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[–]daisyinflux 215 points216 points217 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I just want to switch this up because being alone isn’t worse than indentured servitude. 😂
[–]disillusionedidealsFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'd rather be alone than be trapped in a miserable and dysfunctional relationship. When it comes down the brutal truth, we are and will be alone. If you don't take care of yourself, no one else will.
[–]Unfit_NeedleworkerFDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What I came to say
[–]Lady__stoneheartFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Being alone is the worst when you're a pick me... All the efforts and time wasted and no self respect left either
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Very true. But many women see it the other way around
[–]vmuzondi 152 points153 points154 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Honestly. I think it’s so hard to get out of the pickme mindset because those women eventually do get picked...but by the worst men. Healthy men run and let them down soft and then the avoidants who aren’t abusive ghost or breadcrumb them. The ones who pick them are the abusive types who love having someone to constantly validate their existence.
The girls who have been picked have boyfriends with skidmarks in their underwear and have never properly taken care of themselves in their lives. They’re also the ones who get mad and nitpick at women with HVM boyfriends that dote on them by telling everyone they’re not “materialistic” so they don’t need thoughtful gifts or gestures.
[–]giftofnocondemnation 130 points131 points132 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Being murdered by a raging narc man is the worse case scenario. Also being a shadow of your former self, being miserable in a constant state of cognitive dissonance because of the gaslighting narc
[–]LevelTurbulent 56 points57 points58 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep, cognitive dissonance is a total nightmare. Much, much better to be alone. And of course better to be alone than me murdered.
[–]LevelTurbulent 73 points74 points75 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's true but I think it's reversed. Ending up alone after doing all that is better. That's the best case scenario for that.
I got dumped after 20 years of marriage. It sucks and it hurts but if he had kept lying and kept me in the dark, I'd still be stuck in that. That's a horrifying thought. I'm 40 and basically having to start over but it's better than being a servant for longer or having to go through this at 60, god forbid.
[–]namharsFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Congratulations to you for getting out. You have remarkable strength and your life is only going to get better. Wishing you the best and lots of love!
[–]sstenaFDS Apprentice 57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Worst case you end up getting yourself or your children killed. Ending up alone is far from the worst.
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Settling for a nvm is the worst thing a woman can do. They ruin your life in so many ways. Emotional, physical, financial and so on.
[–]melonmagellanFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And get called names, degraded, and sexually coherced to top it all off.
[–]dutchie19FDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My entire marriage was indentured servitude to a man with untreated ADD. Cooking, Cleaning, Laundry, actual job, 3 kids. Even cleaned up his cum soaked socks because he watched porn and got off BEFORE I could even get home from work, at midnight. I can't believe I fought for that. 15 years before I couldn't handle it any more. Be careful what you wish for, and what you enable to happen.
[–]nohumanFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow so sorry this happened to you. And glad you got out! All of you who got kids with lvm are so strong. I couldn't imagine doing all this work. And you HAVE to do it because no one will help specially the "partner".. seriously I have never seen a man who is a good parent or father. But I'm happy when I see liberated sisters. We have it all when they don't disturb us.
[–]lakerz_girlAt-Risk Pick Me Youth 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks to our childhood for this pick-me shit we are left with smh! But i'm committed to doing ALL the work so I can be fulfilled inside-out with myself and pick the right person for me. Thank you for this reminder!
[–]Unfit_NeedleworkerFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, it’s so sad when you grow up around so much of the bs. You live your life thinking this is all there is... until you get out and find new people.
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh. I feel like worst case scenario is that a lifetime of stress of being with an LVM or NVM will cause the body to be in a constant state of stress, causing the immune system to go into hyper overdrive and you’ll end up with MS or cancer or ALS... the list of risks is long.
[–]lonechroniclerFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'd switch the worst and best scenarios too.
[–]elementalvirago 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Louder for the people in the back!
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[–]daisyinflux 215 points216 points217 points
(5 children) | Copy Link
[–]disillusionedidealsFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unfit_NeedleworkerFDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lady__stoneheartFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]vmuzondi 152 points153 points154 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]giftofnocondemnation 130 points131 points132 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]LevelTurbulent 56 points57 points58 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LevelTurbulent 73 points74 points75 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]namharsFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sstenaFDS Apprentice 57 points58 points59 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]melonmagellanFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dutchie19FDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]nohumanFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lakerz_girlAt-Risk Pick Me Youth 9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Unfit_NeedleworkerFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lonechroniclerFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]elementalvirago 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link