Men Who Re-Marry Quickly After Their Wives Die

Elegant_Flight · 2020-04-03T17:09:20+00:00

I've read somewhere that men in general remarry after divorce or widowhood because they are more reliant on their female partner. They also tend to remarry pretty quickly as well for the same reason. I think being cared for is very normalised for them.

Women tend not to remarry quickly because of a smaller pool of eligible partners as well as avoiding more caretaking burdens.

So yeah, it will never surprise me how quickly men remarry it find new relationships because they tend to rely quite heavily on their partners emotionally and logistically (food etc.)

2020-04-03T17:30:46+00:00

They’re terrible. There’s endless Reddit stories where men are upset that their kids haven’t accepted the new, younger wife when their mom hasn’t even been dead for three months. Or stories of men that start cheating because their wife can’t have sex anymore after becoming sick or disabled from an accident. Then they marry the affair partner as soon as the spouse passes. It’s so bizarre and unhealthy.

I had a family member that was older when his wife passed and it wasn’t long before he was seeking women to replace her because he couldn’t cook or clean. Within months his home was in complete shambles despite that he was able bodied and he could do it himself.

2020-04-03T18:24:26+00:00

It’s frightening and disturbing and how many men view women as a literal commodity. They don’t love their wives for who she is, they love her for what she does for him, if they love her at all.

rainbowshummingbird · 2020-04-03T17:52:25+00:00

He needs an immediate replacement to do all of the things he can’t or won’t do. You know, like a mom; someone to make his life easier. Poor, needy baby.

jeanneeebeanneee · 2020-04-03T18:27:26+00:00

This is literally a tale as old as time. Men tend to move on much faster because they're unwilling or straight up incapable of doing the simplest things to keep themselves alive and functioning.

caoutchouck · 2020-04-03T17:04:58+00:00

Imo it’s pathetic for both parties involved. He is basically saying he can’t survive without a woman doing all his shit for him, eg raising kids, going without sex, cooking, etc. Also, for the new wife it basically says that she comes second to his first wife and is just a replacement. Idk, that’s just my opinion. It sounds harsh I know but over my dead body would I ever marry a man who’s first wife died, especially that quickly. From what I’ve seen it’s out of male desperation and inability to take care of himself and filling an emotional hole, rather than because he actually loves the second wife.

You rarely hear of women doing the same thing, and it’s for a real reason. Men are pathetic 90% of the time and in this situation he’d be better off getting grief counseling and getting closer to his existing family members rather than expecting another woman to immediately fill the hole his dead wife left. It shows me that he 1. Never really loved his first wife and that in his eyes women are replaceable, like objects, and 2. He won’t ever love the second one (replacement wife) either because she’s just that: a replacement. Ladies, value yourselves more please.

2020-04-03T18:31:28+00:00

It's disgusting.

Fbright · 2020-04-03T20:42:46+00:00

Hey there ladies- I happen to be a widow. I was in an unbelievably happy marriage for 19 years to a man who was incredible and treated me amazing. I also treated him amazing and it was literally heaven on earth. Sure- life sometimes fucked with us- but we were always in each others corner and always had each others backs. He was in an exciting but dangerous career and we spoke about what he would want me to do if the worst thing happened. He always assured me that in the end- he would be burying me as a very old man. Well guess what? 18 months ago the worst thing happened. I am not trying to replace him as that is not even possible but no matter what I do or who I fuck- he’s never coming back. I am incredibly grateful for our 19 years- and I pray there is an afterlife and I get to see him again- but until then I’m going to use the rest of my time here on earth to explore love and all there is. All of you with opinions on widows- better hope you’re never put in their place.

sissysheeps · 2020-04-03T23:00:51+00:00

My dad did. He married a narcissistic pillhead after my mom died suddenly. My brother and I were 8 and 6. My dad's an alcoholic and it got bad after my mom dies. As u can imagine, it was a fucking shit show and I have extremely limited contact with them now.

It's gross and pathetic. Moreso because his own father did the same thing (with his own daughter's ex mother in law no less) and it caused a huge rift in the family.

Rockymemorylane · 2020-04-03T21:04:54+00:00

I know a man who married 10 days after his wife died. His wife knew about it though and she planned the marriage with him before her death. She was slowly dying from cancer and told him that after she dies, he should marry girl B (this girl was single and has been married twice before with no children). This was the dying wife's wish because she was concerned of her 8 very young children she was going to leave behind once she died.

The concept of nannies was not prevalent and plus the woman wanted someone who already was familiar with her children. The wife and the husband's parents were too old or dead to care for the kids and their siblings have families of their own to care for another 8 more. In short, this marriage was out of convenience.

Girl B didn't have a problem with it. She was married twice before and was unable to conceive. Plus, at this point she didn't think she would find love if the men knew she married twice and divorced so she settled with this arrangement. Those children would become her step-children. She did eventually have 2 kids of her own after struggling to conceive though many years after she married him.

Life's crazy and messy lol.

May26th · 2020-04-04T00:32:02+00:00

This happened with an older couple who lived near me. The lady was so, so wonderful. She was an artist who had lived this incredible life, such a wonderful free spirit, and a really striking beauty. Sadly she died. And about 8 weeks later (not much more) he announced that he has to get on with his life and introduced us all to this morning kind of bland woman. She seemed nice enough but I couldn't see anything they really had in common, she wasn't very pretty or interesting (I know I'm being harsh here). Anyway within less than a year (of burying the "love if his life"), he remarried to this lady. She cooked and cleaned A LOT. I remember going over there and seeing him just hanging out in his living room while she brought him pie. Him with his feet up and her running around frantically cleaning. Such a contrast to the last time I was there, when he was scrubbing dishes, trying to time dinner, fix drinks etc. And suddenly here he was with effectively a maid. Pretty good life upgrade for him!

carolinagq24 · 2020-04-04T02:38:22+00:00

My grandfather-in-law married the nurse that took care of his dying wife when she had cancer 🙄

Alybank · 2020-04-04T01:07:30+00:00

I’ve seen it twice. Both weird situations, but didn’t seem to be LVM in either. I guess I just don’t know many widowers.

A guy wife committed suicide, literally ALL the single women at church wanted him. About 6 months later, he was in a relationship with my Sunday School teacher, who was single but not really looking. They’re 15ish years apart, but we’re great together. She got MS when they were engaged, and their wedding date has to be moved because of her treatments, but they eventually got married, and are still together 10 Yrs later.
I was really little(under 10 Yrs old) when this happened so I don’t remember the details, but also from church, there were two families who were friends. One husband died(Husband A) and when Wife B got terminal cancer, she basically told her husband(Husband B) to date(and possibly marry) wife A because she’s make a good step-Mom, and the kids were good friends. So with permission they did date, and less than a year after Wife B died they were married.

StrawberryMoon3 · 2020-04-04T01:43:25+00:00

It's a major red flag and it looks suspicious too

evenitout · 2020-04-05T21:35:36+00:00

It feels like they didn’t give much of a shit about the first wife. The people I’ve known who really cared about their spouses, they didn’t move on for YEARS. Some of them never moved on.

AnnieandFish · 2020-04-03T17:52:56+00:00

I could see it being reasonable if it’s been a drawn-out illness, or something like a coma, where he’s been grieving a while and has likely made peace with it. The exception to that would be men with younger/dependent children; it impacts the kids lives too much to make that transition quickly.

cici_sweetheart · 2020-04-04T06:55:06+00:00

Wait how did she die first? Idk I don’t trust it

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