The Pick Me mentality extends to elsewhere in your life, too.

jayohday · 2020-10-21T14:56:16+00:00

100% agree! I have realized some things about my job, since joining FDS.

cutsforluck · 2020-10-21T15:19:43+00:00

[deleted]

2020-10-21T15:47:09+00:00

[deleted]

LadyGrimes · 2020-10-21T16:11:17+00:00

Having standards doesn't mean you're controlling FFS. I am so sick of this mentality. Why some women think they deserve the bottom of the barrel is beyond me and it shows this is why self love is so important. If you value yourself then you'll make better choices, including who to let into your life and who to kick out.

Anne-Lister · 2020-10-21T16:22:33+00:00

So true. I got the FDS mentality with dating by my mid twenties, I'm still fighting my pickme instincts at work in my mid thirties. I guess I gave fewer shits about finding a man than building my career...

Xlunas · 2020-10-21T18:30:02+00:00

I heard from someone who had a business that women didn't complain about low wages as much as men.

textbasedpanda · 2020-10-21T21:22:55+00:00

I once attended a lecture where a professional graphic artist advised that freelancers should "charge top dollar" for their effort. He said even noobs should charge market rate because the client equates paying more $$$ with getting better quality artwork.

GreatRedYonder · 2020-10-21T23:02:39+00:00

This for me was one of the most painful realisations that came from reading FDS.

I've been an all around doormat for years.

Gambit12345 · 2020-10-22T05:33:53+00:00

When I graduated from dental and got my first job, I was very insecure about my abilities. It was my first real job ever and unfortunately I didn’t know but I was entering an extremely toxic work environment. I was super taken advantage of. They paired me with the slowest assistant, and would purposely cram my schedule. My assistants would often disappear right when I was starting a procedure. I was constantly told to say something. I’m not one to stir conflict at work, I literally go to make money and leave. But they continued to bombard me with patients. I was always worried about speaking up and felt I needed to establish myself first before starting to raise my concerns. I was just paranoid about being fired for some reason. Even the times I’d say something about capping patients Nothing would come of it. Still end up being overworked. I’ve worked at this place for over 2 years and over time as I’ve become more comfortable I’ve learned to pick my battles. Most recently my director/coworker expressed wanting to ramp up procedures. Dentistry has a super high risk of covid infection. Even with n95s and filters it doesn’t seem safe to me. where I am, cases are rising rapidly. My director threw me under the bus to my front desk and supervisor calling me “overly concerned” about covid, which she never said directly to me. my coworker texted me about since I wasn’t in the office to hear it. In the past I might’ve just said yea sure let’s ramp up high risk procedures because you said so. But now I’m like na. I’m contractually bound to this job and the benefits are just too good. Until I find a job whose benefits match or exceed I’m probably going to stay. But the pick me mentality definitely stemmed from lack of confidence for me in the workplace.

2020-10-22T14:37:57+00:00

[deleted]

Silverpool2018 · 2020-10-22T18:37:32+00:00

Whenever I find myself second guessing my abilities, or doing mental gymnastics to see the situation as favorable/helpful for me (when objectively it's not) - I always remeber what men do in similar situations. Men abosultely do not put up with shit that wastes their time, effort, emotions (if used) and money. They'll nip it in the bud in no time, no apologies or questions asked, and back up pretty fast.

It is one of the traits women can adpat and implement - however, we have been conditioned to keep on giving the benefit of doubt and to keep playing nice in the name of grace and decency. Nice for what?

About time women unlearn this pick-me conditioning society imposes on them since they are like 5 years old. Stop being nice and acting grateful for crumbs. Either take the fucking cake, or kick it to the curb.

Surprise-Turbulent · 2020-10-22T21:40:01+00:00

We accept what we think we deserve

Title	The Pick Me mentality extends to elsewhere in your life, too.
Author	lidglue
Upvotes	253
Comments	25
Date	October 21, 2020 6:35 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jf7qqe/the_pick_me_mentality_extends_to_elsewhere_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-pick-me-mentality-extends-to-elsewhere-in-your.319980 https://theredarchive.com/post/319980

Comments