What would be a healthy response?

diamond_pie · 2021-03-21T02:56:24+00:00

My ex was amazing to be with, in regards to material things (I.e money and taking me to nice restaurants etc) and time but if I ever went through something emotional he would struggle to be there for me the way I needed. He couldn’t connect with his emotions. I remember him saying he never cries and doesn’t remember the last time he did. He also said most guys don’t cry. I’m starting to see that this is a big red flag and there must be some truth to this. I don’t agree with sending the first message though, but the principle whilst vetting could be useful

bizzybumblebee · 2021-03-21T03:03:14+00:00

nah sis don't be messaging first

eta: just saw your comment. you acknowledge this

2021-03-21T03:42:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

pickadaisy · 2021-03-21T03:04:03+00:00

Oh wow. This makes a ton of sense. I’m going to use that question if I’m on a date.

Meccha_me_2 · 2021-03-21T04:39:36+00:00

I might get downvoted to hell for this but does anyone else think that’s too invasive for a first conversation or first date? Purely curious. I wouldn’t answer that question simply because I wouldn’t want to talk about a sad or emotional time in my life with a complete stranger. I would also assume the person asking had poor boundaries or bad social skills.

I would definitely ask this on a 5th date or later though.

Edit: not to mention, they’re just going to turn the question back on you and this is not the type of question a HVW should answer on a first meeting/first date

Only_Lime2520 · 2021-03-21T04:09:48+00:00

Scrotes shapeshift and adapt to these kinds of interviews. The ONLY vetting strategy work so far is stay happy with my life, BLOCK and walk if something smells suspicious 🤨

TERFSareawesome · 2021-03-21T04:53:39+00:00

I think this is bad advice. The most toxic scrotes will be able to handle this no problem and will probably even lie and say something like "I watched a documentary about Ruth Bader Ginsburg and I cried at her bravery" or something. The gaslight faux-feminist scrotes are the absolute most dangerous IMO and they would be able to answer this with ease.

Some people, male or female, are less emotional than others. Like I cry frequently because I'm sensitive but I have family members who hardly ever cry. My answer would probably be something stupid like a commercial I saw because I can truly cry at the drop of a hat- I'll cry when I'm happy or sad. But I dont think that makes me more evolved or anything, it's just a different aspect of personality

chateauduchat · 2021-03-21T04:30:30+00:00

One rare time, my HVM bf and I gotten in a heated discussion that we both were quite unaware of how we were coming across. Immediately as he recognized how personal the matter of the topic was to my experiences and I how did not appreciate how he was approaching it with sensitivity as he usually does, he immediately stopped and sincerely apologized profusely, and even broke down because he thought he was mistreating me.

This man is very emotionally available for me, as well as being very stable and levelheaded. I’ve had a string of awful, and downright insanely abusive relationships, so I was incredibly on guard and learned how to vet, thanks to FDS. I was wary and took my time to get to know my current bf.

Watch out for crocodile tears from narcs, as well as lovebombing. My last abusive ex was a narc and would use it as a tactic for sympathy. Beware of men who use it to garner fake sympathy points as well, especially the “woke feminist man”. Never stop vetting.

coldfoot23 · 2021-03-21T04:53:38+00:00

Lmao idc if a man cries, what’s his tears got to do with treating me right? I understand the sentiment of being in touch with his emotions but men will use that shit to manipulate you. Fuck men’s emotions.

Title	What would be a healthy response?
Author	diamond_pie
Upvotes	38
Comments	15
Date	March 21, 2021 2:56 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m9ms8j/what_would_be_a_healthy_response/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-would-be-a-healthy-response.1190161 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190161

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