To you, it was just casual

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-06-23T14:52:14+00:00

This is why I stopped putting effort in.

Back in freshman year of college I had a guy look deep into my eyes and say that I looked so beautiful despite “not wearing any makeup”. I was wearing a full face of makeup.

I feel just as confident wearing mascara and jean shorts as I do wearing a full face of makeup and a new outfit I just bought. Why go through all the trouble for guys when they can’t even tell the difference?

outside-perception · 2020-06-23T14:32:24+00:00

I'd usually throw on a casual dress, leave my long hair in a braid or put on a headband/flower/hair clip and MAYBE AT MOST slap on some mascara. I saw too many beautiful friends of mine get shattered and never get treated right when they looked top model gorgeous.

Most of them saw how little effort I put in and how much attention that still brought and they'd do the same. It saved them a lot of time, effort, money and heartbreak. The only time they'd step up to that level was for a man who proved himself worthy of that extent of investment.

Edit: the extra let down is when they'd be ready, fresh and smelling good and he'd show up in a three day old outfit with some Lynx/Axe sprayed overtop to mask the smell lmao.

Coder-Cat · 2020-06-23T15:34:14+00:00

Just casual for women means we still have to:

Remove most, if not all of our body hair from the neck down (including those black hairs around the nips).

Shower using special shampoo, conditioner and exfoliating face wash.

Moisturize our whole body.

Special moisturizer for the face and eyes.

Fuck with our eyebrows.

Bleach the stach.

Remove stray chin hairs.

Touch up the nails.

Minimal makeup? Whatever that means. A good mascara and lipgloss still sets you back 30-40$.

Hair- it doesn’t matter if it’s long or short, curly or straight we’re gonna take the time to make sure it looks nice. I have short straight hair and at minimum I have to blow dry it or use a straightener to get rid of the random wave and flip in the back.

Let’s not forget the hair dye if that’s something you do.

Casual dress? Lol. The options are heals or flats we can’t wear socks with. Maybe tennis shoes that you’ve got to make sure the white soles don’t have scuff marks. NOTHING will be frayed or stained or have holes and everything will fit perfectly, and flatter our skin tone and body shape.

Brush our teeth, use a lint roller, spray some spritz and we’re out the door.

I can’t tell you how many “casual” dates I’ve been on where the guy showed up on frayed jeans, an old graphic t and dirty finger nails.

jeanneeebeanneee · 2020-06-23T16:14:22+00:00

LOL, as if men care that we make all that effort and think of it as more than casual. If anything, they feel 100% entitled to our efforts.

atreethatkeepsgrowin · 2020-06-23T17:44:51+00:00

Sucks to go through this for the guy to cancel at the last minute and it happens so often. I feel like I have to chose between having the life that I want which includes caring about people, putting effort into my friendships, wanting the men in my life to feel special, etc and actually interacting with men, who always ruin the fun of the date by being so low effort and cold.

HottPinkSlug · 2020-06-23T16:25:48+00:00

I dated a guy who made really good money and put in a lot of effort to look professional and successful for work. Custom shirts and suits, manicured hands, hair cuts and shaves at the club. But when I'd go over there or we would meet for dates he'd be in shorts and an undershirt. Or sweats and a golf visor. It was so disappointing to know he'd make an effort for certain things but not me. "Casual"

43rdaccount · 2020-06-23T16:40:29+00:00

ofc i totally agree with the disconnect between our efforts and men's, not only in appearances but in all aspects of dating. but i think it'd be too easy for scrotes to use this video and argue that it's not their fault "women are crazy/doing too much!! when i say casual i mean it, not my fault they wanna look perfect"

we all know they dont actually want us to lower our efforts at all, their egos love how the world is tailored to their whims and fantasies. i wish she landed on a different conclusion at the end, and made it sound less tragic, like dont put up with less, it sets a tone for the relationship, or allow the man to show how much he cares in other ways (paying, planning the date, gifts...) this imbalance means we should expect more!

Chantelmorris345 · 2020-06-23T21:00:54+00:00

We go through all this and men STILL complain about paying for dates like bruh you don’t even know half of the time,and effort it takes to achieve this look. Why i will NEVER go 50/50 with a man.

2020-06-23T18:06:47+00:00

Bonus points if you do all this, get there, and he shows up 17 minutes late without brushing his teeth

whatsnotclickingg · 2020-06-23T18:24:07+00:00

This is why I don’t dress-up and put on more than lower-lash mascara and lipgloss. I also don’t really bother to shave the little black stubbles that might be poppping up

devoushka · 2020-06-23T18:16:56+00:00

I already put effort into my appearance so there's not much extra to do for a date. The most I do is stop home to shower and then touch up my makeup afterwards since it comes off in the shower. If you aren't in the habit of shaving, moisturizing, blowdrying your hair etc then it's pointless to do all that for a date since you're not representing the real you.

Title	To you, it was just casual
Author	simply4nothing
Upvotes	145
Comments	34
Date	June 23, 2020 2:07 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hef8kp/to_you_it_was_just_casual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/to-you-it-was-just-casual.700800 https://theredarchive.com/post/700800

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