I know Matthew is controversial around here, but this is extremely sound advice.

seraphinelysion · 2020-07-13T20:39:31+00:00

My ex in a nutshell...

What he says: I love you!

What he does: Fly to another state to spend time with another girl "friend".

What he intended: "I never meant for that to hurt you."

Me while this is all going down: 🤡

Sage_Planter · 2020-07-13T20:30:40+00:00

Someone once told me "People judge themselves by their intentions, but others judge them by their actions." That quote always stuck with me.

BasieSkanks · 2020-07-13T20:10:04+00:00

For some people, saying that they’re going to do something is as good as them doing it. Stay away from such people.

LaBaronessa · 2020-07-13T19:54:15+00:00

Luckily I've never looked into him as I heard a lot about what he promotes. That being said the FDS handbook absolutely promotes this. Actions speak louder than words. Forget the empty words and focus on how they carry themselves and what they do for you.

The piece about intent is absolutely correct. Doesn't matter how good in nature it is, can they deliver? Are they delivering? They will reach the ends of the earth to make it happen if they don't wanna lose you.

Know your worth, add tax. 💅🏽

Summerisle7 · 2020-07-13T20:09:41+00:00

I like the part about gauging to see if he has the ability to deliver on what he promises. Look critically at how he lives now. His job, his relationships, his home. Is it really realistic that he'll ever have the wherewithal to go on nice holidays, be a provider, be there for you.

throwaway93731 · 2020-07-14T06:32:15+00:00

Damn, I really felt this one.

With the last guy I dated, it seemed like his actions weren’t matching up with his words. Yet, I still didn’t think he was a “bad guy” for whatever reason—despite him not acting on what he said, I still, in my gut, felt that he was genuine when he spoke to me. It was really weird and I kept scratching my head over it. I’ve dated guys who were disingenuous before, and I could feel that with every bone in my body. I don’t know why I wasn’t getting that same feeling with this last dude even though his actions didn’t match his words.

I never once considered that maybe he just wasn’t ABLE to deliver. That makes a lot more sense.

I also really like the line: “mute what they are saying.” That’s a clever one.

umbralgarden · 2020-07-14T00:33:17+00:00

This hit me like a ton of bricks I feel personally attacked. Been listening to too many sweet words lately.

dzgata · 2020-07-13T23:04:06+00:00

A broken clock is right twice a day!

Struggleis4real · 2020-07-14T00:56:51+00:00

Ohhh I’m a firm believer of actions over words, but this is a nice spin on things.

That being said, has anyone watched THE SINGLE WIVES on Netflix? He is their dating coach, and it’s been interesting comparing his “advice” to that of FDS and realizing his tactics aren’t working very well for the ladies. FDS handbook instantly tells us that he isn’t invested or interested based on some of the initial actions. But I think the critique on their first few dates about conversations and pace is good food for thought.

throwaway93731 · 2020-07-14T07:12:04+00:00

I do have a question I wonder if anyone can answer though. Matthew says here “it’s not always true that words are a cover up for someone’s true intentions. We shouldn’t distrust every word as a potential lie. Sometimes people have the best intentions. But intention is not delivery.”

What would make a guy who has good intentions still unable to deliver?

mouthyhousewife · 2020-07-14T16:21:05+00:00

I needed to read this

ombrelashes · 2020-07-14T18:45:54+00:00

I'm just curious, why is Mathew not like in this sub?

Salt_Satisfaction · 2020-07-15T14:36:03+00:00

Lol what about guys who sound unpleasant but then they actually help you with actions? Still trying to figure that one out

Title	I know Matthew is controversial around here, but this is extremely sound advice.
Author	BasieSkanks
Upvotes	276
Comments	31
Date	July 13, 2020 7:05 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hqljdc/i_know_matthew_is_controversial_around_here_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-know-matthew-is-controversial-around-here-but.712470 https://theredarchive.com/post/712470

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