When did your love bomber do his first pull away?

MuffinSongs · 2020-08-16T05:24:20+00:00

Here’s the strategy: when they pull away, I pull away ten times worse. If I never hear from them, it’s whatever! And if I do, they quickly learn that that crap doesn’t fly here.

As far as timelines, they all work on different schedules. I’ve had three weeks and up to four months.

No timeline that they actually work with is anything where I personally would be so invested that I would tolerate their BS. That’s why we hold back. Don’t get comfortable before 6 months to a year.

Even still... be independent. Know your worth. Walk away. Even in marriage be ready to walk. Make sure they know it too.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-08-16T03:11:22+00:00

I noticed with my ex fiancé after 6 months. He behaved bad in a fight. We had a talk about it, he cleaned up his act. Looking back there were red flags all over the place, but tiny and I didn’t notice because I had normalised some (emotionally) abusive behaviours.

Hindsight is 20/20 but with some others it was he first 10 minutes. My family, friends and/or the guy always won me over when I was having doubts about continuing. Sometimes, when he looked really good on paper I would even gaslight myself.

Edit: I had a year long relationship with the guy with the red flag in the first 10 minutes. He was a diagnosed narcissist (but not in a malignant way), lovebombed the fck out of me and was really successful. Because he was my perfect fit at that moment in time I went with it. Our relationship wasn’t even that bad and when he started to get more on my nerves I dumped him.

Most guys I dated were guys that I heavily disliked when I met them. My gut always knows. Don’t be a “extremely logical” person like me.

ChristianGirl93 · 2020-08-16T01:51:49+00:00

For OLD love bombing, it would happen after February or near March whether it was 3 months or 5 months in, they just noped out

IslandVoodoo · 2020-08-16T01:21:16+00:00

He pulled away after three months, and this was before I found FDS. He told me I would never return the affection he gave me. In reality, I had a bad gut feeling about him. He was also always pressuring me to have sex with him. I’m truly glad I didn’t.

eveninghope · 2020-08-16T03:33:15+00:00

Omfg? Are you in my head? This is literally happening in my life as we speak. So glad to have FDS to keep my head straight.

paperbagskirt · 2020-08-16T01:22:37+00:00

Very interesting. I noticed it starting at 4 weeks if I can remember correctly.

PretzeIs · 2020-08-16T02:00:17+00:00

Hey what signs did you notice of them being a love bomber

willowgrowingroots · 2020-08-16T09:31:11+00:00

Love bombed me for over a year! But he did dropped the biggest red flag in the 6 mont h mark.

hikurangi2019 · 2020-08-16T11:01:23+00:00

For me it was about 3 months then he pulled a 180, it wasn’t even a slow decline. It was like talking to a different person, emotionally distant stranger. I don’t use this word very often but it was terrifying. He spoke to his friends the same way but with me it was cold and distant.

not_a_paper_pusher · 2020-08-16T05:09:35+00:00

Told me I’m the love of his life, soulmate, blah blah blah every single day for 6 weeks. Says all that same stuff to me in the afternoon and that night dumps me. They are legitimately mentally ill in my opinion.

Pahapan · 2020-08-16T06:49:57+00:00

He never faded out. His love bombing slowly transitioned into controlling behavior. Kept sending goodnight/good morning texts, wyd? texts, etc.

dimpledoll13 · 2020-08-16T02:28:10+00:00

Some are as bad as two weeks but 4 weeks seems about right. I blame porn. They can't pretend to care longer than that because their brains are rewired from receiving so much immediate gratificación.

2020-08-16T03:34:54+00:00

1 week

notbasic4karen · 2020-08-16T06:43:13+00:00

In my experience usually around the 3 month mark

a_throwawayy_ · 2020-08-16T09:59:52+00:00

3 weeks. before that it was, "I love you unconditionally, you're my soulmate" blah blah. Wrote me poems, sent me love songs. Then after 3 weeks it was all gone, didn't even say "I love you" to me. Good thing I dumped that POS.

2020-08-16T09:51:10+00:00

This dude told me he loved me unconditionally and a week later broke up w me without any explanation and had no intention of ever contacting me again when I asked him. His reasoning was "you deadded me on everything so I gave you space". We dated for a year.

claudia6499 · 2020-08-16T03:12:22+00:00

As soon as I showed I had boundaries and called out manipulative behavior, poof the next day! It lasted around 3 weeks. We even had plans and I never heard from him ever lol. Still see him around unfortunately 🤯

lhatw · 2020-08-17T13:10:01+00:00

6 months into the relationship lol

Title	When did your love bomber do his first pull away?
Author	RiteWriter
Upvotes	25
Comments	31
Date	August 15, 2020 11:52 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iai82g/when_did_your_love_bomber_do_his_first_pull_away/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-did-your-love-bomber-do-his-first-pull-away.68244 https://theredarchive.com/post/68244

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