Experienced FDSers - translation request

popfriday · 2020-02-25T23:47:31+00:00

Unpopular opinion - unless he flat out says “sex/casual hook up” there is no answer a man can say that can be trusted or seen as a green flag.

Because even if he says “I want a girlfriend” 1) he could be lying 2) he could be clingy or desperate 3) he could be honest but it doesn’t mean he’s a good guy. Could mean he’s more prepared to act serious to get sex / gf treatment because he knows that’s what women want to hear either way.

To me “A girl I fancy” is probably the most honest answers you’re going to get. Most men online are looking for a girl they fancy. A girl they are attracted to and can chase until they’re bored. If magic happens who knows. But isn’t that what 99% of dating is about? Looking for someone you like and enjoy your time with? Time can only tell if they’re users or genuinely like you.

I think dating is about choosing each other, not the life style. So even as a woman dating, I’d never say “I want a bf” because I don’t just want a dude to call my bf. I want to find a dude I fancy, like spending time with and eventually pursue something exclusive with. I personally see men looking for gfs (aka a reliable source of sex and comfort) to be a red flag because anyone can fit the role.

You can read this guys vibe better than anyone. If he’s 8/10 he probably has lots of options. If you go on a date with him you’ll probably know right away.

Unless a dude flat out says I want sex or something crude, I don’t really care If someone says “see where things go” because like...isn’t that dating?? I date (when I was single) to see where things go with people. As women we reject more guys who like us than the other way around. When I was dating that was my go to response cause tf? I don’t know these people!

Anyway that’s how I feel. I know being vague about that question in this way is seen as a “fuck boy” response but I wouldn’t trust a man who says “I’m looking for a gf”. They know pick mes eat that up for breakfast.

To me it’s more about vibe and action. And of course, no sex. Nothing weeds them out than beings sexless while paying to court. As long as you’re dating safely and in public and refusing to fuck, you honestly can’t lose.

LadyHormoneMonster · 2020-02-25T22:41:11+00:00

He’s “open” to anything he can get.

quaintlyspoken · 2020-02-25T22:38:04+00:00

All of his answers were fuckboy answers. He's a LVM for sure. Dodge this bullet sis.

SavvyInNYC · 2020-02-25T22:43:21+00:00

He’s not gonna say what he wants until he knows what you want. So he can tell you want you want to hear.

Next.

daglowup · 2020-02-25T23:55:25+00:00

Let me take a stab: he was in a serious relationship in his mid-late twenties but that ended once he started making decent money and realised he was an “8/10”. Then he decided to find a younger trophy wife but realised that’s easier said than done. He’s on OLD to find easy sex but is still looking for his 25 year old handmaiden and will dump you if he finds her. And that’s the tea for today.

AyemHerself · 2020-02-25T23:54:45+00:00

He wants casual. He won't say anything to limit his choices because he doesn't have a lot of attention to beginn with, so he keeps his recitations bland and inoffensive.

2020-02-26T00:47:34+00:00

In my experience, it means they aren't serious about finding an exclusive relationship right now, but it's hard to say. Actions need to match words, cause people lie.

I also think so many people don't want to say they're looking for a relationship because that's what we are taught. I used to say this exact same thing when men asked me what I was looking for. Sounds like I want something casual right, but at the time I really wanted a relationship.

Anyways, he can only waste your time if you let him. Say you keep chatting with him or go on 1 or 2 dates with him to get to know him, if you set your boundaries, I think you'll find out pretty quickly what he is looking for.

Edit: Oh I didn't realize he was 35. By 35 it's simple enough to say whether you want a relationship or not.

Maisiebr · 2020-02-25T22:38:57+00:00

Also, rating himself (probably wrong)? Hell no. You decide if you're attracted to him or not, not him.

RiteWriter · 2020-02-26T06:03:53+00:00

Not necessarily = situationship at best

illstartingoveragain · 2020-02-25T22:41:44+00:00

Next!

Radiant_Success · 2020-02-25T22:41:56+00:00

Well, if he was seeking a partner or someone to share with, he would've stated it.

modernmedusaa · 2020-02-26T14:25:37+00:00

the fact he's 35, 8/10 and being vague....................eh sis 35 is old enough to be direct & know what u want

me thinks he's still on the market because he's a cheater....most 8/10 good egg men are snapped up by then

the fact he said 'i'm looking for someone I really fancy' sounds very PHYSICAL based, like he's just after casual sex or arm candy

azngirl7689 · 2020-02-26T03:17:38+00:00

Yeah that’s a fuckboy. Do not fuck him.

Title	Experienced FDSers - translation request
Author	saxophonepax
Upvotes	26
Comments	19
Date	February 25, 2020 10:19 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f9ie84/experienced_fdsers_translation_request/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/experienced-fdsers-translation-request.681504 https://theredarchive.com/post/681504

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