She took everything..

Teflon0819 · 2016-04-20T22:07:05+00:00

The laws really need to catch up to these "strong independent women" because lifelong alimony is literally the antithesis to being strong and independent.

I suggest you save up enough money and then expatriate at some point in the future. I'd happily renounce my U.S. citizenship and go ghost in another country if I was forced to pay lifelong alimony.

Granted with kids that would be a tough decision.

weallgonnamakeitbra · 2016-04-20T21:35:42+00:00

i logged into a old throwaway account just to comment.

words cannot express how sorry i am. you are an anesthesiologist, so i'm guessing you're at around the top 1-5% of human intelligence. you are literally and objectively one of the smartest and hardworking humans alive, who just wanted to support a family under fair laws, and you got royally fucked over.

i'm a 25-30 years old and living in the los angeles area as well. i'm not as smart as a doctor, but i'm not dumb either. growing up as the youngest of the household, i was given the gift of being able to learn from the mistakes of my older siblings. i am grateful for them and for you. being 47 years old means you didn't have access to all the taboo internet reading i grew up with. i can't imagine what its like to lose everything you built.

years ago, i decided to never marry for the reasons you listed above. thank you for the contribution to this community and pm me if you need to chat or anything.

edit add: society has become increasingly efficient at punishing intelligent hardworking men. every time it happens, society literally becomes less productive. it's so sad to see this happen over and over.

elevul · 2016-04-20T22:06:10+00:00

Your work skillset is incredibly valuable anywhere in the world, so you do have the option to emigrate to not pay the alimony.

icyhot39 · 2016-04-20T21:57:32+00:00

Here's the thing... it isn't really that (or just that) "the laws" and/or "the courts" are unfair.

It's also quite frankly -- to be brutally blunt -- that your ex-wife is a complete and totally selfish CUNT, one who apparently took not only the house, but extreme pleasure in fucking you over (and how!)

--

And that's not "anger phase" or "hating women"... it's a simple FACT.

howard333 · 2016-04-20T23:40:07+00:00

[deleted]

RowdyBusch · 2016-04-20T23:05:24+00:00

Dead people don't receive alimony.

MuscleCarz · 2016-04-21T00:42:45+00:00

Welcome Brother. Very sorry to hear of your pretty horrible situation.

I'm hoping you'll get through this both psychologically, physically and spiritually.

My career (I'm considered a professional in my field) takes a shit-load out of me and has caused me to evaluate and delegate my time and energy very carefully. Having tried the marriage game and dating (I preferred longer-term monogamous relationships as dating more than one woman would probably make my head explode).

Anyhow, what really helped me focus after divorce was:

(1.) Downsizing, i.e., living well below my means...getting rid of a lot of the crap I really didn't need and renting a small, yet safe and comfortable place. This alone, has helped me to save and invest so I'll be able to retire in about four years.

(2.) Physical health. Made a pact with myself to take care of my body by exercising two to three times p/week. Nothing crazy, just warm up on a stair master then strength training, i.e., pushing weights to failure. Note: even though I exercise, I'll admit my diet is crap, i.e., I eat a lot of "prepared" stuff I can just heat up, but the exercise seems to help utilize what I do eat.

(3.) Psychological health. I read, read, read and watch vids by Stardusk, Barbarrossaa and others, which helps me to stay focused on the reality of relationships and coping with living in the head-in-the-sand society were in.

I don't hate women, I just abhore their horrible behavior. I've read enough studies, statistics, info., and have been cheated on, deceived and pretty much screwed over enough times to realize-most of these creatures are just children, who--with RARE exception--are pretty much devoid of a foundation of self-efficacy, which IMO is critical to developing real self-confidence, self-esteem and ultimately an inner capacity for eliciting real, consistent happiness from even the simplest of things.

Make no mistake, they get fleeting "injections" of euphoria and/or excitement when they get that College degree, Mercedes, trip to Tahiti, etc., but will quickly revert right back to her inner-baseline of unfulfillment and discontent. Have you noticed no matter what she acquires, takes and or obtains, it's never enough? How, it's always the "next thing" that's "going to make here happy" and on and on? Yet, we men, can get home from work, heat up some food and watch a ball game and be completely happy (because we know deep-down we deserve it)--while she looks at us through a lense of resentful jealousy? "How can he sit there and be so happy like that?" She has no Idea, and sadly, never will.

A creature incapable of understanding where real happiness comes from (self-efficacy and hard work WITHOUT unneeded, unnecessary and ultimately, unhealthy preferential treatment and favoritism) will never be satisfied, and manipulate use others like utilities to be cast aside (conscious or not) chasing happiness that never arrives.

IMO, society, (especially over the last 6 decades) when it comes to women, has implemented the "perfect formula" for creating a creature, who by adulthood, is riddled with irretractable learned helplessness, entitlement mentality, insecurity, neediness, and a chronic ability to throw down the victim card at every turn.

I truly hope you are able to develop a healthy, empowering PLAN FOR YOURSELF, and stay safe when it comes to women. Because at the end of the day, you deserve it.

scottbrio · 2016-04-20T23:41:14+00:00

This is why I'll never get married. I'd like to have kids one day, but I don't see one happening without the other, so it's not looking like an option.

OP- I'm truely sorry for your struggles. Know that your experience is helping keep others from going through the same thing.

Take a trip to Thailand or Brazil and reassess. Life is not over, it's just shifting. Time to do everything in your power to make it shift to be in your favor.

nowag · 2016-04-20T21:43:52+00:00

How much alimony do you have to pay her?

What's the rest of your financial situation like?

mgtow4ever · 2016-04-20T22:06:05+00:00

Can you put Pay To the order: "Lazy Fucking Cunt" on the check?

Five_Decades · 2016-04-20T22:22:09+00:00

Take some time off work, this is a lot of stuff to handle in a short period of time. Marriage dissolving, losing your house, losing custody of your kids, being treated unjustly by the legal system, father dying, chronic job stress.

Lots of doctors end up with substance abuse issues for various reasons, I would watch out for that.

BleauGumms · 2016-04-20T23:31:17+00:00

hit men are cheaper than alimony. just make sure you have an air tight alibi.

IllusionDestroyer666 · 2016-04-21T07:32:01+00:00

All part of the grand plan my friend. This isn't about equality and never will be. It's about destroying the nuclear family and turning men and women against each other by making procreation and marriage something to fear rather than embrace. Your story is why I can never get married and why many other men now refuse. It's like we don't even have a choice because the risks have become absolutely not worth the trouble. Especially with today's young generation of Tinder whores polluted by feminism. You're lucky you had a taste of what is now utter fantasy.

squidracer · 2016-04-20T23:44:47+00:00

Never get married, but never ever get married in California.. At least most other states have done away with alimony laws or put limitations on them.. Sucks man, sorry

ancientalihen · 2016-04-21T00:21:40+00:00

Haha jokes on her, all those $20s that she takes from you will have Harriet Tubman's ugly mug on them!

TRPrism · 2016-04-21T05:27:32+00:00

Posts like these scare me, yet they also remind me that women are more than ready to play the long con.

Don't get married, guys.

lastlaugh50 · 2016-04-21T03:43:10+00:00

The Philippines is an English speaking country. Others have mentioned Canada. Maybe consider the nuclear option?

One person I know is a 71 year old surgeon working to pay lifetime alimony to two ex-wives. Family court system is bullshit.

Perhaps you could find a way to hide your income by getting paid in neighboring states like Nevada and using Gasworks.com doing locum tenens?

t10drvr · 2016-04-21T03:44:54+00:00

Dude! Get your credentials set so you can work in another country. Get job in other country. Drop citizenship of this fucked up place. Your kids will understand. Oh and if they don't fuck it.

-Luthe- · 2016-04-21T02:30:32+00:00

Alimony shouldn't be lifetime, that is bullshit.

At least your kids are old enough where they'll be legal adults soon so they can see you whenever they want. Stay in their lives as much as possible!

fort_wendy · 2016-04-21T04:35:24+00:00

I'm sorry to hear all that but please don't kill yourself. Your kids would be devastated. Whenever you spend time with them, teach them right, treat them right. They would really appreciate it. As for your financial situation, I only wish the best for you.

ocdudebro · 2016-04-21T05:16:33+00:00

Damn brosiff, sry to hear. Your not alone though its like theres an undeclared/ignored war on men, morality, families right now its terrible.

But i wholeheartedly agree about taking some time off, thats what i did & its helping alot. All the stuff & money in the world wont bring happiness. Get out there, travel around & clear your head

Adam_Suzuki · 2016-04-21T06:52:43+00:00

As an asian (asian asian, not american asian), I want to let you know there's life outside the U.S. I know it feels all encompassing and such, but trust me, there is life outside and a good life can be had. There are many smart and developing countries that can appreciate a good skill set and will give you a comfortable life in return. Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan, South Korea are options too, despite societies being very feminist, but like the Muslims in America, they don't see those men as "bad". Just white men. But in asian countries, white men are treated very differently than asian men (I know, as an asian I'd rather be white in asia).

Don't give up, it's what I always tell people I meet when they are getting depressed about living in the U.S., divorced or not.

raven982 · 2016-04-21T07:01:13+00:00

I bet they need Anesthesiologists in a lot of non extradition countries.

oldredder · 2016-04-21T10:43:39+00:00

WHY ARE THE FUCKING LAWS SO UNFAIR.

That's what they exist for.

Men are meant to be slaves in society unless the society is run justly and few ever were.

time off work to check myself into a mental hospital so I can get some help because I am literally losing my mind

Or, you could wire your money somewhere else using bitcoin and leave for good, start a new life where the laws don't do this and you don't risk it and get married ever again.

xienxui · 2016-04-21T03:40:48+00:00

Just out of spite I'd quit my job, take all my money out of the bank, burn my ID, and move to some other town, money buried in a safe box, living as a seeming "homeless" person.

Titaniumbass · 2016-04-20T21:22:40+00:00

Hang in there, dude. Check out The Red Pill. You will come to an "enlightenment". The boys need their Father. Teach them to be MEN!

exit-stage-right2 · 2016-04-20T21:53:33+00:00

I don't know how the laws work, but surely an appeal to a Supreme Court would rule more fairly.

Mgtoe · 2016-04-20T23:30:46+00:00

My condolences man. Truly your an ideal many of us would love to be in terms of intelligence and success. Just know that every case like yours is not in vain because this is the fuel for the rest of us to be suscessful in our own lives and deprive these cunts of a wage slave/ATM machine. If anything well rub our success in their faces letting them know full well that we are very much aware of their intentions and they will never have a piece of our success which they so desperately want to domesticate and make their own. We have you and countless others like you to light the way and thank for that. If ur ever in Texas man lmk well vent over some brews. Stay strong brother

Gorkildeathgod · 2016-04-21T00:42:32+00:00

Why the fuck did she get everything, isn't it split up a bit it something?

docmongre · 2016-04-21T01:13:04+00:00

Is it really life-long alimony? Or just till the kids all turn 18?

PhilbinThaison · 2016-04-21T03:01:30+00:00

Good luck, man. Shit is all set up against you, and that is wrong.. but I hope it works out.

I would move to Broken Bow, armed to the teeth. Change my name, stop paying all bills and go on indefinite vacation. Hopefully I wouldn't be found..

But this is why I'm mgtow, and I'm never having kids. Having kids would ruin my escape plans.

ancientalihen · 2016-04-21T03:34:51+00:00

[deleted]

2016-04-21T06:00:02+00:00

Mods, please sticky this post so that the young uns know what's going on.

fodtp · 2016-04-21T07:36:39+00:00

You are rich, enjoy your life. It is not fair to pay alimony for your ex, but focus in your kids and your life.

domoremath · 2016-04-21T08:18:05+00:00

Just curious OP, did you get a prenup?

Morranaii · 2016-04-21T12:49:06+00:00

down hill faster then a landslide within the last decade

WOW ten years of misery. faster than landslide? most people would be off this ship in a month of such BS. but you see, marriage prevents from doing that and you try to "work on shit" to solve it and make it diamonds "again". never works.

LetsGoAllTheWhey · 2016-04-21T14:31:30+00:00

I just can't fathom lifelong alimony. She's already a millionaire given the value of the house. Can you fight it, at least once the boys are grown?

1v1crown · 2016-04-21T15:30:00+00:00

Yeah I would leave.

aanarchist · 2016-04-21T15:54:48+00:00

you should gift each of your sons a copy of the rational male. i'm sorry for your loss.

LifeMedic · 2016-04-22T19:31:22+00:00

Well, you only have four years until your youngest is 18. That'll clear you of the custody depression.

Stop paying for the house, have your name removed completely off the mortgage as you have the divorce decree stating you have no ownership.

Is her alimony based on your income? If so, you have a great way out. You have a needed profession. Learn to live with much much less (easily done). This will reduce her alimony payment. This may mean just working 10-20 hours a week (maybe less), oh noes, what shall you do with all that free time.

Now, she has the mortgage to pay and a reduced alimony payment. This gives her an incentive to find the next sap to leech off of. Once she's done that, you should be free of alimony altogether once she remarries.

So in 2-4 years, you'll be a free man again. Then you can ramp up work to increase your income if you want without the strings.

feromortum · 2016-06-02T05:37:14+00:00

Hey man i know i'm late to this. I want to give you love and a bit of advice. Quit making house payments. You don't owe the bank shit all they can do is reposes your house. The hose is the bank's collateral, and it is time for them to collect on it. It isn't up to you to make those payments. They can't touch you if you stop they can only take the hose.

A coworker of mine got divorced and did this. (much smaller house) but the same principal applies. They can't do shit. And if you get taken to court file for chapter 7 bankruptcy directly afterwards. They wont be able to touch you (except child support). Don't worry it gets better.

ryeshoes · 2016-04-21T05:16:02+00:00

Move to another country. Your 17 year old is old enough that he's not going to cost you anything in child support soon enough, and the 14 year old is too old to fall prey to propaganda, hopefully.

The reason to move is twofold - to escape US government access to your money and also because you are too young to roll over and die. Your skillset will be highly sought elsewhere and whatever assets you have left can go a long way. The compensation should be better elsewhere.

If you stay in USA you will die a pauper. It's almost a "metaphysical certainty" to borrow a term I saw in Watchmen

victor_knight · 2016-04-21T05:06:00+00:00

Sorry to say, but your life is basically over. You've basically been robbed and put into lifelong slavery by the state. Don't do anything stupid. The state won't think twice about sending the police/military after you and throwing you behind bars with rapists and murderers. Thank you for sharing, though. Let your experience be a lesson to other young men contemplating marriage. And no, I don't think you fucked up in handling your wife. It was only a matter of time as women can flip at any time and for no good reason. Even after 24 years (the damage is worse the longer she stays, ironically).

GuidoBandito · 2016-04-21T00:16:23+00:00

Like everyone else said, Canada seems like the only option for you.

It'd be kind of a reverse Dave Foley action. That poor man got divorce raped in Canada.

http://youtu.be/SaC-2lj6HNg

(Archive.is is STILL processing this link a minute later...) http://m.thestar.com/#/article/entertainment/television/2011/03/11/comedian_dave_foley_fears_arrest_owes_500000_in_childsupport.html

abandonedthrowaway32 · 2016-04-21T07:36:13+00:00

I would recommend to go to an Adult Residential Facility, you can stay there for a couple of weeks with good therapists helping you out. its not a lockdown facility so you have some freedom in there. Good luck and I hope things turn out well for you.

She took everything..

Comments

This.

Title	She took everything..
Author	Life_Is_Over_For_Me
Upvotes	130
Comments	129
Date	April 20, 2016 9:00 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/4fpj6h/she_took_everything/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/she-took-everything.635923 https://theredarchive.com/post/635923