Is it just me or have men suddenly discovered that saying they are good listeners makes them more endearing to women? All of us, at some point, have ended up ranting about a date who kept going on about himself. So all the shy men decided that the best way to excuse away their lack of conversation skills, while one-upping the narcissists, is to use the "good listener" label for themselves.

Of course, once you actually have a non-text based conversation with them, you realize how duplicitous they can be. Ladies, when a man tells me he is a good listener, one or more of the following is usually true:

- He is painfully shy and to disguise his social anxiety he pretends to be less of a talker and more of a listener.

- He is a terrible conversationalist and has nothing to add to any interaction.

- He leads a very boring life.

- He isn't interested in revealing anything about himself. All he wants is to charm you enough to sleep with you.

- He might be listening to what you are saying, but he is not participating in the conversation. He will not ask you any questions and he will show zero interest in what you are actually saying.

I have learnt to read this label as an orange flag now. If he has to tell me he is a good listener, there must be more to it than meets the eye.