Remember this every time a pick me urge arises. You’re seeking to fill the void left by things you were previously traumatized by. You can override it with self love. You have options. You’re not destined to remain weighed down by the past.

Usual_Zucchini · 2020-02-04T04:10:12+00:00

This is so true. I grew up with a mom who liked to tell me I was a miserable person that no one would ever love, and that she felt bad for whatever man I ended up with. She also told me that my miserable disposition was genetic so there was no way I could change it. She'd constantly tell me how worthless and ungrateful I was and that she was ashamed to be my mom.

She's been dead for 8 years and I still, STILL to this day have to remind myself that I have value. Literally, I chant it to myself silently all day long. "I have worth. I don't have to prove myself." Sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out had I not been raised in such an environment. I logically know what she said wasn't true, but those things have been so engrained that it's only natural for me to operate out of a place of feeling like I should be happy that anyone gives me the time of day.

grimreapersdtr · 2020-02-04T04:07:12+00:00

I edited it for myself:

... Trauma keeps you in a loop of your past. You'll be 25 39 with ~~an 8 year old~~ a 25 year old mindset & thought process. That's why you people please, or overextend yourself or stay places longer than you should have.

teibe · 2020-02-04T05:03:16+00:00

I don't think I can ever be as strong as you guys honestly. The truth is that deep inside I don't feel like I deserve anything good and that's why I choose to be alone.

surviveIIthrive · 2020-02-04T05:16:02+00:00

The part about staying in places longer than you should have is hitting me like a ton of bricks right now! Damn!

novemberelephant · 2020-02-04T03:05:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I used to do stupid things(that I would never do by myself) to please people around me but didn't know why... and this explains all.

Aurora_Borealiz · 2020-02-04T14:50:20+00:00

Trauma breeds more trauma. I was in pick me mode with my ex, who was pure poison. It’s been a year since I’ve been with him, and I’m still learning that normal conversations aren’t a luxury. I’ve been getting in my feelings over guys who treat me like a human and they’re literally just being decent people. I think back to before I met my ex and remember a confident and healthy young woman.

I’m getting better and loving myself more, thanks to this sub and other conscious life changes, but damn, I had no idea I’d still be shaking off things like “tip toe around conversations because male might get mad at me” one year later.

throwmeupandacross · 2020-02-04T13:05:34+00:00

A good book that helps you recognise and shut down these thought processes is "How to Break Your Addiction to a Person" by Howard Halpern. I ended up screenshotting so many passages from it.

Inez_Honeyfox · 2020-02-04T03:50:40+00:00

❤️🙌❤️

StillAwakeofCourse · 2020-02-04T08:33:35+00:00

So now we say, "the someone who loves me is ME"

2020-02-04T02:50:50+00:00

Awesome post

N2Gen · 2020-02-04T06:37:04+00:00

Long thought this. She put it more succinctly than I ever could have ❤️

gigababejfl · 2020-02-04T06:13:30+00:00

Whew!

I need to sit.

prettyexcitingnews · 2020-02-04T18:55:02+00:00

Let’s learn from the past and move forward. 🥰

cannedboelyn · 2020-02-04T13:22:15+00:00

😭

currypakora · 2020-02-04T15:24:34+00:00

How do you get over trama? I agree with the post, but how do you stop reliving it and obsessing over it? How do you stop being affected by it?

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