Pick-mes in FDS?

extraacct1234 · 2020-02-21T16:37:06+00:00

Absolutely. Respond to them. Direct them to the handbook. But please don't get into long drawn-out back and forth argument. Maybe engage them once or twice and then drop it.

Most importantly though is report them so the mods can deal with it. We can label people pickmeisha, remove their comments, we can also ban or give two-day time-out bans for not reading the handbook.

We are growing very very fast and it takes a lot of work to stay on top of the flood of pickmes that are joining. Personally, I used to read every single post and all the comments every single day but it's impossible now with the massive amount of traffic and growth that we've experienced for me to do this anymore. Therefore we really rely on all you ladies reporting comments you see that don't follow FDS rules!

We're also having a problem with the male trolls upvoting these pickme's comments and giving them awards.

Thank you all for your help with reporting anything that you see that doesn't fit our sub standards!

Nearby-Armadillo · 2020-02-21T16:56:58+00:00

There are places where the Handbook does advocate for getting a FWB. And some ladies who don't want marriage will be interested in a high-value way to do that. If talking about that isn't allowed, maybe a clarified of the handbook is in order.

circescircus · 2020-02-21T17:22:03+00:00

Well, we want to help pickmeishas help themselves. No one can do that work for another person. And it can be very hard work to do. It can make a difference in someone's life, to have a guide or resource, or to at least relate to another person's honest experience.

I'd rather give a pickme the benefit of the doubt, to make her feel heard, write her a thoughtful supportive response, and the ball is in her court after that. If she chooses to be combative, if she pretends to be stupid or if she tries to push her misdirected anger onto this sub/onto women here-- we won't tolerate that.

Yes, they should read the handbook and spend some time just browsing and reading before asking asinine questions. But I strongly believe that pickmes need to be heard, even if their situation is the same as hundreds of others, and the answer to her "problem" is obvious.

It's a balance. It's important to support pickmes who really are trying to change (it's hard) without enabling them. It's important that FDS is not seen as a place that is hostile to women who are trying to improve themselves, sometimes after trauma and always after a lifetime of misogynistic socialization and conditioning. But it's equally important to keep saboteurs, libfem propagandists and askholes out of here.

I'd say most pickmes are redeemable, but some libfem pickmes are too far gone. They'd rather sabotage FDS than to just stay in their own lane. I'm not talking about the pickmes who write apologetic posts about whatever situationship they're currently in. I'm talking about the libfems who pretend to be stupid or curious. Those types are too far gone, and they are not on FDS to improve themselves. They are here for other reasons.

CuriousCatNYC777 · 2020-02-21T19:20:07+00:00

[deleted]

Novemberinthechair · 2020-02-21T21:57:21+00:00

Some of them are dudes who want to keep "fuck me feminism" (which isn't real feminism, just liberalism, formally known as the free love movement) alive. Sometimes I can smell the testosterone on their posts.

Too bad for them some of us read a lot and don't ignore history.

cherieblosum · 2020-02-21T21:48:06+00:00

Report them to the mods as well so we can tag them as pick mes.

CuriousCatNYC777 · 2020-02-21T20:26:57+00:00

Flag the Pickmeisha comments and posts when you see them.

Warrior-Kai · 2020-02-22T00:56:26+00:00

Honest question — I thought I read something about FWB being ok in some situations in the handbook? I read it all — just couldn’t find it when I relooked. I think it had to do with having an outlet while waiting to sleep with a HVM.

smittydoodle · 2020-02-22T16:56:25+00:00

I get more annoyed by posters who ignore the advice from this subreddit and argue with those who try to help them. If they don’t want to leave their LVM, then I don’t get why they’re asking for advice.

bluelightsonblkgirls · 2020-02-21T16:52:53+00:00

The only thing I will say is that I’ve seen some mods disagree on some things, so to automatically find suspect things that supposedly FDS as a whole is against is a not a full proof sign of finding Pick Mes (I refuse to say pickmeisha). Also, not everyone was a pick me before joining FDS (so much of this stuff is common sense tbh).

2020-02-21T21:20:16+00:00

[deleted]

crafting-ur-end · 2020-02-22T04:40:48+00:00

[removed]

Title	Pick-mes in FDS?
Author	scandalousandevil
Upvotes	140
Comments	38
Date	February 21, 2020 1:03 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f7aspz/pickmes_in_fds/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/pick-mes-in-fds.681825 https://theredarchive.com/post/681825

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