I cringe whenever I browse the r/ niceguys subreddit and read a woman typing paragraphs to sugarcoat the fact that she is rejecting him. Virtually every single one had phrases like "you seem like a great guy, but..." or "I'd prefer we stay friends" etc.

Of course, these guys then go on some verbally abusive psycho rant, because they were never actually nice to begin with.

Ladies, STOP ASSUMING THAT A MAN IS A GOOD PERSON JUST BECAUSE HE IS MILD MANNERED.

It's like we've all been collectively duped into buying this niceguy false dichotomy where aplha/loud/obnoxious/rude = bad person, therefore beta/quiet/passive/polite = good person.

Not true at all, covert narcissists can be very passive, polite and "nice" at first, but they are no less damaging than a grandiose narcissist. (Arguably, covert narcs can be even worse, but that's a topic for another post)

Until you have thoroughly vetted a man, you simply do not know him enough to make any kind of judgement on what kind of person he is. Side note: This same logic also applies to cases where you've talked to a guy a handful of times and he "seems high value"

Right now, there are millions (if not billions) of shitty men walking around out there who genuinely believe that they're a good person.

They go, "every woman I have ever met said I was a nice guy but they still didn't give me a chance! Hmph, clearly women don't like nice men like me, they only like being treated like shit! Therefore I will treat women like shit, that'll get me laid!"

NO.

Just. No.

We need to stop positively reinforcing this type of behavior.

If a guy is hitting on you and you're not interested, just say "I'm not interested"

Don't try to soften the rejection with meaningless compliments.

Men already have overly inflated egos. By fluffing up their egos even more, you are doing a disservice to all women.

You don't need to give him an explanation either. You don't need to sugarcoat it. "No" is a complete sentence.

"But wait, I need to make my rejection sound nice or he will do violence against me!"

Oh, honey. No, you don't need to do that. Violent men are gonna be violent no matter what you do, stop deluding yourself into believing that if only you do X, Y, or Z differently then a guy won't be violent towards you. Just look at how these "niceguys" respond when rejected, even nicely. They still go absolutely crazy.

Be blunt when you reject a guy, at least then you will still have your integrity. Obviously be careful about the setting: don't reject him if you're a passenger in his car and he's driving, or when you're alone with him. But over text? Totally safe.

Also, when you give a "soft" rejection, often they do not perceive it as actual rejection. They see a "soft no" and think it means "convince me"

So stop letting men down "nicely"

Your rejection should be clear, concise, bold, and unambiguous.