Why is financial independence frowned upon?

Breesasha · 2020-12-27T23:04:28+00:00

It's going to be hard to convince people who are not HVW or not living by the FDS principles that you need to be financially independent. In the past, I've tried to tell my female friends that I like having my own money and I push myself hard in my career (moving up the career ladder, taking on extra projects, pursuing additional continuing education, etc) to be able to be financially independent. I have lived alone in various apartments to the past 5 years, I'm actively saving for a house, and I'm not getting support. I've had women tell me that I need to invest more time in my appearance and dating so I can hurry up and get married because I'm almost 30...I've stopped telling my plans to anyone who isn't already a HVW or shown that they're on the same mindset as me

KittenyCat5 · 2020-12-27T23:10:42+00:00

A lot of the negative commentary you are getting, even from friends relating to your financial independence probably has more to do with their insecurities. They probably could never imagine owing a home, independently, in their twenties. Your goals and vision probably scare them and instead of inspiring and hoping for more for themselves, discussing resources about financial independence, investments, etc. it is easier to put you and your goals down vs. confronting their own mentality. I urge you to reconsider friendships with people that do not support you, supporting and encouraging your goals and values, to me is one in the same as supporting you as a human. I used to share a lot about myself with a lot of people, but the reality is most commentary from most people is like white noise at best, and can lead you to question your values and goals, derailing your vision, in most cases .

justnoanony · 2020-12-27T23:16:13+00:00

Have you ever read The Women’s Room? One of its strongest messages is - don’t ever be financially dependant on a man.

2020-12-27T23:20:47+00:00

It's the crab bucket mentality. If you're in a bad place, and most of the people you know are, it's hard to be happy for someone who is far ahead of you financially/career wise etc. Because it forces you to look at your own situation and the truth will cause a cognitive dissonance. So they justify it by saying they don't "want" that stuff for themselves anyway.

I'm far from being financially independent, but I have several friends who own their own homes and nobody bats an eye, we are all encouraging of it. Surround yourself with people who have a similar standard. You don't have to straight up ditch these people, but start making friends on your wavelength.

CorruptSoulGem · 2020-12-27T23:04:22+00:00

Financial independence isn’t frowned upon, and if it is its normally done by people who benefit from being able to leverage money over you.

Mcccy · 2020-12-27T23:33:36+00:00

Are you me? Those were exactly my teen years. I got my place last year, a lovely 5 room house with a fireplace I wanted since I was 15.

Please remember that the only ones who DON'T want you to be financially independent are those who want to use you. When I bought my house my best friends threw me a party. My ex, my brother and my father said it was "A waste of money" ( Cause whose money are they going to steal and 'lend" If IM gone?)

Buy your place sis. It's the most important investment you can do and there's no need to apologize or exsuse the fact you want financial independence to anyone!

gingerwabisabi · 2020-12-28T00:01:54+00:00

Congrats! You will find that as you move up in life and achieve more and more goals that people will try to hold you back and even sabotage you. It's very frustrating, especially when you want to HELP people by talking about it, but my best advice is not to talk much, never justify what you are achieving, and only give advice very sparingly to those who seem appreciative. Subs like r/financialindependence and blogs by financial queens will give you the inspiration and companionship you need for this part of life.

Maude2010 · 2020-12-28T00:50:40+00:00

I think your friends are extremely naive. What happens if their boyfriends decide they’re done? Aren’t they worried about ending up homeless?

redbirdflies · 2020-12-28T01:30:39+00:00

It’s because the patriarchy has ingrained the idea within society that women should fall in line with what benefits men most. And what benefits men most is weak, financially dependent women who settle for low value men

Example-Opposite · 2020-12-28T00:18:00+00:00

Stay financially independent, it’s truly an amazing and freeing thing! You’ll be able to do things that your friends will likely never be able to achieve in their lifetimes! 🤑

2020-12-28T00:55:08+00:00

[deleted]

lival42 · 2020-12-28T01:19:09+00:00

There are no downsides. Buy your own place.

boredbitch2020 · 2020-12-28T00:12:04+00:00

Yes they're insecure

SpringJonesOcean · 2020-12-28T02:24:16+00:00

Your instincts are correct. You're smart and they are probably jealous at your determination. Find new friends.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2020-12-28T14:14:53+00:00

I’m sorry, I had to stop reading. Where the fuck do you live?

Buying my own home at 24 is my BIGGEST point of pride. I’m so so proud of myself for doing that. Even now most people I know don’t own their own home. I live thousands of miles away now and rent out my house - and guess what! I have rental income. I literally have other people paying my mortgage.

But I live in a place where no one gets married at 24. And my mom was very encouraging. We grew up super poor and I was the youngest person to purchase a home in my family.

Don’t listen to anyone saying it’s a bad decision. I’ve even seen residents talking about how “buying a home is only good if you plan on living in it for 5 years”. Bull fucking shit. Rent that fucker out. The rent I pay out of my own pocket is 1/4 what it’d be if I didn’t own a home.

If you’re in the US get at least a 2 bedroom 2 bath. 3 bed 2 bath is better.

Do it! You won’t regret it!

LiquidxDreams · 2020-12-28T21:13:17+00:00

Financial independence is everything. There's nothing like having the freedom to do what you need and want without relying on others. I really have no support system but my mom so if she can't help it's all me. There's something comforting about knowing that you'll be ok because you have your own back.

Breesasha · 2020-12-28T19:19:03+00:00

Yes, that is true. I am trying to improve my wardrobe so that is does have quality pieces that are flattering. But I'm doing that for me.

Title	Why is financial independence frowned upon?
Author	No-Rest-2295
Upvotes	115
Comments	47
Date	December 27, 2020 2:36 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kl4mzu/why_is_financial_independence_frowned_upon/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-is-financial-independence-frowned-upon.410428 https://theredarchive.com/post/410428

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