let them know we will put our career goals and dreams ahead anyone we are dating, and get a similar result? Or will they only be serious if they are competing with another man? I have a feeling this is the case with Lvm for sure. Will actual Hvm see how much you value your time as a competition for your trust (Competition with integrity) as opposed to a Lvm who will compete to be king of this particular pussy(ego competition)? This particular advice from fds has been on my mind because Im starting to feel ready to date but with work, friends, and family time, I don’t know that I would have time to date one guy, let alone multiple. Thoughts/advice y’all?

meownica00 · 2020-03-10T06:44:40+00:00

YUP 😩just deleted mine too. Feel the EXACT same way. Accepting its just gonna be me & my cat 🐱LOLLL

Haltthemoon · 2020-03-10T18:48:03+00:00

You did the right thing. I deleted all of my apps recently. It was weird at first. Now, I really enjoy the peace. I will probably sound like a broken record because everyone in this subreddit will tell you the same thing I'm going to say: focus on yourself and do the things you enjoy. It is better to meet men this way. Be patient. It's not the quantity, it's the quality.

Title	Deleted dating apps
Author	Mean-Head
Upvotes	51
Comments	32
Date	March 10, 2020 6:38 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fg9mem/deleted_dating_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/deleted-dating-apps.680537 https://theredarchive.com/post/680537

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