What to do when you feel physically lonely?

thewetdog_ · 2020-01-15T15:32:57+00:00

I think these feelings are valid, and I can’t come up with a perfect substitute for physical intimacy with a partner. That being said, I think two things could help:

1) explore and cultivate physical affection with people that love you. When’s the last time you have your best girlfriend a good hug? I live in a different city from my hometown and I go see my very close friends there and we say “hi” and “bye” with these longass embraces lol. Same with your parents? I’m sure your mom and dad will be thrilled if you just cuddled up to them on the couch one day. Do you have nieces/nephews or younger siblings? I find it very calming to cuddle and comfort a young child to sleep for example because you also can’t fidget around on your phone or they won’t go to sleep! Don’t worry they do all the work :) what I’m saying is, there is a lot more to physical affection than sexual or romantic, and it’s healthy for us to embrace these.

2) explore and embrace being physically affectionate with yourself. Take care of your body, exercise, eat right, lotion up, wear soft pajamas, stretch, get a massage, give yourself a massage, anything where you mindfully tend to yourself. If you get into the habit of doing this consciously as an act of self care, the relationship with yo ur body will become far more self aware and improve a lot your feelings of comfort and self esteem.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-01-15T17:27:18+00:00

Casual sex would make it even worse. Instead of just feeling lonely, someone else is making you feel lonely the minute they leave and never contact you again or only want to contact you again or see you again on their terms.

I just let the feelings pass.

goatismycopilot · 2020-01-15T15:29:17+00:00

My dog likes to snuggle at night.

nanofarm · 2020-01-15T17:30:06+00:00

Seconding the advice to give yourself loving physical touch- in the context of self care/pampering but also incorporate loving touch in to your masterbation (you have your face, stroke your thighs, take your time with the buildup so it’s more satisfying). Then get a weighted blanket and/or an electric blanket. Then you can take yourself out for a nice dinner, have a bubble bath and a long pampering session, get some silky jammies or enjoy being nude, spend time on pleasuring yourself, then curl up under a warm blanket 💜

penelopekitty · 2020-01-15T16:13:37+00:00

I exercise a lot so my body is tired. When I need a snuggle my dogs are terrific.

janeaustenfan99 · 2020-01-15T18:05:27+00:00

I put a bunch of pillows in my bed. Then I wrap up in my blanket from head to toe. It feels almost like cuddling.

Lakersrock111 · 2020-01-15T15:30:39+00:00

Or flick the ole bean?

riseaboveagain · 2020-01-15T19:00:02+00:00

Take a martial arts class, we are constantly physical and wrestling each other. Plus, people who are into martial arts are generally pretty nice.

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-01-15T22:45:29+00:00

As Deb would say "draw your hand back..."

Not sure if you ever watched Good Times (a 70s sitcom) but there was an episode when the female lead kept trying to set up the flashy divorced best friend in her 40s with a date. The flashy friend notices and says she's just fine being single and even though she's alone she's not lonely.

Girl just get yourself some hobbies or even a library card since it's free and read more. Revel in your independence.

As for sex, it's better 9x/10 by yourself and I enjoy NOT having sex out of obligation. Wait till the next holiday and get you a hitachi wand or something. You can take as long as you want and always finish.

woiashenseea · 2020-01-16T03:57:30+00:00

Legit lay one of your own arms across yourself and see if that doesnt prompt a deep breath of relief

People dont think it works because they dont try it, because they dont think it will work

Hug yourself I'm not even joking

edie_carm · 2020-01-16T00:43:17+00:00

get a massage or a haircut or some other health/beauty treatment where the professional physically touches you

weighted blanket

a trusted female friend who would be willing to platonically cuddle and watch movies or something

Haltthemoon · 2020-01-16T02:47:20+00:00

Get a pet. Seriously. My dog saved my life.

mountainwitch6 · 2020-01-16T00:34:36+00:00

Get a cuddly cat or dog haha

Title	What to do when you feel physically lonely?
Author	chickenpork72
Upvotes	29
Comments	25
Date	January 15, 2020 3:22 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ep3mbt/what_to_do_when_you_feel_physically_lonely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-to-do-when-you-feel-physically-lonely.684778 https://theredarchive.com/post/684778

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