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[–]engineergorlFDS Newbie 207 points208 points209 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
19k a year for 6 years is 114k. So assuming he’s been making the same salary and doing this for 6 years, he walks away with a 401k worth at least 114k, while she’s in the negative because she could have been contributing to her own retirement savings instead of doing 50/50.
[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple 131 points132 points133 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And you know he’s not even thinking of her in his future. The fact that he’s keeping it to himself for later says it all, aside from the other obv red flags
[–]Lavender_flowFDS STRATEGY COACH 60 points61 points62 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Of course he isn't, he already knows he is going to upgrade to a newer model once he is done taking advantage of her.
[–]catslovecheeseFDS Newbie 57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Like... dude, what. Putting away an extra 20k a year in savings while your girl struggles isn’t the equalizer you think it is 🤦🏻♀️
[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple 90 points91 points92 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Oh wow, he’s a sneaky bastard. I never even thought of that.
[–]whysoDinosaur3FDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What did they say?
[–]popsthrowsupFDS Newbie 38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Is not what they said it’s how they chose to “equalize” the money. Rather than say helping out with living expenses because of their increased dual income.
A 401k is retirement, so yea he doesn’t get to spend that money and he can’t just transfer it to him if he’s low on cash or wants to use it for something, but he’s effectively saving 20k a year while not contributing to the household.
This is then his retirement, sure he can leave her or any children as a beneficiary but he can also do whatever he wants with it (within tax law) and she won’t necessarily know anything or get to see that money.
rather than keeping the household income at 100k and figuring out bills, maybe he pays the house and she does all the utilities. He cut them off at the knee, made their usable income 80k (I’m assuming before taxes) and is now bitching about how poor they are and don’t have the money to do anything
Edit: income was 100 went to 80. I had 80 twice
[–]UmmmHiHelloFDS Newbie 68 points69 points70 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
[–]masterofthebarkartsFDS STRATEGY COACH 44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Guys like this are so selfish. And she's letting him get away with it.
This man is using this woman as a wage subsidy - guarantee he wouldn't be putting away this much towards retirement if she weren't picking up half the bills. Since they are not married, everything in that 401k will (likely) remain his should they split up.
She's getting a whiny selfish roommate and he's building wealth that he's hoping to never have to share.
[–]catlady4uFDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
She is better off divorcing him and getting spousal support.
[–]ububTkucFDS Newbie 47 points48 points49 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Except that she referred to him as a “partner”, not a “spouse”. Thus, she is truly up sh*t creek when he dumps her for another model!
[–]catlady4uFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yikes, then it's even more urgent that she remove herself from that situation! She has no recourse and setting herself up to get royally f*cked over by that scrote.
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Disciple 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep! This is why we don’t live with men we’re not married to. Perfect example of how women are taken advantage of. And I bet they are 50/50 on bills but not housework...
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]MadamLeFayFDS Apprentice 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
In my state, you are able to get 50% of his 401k earnings that were contributed during the marriage... I think you have to be married for about 6-8 years, I can't remember how long.
[–]masterofthebarkartsFDS STRATEGY COACH 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am pretty sure they aren't married, so in all likelihood anything in his name would remain his if they split up.
She's subsidizing his future at the expense of her present.
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wait. Wait. WHAT?
There’s a cap on how much you can put in your 401k.
You couldn’t put over 18,000 bucks in the 401k in 2015. It’s up to a 19.5k cap now.
Also a lot of employers match a percentage of your salary …. So if his does, he’s putting in even less of his net and still maxing out the 401k.
Also, if you’re married in a community property state, 50% of his 401k is yours starting at the date of the marriage. If not married, she’s just bankrolling him so he can bulk his retirement more easily.
Sounds like a gross chap.
[–]Emma_Lemma_108FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
6 years and no ring? Girl…he’s playing you.
[–]PainfulmenstruationFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow he’s using her to subsidize his retirement and then trying to squeeze more out of her for bills? What a jerk.
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[–]engineergorlFDS Newbie 207 points208 points209 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple 131 points132 points133 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Lavender_flowFDS STRATEGY COACH 60 points61 points62 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]catslovecheeseFDS Newbie 57 points58 points59 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple 90 points91 points92 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]whysoDinosaur3FDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]popsthrowsupFDS Newbie 38 points39 points40 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UmmmHiHelloFDS Newbie 68 points69 points70 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]masterofthebarkartsFDS STRATEGY COACH 44 points45 points46 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]catlady4uFDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]ububTkucFDS Newbie 47 points48 points49 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]catlady4uFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Disciple 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]MadamLeFayFDS Apprentice 17 points18 points19 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]masterofthebarkartsFDS STRATEGY COACH 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Emma_Lemma_108FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PainfulmenstruationFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link