Hovering attempt. Need suggestions for the response

subgirlygirl · 2021-12-16T05:02:30+00:00

"Your thoughts are noted, but I'll be moving forward with my children's and my best interests in mind. I thank you for respecting my decisions."

Ignore the chatter. Don't address it. Don't explain. Don't engage. Don't give them anything to argue.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-12-16T04:58:08+00:00

Tell his family member to mind their own business and block them.

Oh wow, your ex gave his kids money. They are HIS kids! Does he pay child support? My ex only gave the kids 50 bucks cash here and there. No child support. Meanwhile I'm paying thousands to shelter, feed, clothe and educate them.

Best thing about separating from my NV ex husband was blocking all of his hideous family.

LR_today · 2021-12-16T05:14:23+00:00

Silence.

Silence drives them crazy.

Platipus6 · 2021-12-16T05:31:36+00:00

My answer would be filled with expletives about them minding their fucking business so I have no reply.

Be careful though. He sounds like an obsessed stalker who's waiting for a trigger moment to justify an annihilation. I've just seen 2 interrogations of men who killed women who were full-blown possessive, jealous, unhinged externalizers. They mentioned money a lot too. They think if they pay, they own. They HAVE paid, they STILL own you.

One murdered his ex-wife on Christmas Eve. He kept calling it 'cheating' when they were fully broken up and she had moved on.

vaguelinen · 2021-12-16T07:10:06+00:00

I think that roughly translates as “he’s annoying us and we want you to take over dealing with him.”

GlitteryMoss · 2021-12-16T05:51:40+00:00

Block all these people. See if you can move elsewhere.

samedinuitmort · 2021-12-16T07:02:29+00:00

Honestly these people are the worst. Are you familiar with the concept of “flying monkeys”? There’s so much of that in situations of abuse.

A lot of retorts come to mind about this stupid-ass message.
“I don’t remember hiring you as a mediator” “Looking at what facts? You were not there, so what facts do you have certain knowledge of?”
“Looking at the facts, I think you would certainly benefit from therapy. You are displaying behaviour that is severely lacking in boundaries. Boundaries are essential to be relationally healthy; they inform us of what is healthy and what our limits are. A good therapist will help you develop the ability to say ‘no’ and stop inappropriate behaviours, both from others and from yourself. Even though you seem very far from boundaried, o think you can learn it.”
“So you don’t believe that he did xyz to me? You’d need video footage and even then you’d given him the benefit of the doubt? He won’t stop being abusive because he gets enabled by family like you.”

But anyway regardless of how many good answers there are, this ends up being a case of block and delete if you can, I’m sure you know that already!

If you’re still suffering a lot from your ex’s abuse/infidelity/porn use, there’s a really good anti-porn support group called Betrayal Trauma Recovery (that’s [http://btr.org](btr.org)). You pay about 120 dollars a month and can attend group every single day (there’s I think 6 meetings every day and 2 on the weekends). Their site also has lots of free resources, articles, podcasts, book recommendations… it’s super helpful.

pipeuptopipedown · 2021-12-16T09:35:26+00:00

Flying monkeys, begone!

thewetdog_ · 2021-12-16T12:22:35+00:00

AskFDS is the sub for this

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