Ladies, we need to talk about how we, as women, have often categorized men as "safe" for us/our daughters/our friends to date. This is a supreme error in judgment.

See exhibit A: Gino from 90 Day Fiance. Watch the video at this link here.

(DISCLAIMER: I understand this show may be up to 100% scripted, and these actors may be very nice, decent people. Like a post about amovie, this post is for educational purposes only about what to avoid via FDS).

At first glance, Gino seemed like someone a pre-FDS woman would deem a "nice," "safe," "dorky" guy. He seemed lonely being in his 50s, divorced, and literally subsisting on TV dinners and chocolate milk. 🚩 he's the type of guy former "friends" (Pickmes and males) would try to guilt me into "giving a chance," or "don't take your Apprehension/lack of interest seriously, just don't think about it and go on the online date). I seriously get major ick vibes from him.

Our conflict with Gino happens when he starts dating Jasmine from Panama long-distance. First, we have an age gap: he is in his 50s and she is 34. 🚩 IIRC Gino admits she is out of his league at some point. 🚩Jasmine appears (IMO) controlling and abusive in some ways, and the audience is made to feel sorry for Gino. Gino is ready to impregnate her immediately, she holds off on telling him she is on birth control. 🚩 Gino also brought black market ED pills with him because he was worried about keeping up 🚩🚩🚩🤢

Before Gino and Jasmine meet for the first time, she wants to know where he is and what he is doing at all times (🚩for he) One episode, he "innocently" asked for his server's name when he picked up takeout with Jasmine on FaceTime. IMO it seemed like he was trying to trigger her insecurity, even though I 100% disagree with Jasmine yelling/micromanaging/abusing him/having the male stripper). 🚩

Where could this go wrong? Some of you may think "ok, he seems really milquetoast, with a high-pitched voice, terrible fashion, and maybe lacking T, but certainly he will treat this incredibly beautiful woman well!" In some ways, he did nice things for her, but seemingly LV and in a passive way (e.g. she picked a vacation on his dime).

Enter the video linked before. They were in a gorgeous paradise of an island, and she acknowledged to him he saw the worst of her personality. She gave him a chance to explain himself about why his ex was messaging her. And, he failed spectacularly. Look at how he lied and looked like a kicked puppy.

Digging further, he not only sent those intimate pictures of Jasmine to his ex, he was trying to "rub it in" about scoring someone so out of his league.

Miss me with that squeaky-voiced, "innocent" Mickey Mouse shit.

Lies are lies. With this behavior, Gino shared the same characteristics as outwardly abusive men: entitlement, manipulation, and a sense of seeing women as objects/trophies. Jasmine did not seem to he human to him. Yes, Jasmine displayed unhealthy/abusive behaviors that are not ok, but they seem to be rooted in trauma. She stated in the past men only wanted her for a night. I think she was cheated on too.

What can we learn from this? Obviously if this happens to you, it is a dealbreaker. Effeminate men can be LV/NV. Men who make you feel like you wish you didn't have a vagina anymore are not "safe" choices. If you feel "meh" to turned off having sex with a guy, it is a no.

Imagine settling for someone like this and be does exactly what the attractive fuckboy did. But you wasted your time trying to mold yourself to a man, with whom you had to force feelings for. You can date attractive men and not even have to deal with this nonsense.

I will never settle again. I don't like cheaters and abusers, and never again will I falsely equate "wholesome" "goofy" "innocent" looking men to "safety."

You may say, "ok, well no other woman will be pursuing him" but men like this, like Gino, buy sex/escort services according to the "leaked" conversation he had with his ex.

The takeaway: no type of man is a "safe" choice. Never settle.

ETA: Apparently the "ex" is actually Gino's previous sugar baby 🤢 yuck yuck yuck