What message does splitting the bill send?

38 points•125 comments•submitted by wh0rederline to r/dating

for reference, i'm 21f, live in a sometimes 'old fashioned' and isolated place, but ultimately we're very modern. for this post, assume i'm talking exclusively about cis men.

so whenever i go out to eat etc with someone, they occasionally am surprised when i tell the staff we're splitting the bill either 50/50 or by what we ordered (eg for drinks as i tend to drink more). i do this because it's 2020, i was raised polite, and i have my own money. genuinely no offense intended to traditional people.

this question came up because on the last date i was on he asked if he did something wrong. he's 26m so no weird age gap. i was confused but apparently asking to split the bill makes it seem like you didn't enjoy the date, despite the fact i do this no matter how the date went. apparently it can also be emasculating, which is fair enough.

what are other people's perspectives on this?

edit: i accidentally posted too early wait for me to finish typing