Hi all

I’ve been reading this sub for a few weeks now and wanted to share one of my recent experiences that REALLY hit me. Please don’t judge, I have learnt my lesson!

So at the start of the year my 5 year relationship ended and I was a complete mess. I moved back home and basically spent the first 4 months just really really sad. I went on the odd date but didn’t kiss someone until June, so it was 6 months by then. That guy was a complete narc and I ended up getting sick of his shit and ghosted him.

After that I had a string of mediocre dates until v recently. I started talking to this guy on OLD and we clicked right away. Bearing in mind I haven’t dated in almost 6 years and I have basically forgotten how to handle dating situations.

We agreed to meet up and ended up staying out for 5 hours. I was so excited that I met someone I clicked with that I didn’t think about how I was going to end the night. He mentioned things we could do in the future and we were having really in depth conversations about families, politics everything. Also not to be rude but he was sweet and quite awkward, not someone I would have down as a player.

Anyway, about 11.30 I said I needed to catch my last train. He asked me to have one more drink, which I did. Can I just reiterate that we had both said via text we were looking for relationships or at least to start seeing someone. So I thought a one night stand wasn’t on the cards. I had not even prepared by body for one... oh lol.

Anyway after this last drink we get outside and I realise by this point I’m quite drunk and I suggest going home with him. I don’t know if he would have suggested it if I didn’t. I had drunk quite a bit but knew what I was doing.

I came away thinking he was really into me. But the next day, no ‘did you get home’ text, nothing. I send a short message the following day, he doesn’t even read it and it’s on grey ticks. So after a bit I sent him a polite message essentially saying that he’s making me feel as if I did something wrong, and it would be better if he just says that he’s not interested. He comes back saying he was sleeping and basically that he didn’t see a spark between us, and that he was sorry if he gave the wrong impression.

I have had a guy sleep with me and not want to take things further, that’s not it. And likewise I don’t always want a relationship with someone just because we are hooking up. What upsets me about this one is that I feel he tried to make me think there was some sort of spark, just to get laid. Then turns around and acts like I’m crazy and have completely misread the situation.

He didn’t have to suggest that one last drink, he could have let me go home. Even if he was honest with me ‘hey I can’t see this going anywhere but are you up for having some fun tonight?’ That would have been fine.

I know maybe that’s me being naive but honesty is the best policy and I wouldn’t feel half as shit as I do now if he’d been more up front.

I know I’m the idiot for sleeping with him but I just wanted to get it off my chest. And safe to say I will be way more cautions in future. It’s definitely made me realise more than ever that you have to be so so careful with people’s feelings.