Gents, I'm contemplating going full monk mode

the_enthusiastic · 2020-04-10T23:41:57+00:00

You are on the right path. Only a wise person realizes soon enough that material pleasures have their limits and true peace and happiness lie inside. And that is why monks do what they do. They realized the false promises of the material world and started their journey to find the meaning of life and permanent peace that doesn't depend on external factors.

All the best brother.

I am exploring spirituality and decided to rise above this red/blue thing. If you'd like, you can start afresh and read some of the ancient scriptures. Or you can even explore some of the modern teachers who teach the same stuff but in a new way.

DreamDelving · 2020-04-10T23:56:28+00:00

I stopped pursuing women. I most got no's anyway.

Honestly I feet so free when I'm not pursuing women or not seeking a relationship with them/sex.

Trying to get sex from a woman for me is like pulling teeth and I've lost a tooth and a quarter in the past so I know just how painful that feels lol.

It still is difficult to completely switch off the "ask women out" button but I have been doing well recently. When I pursue women my progress slows down or halts completely.

Broski hit me us if you want an audio chat. I am so freaking bored lol.

deephurting666 · 2020-04-10T23:59:06+00:00

You will not regret it, I've been a monk for years and have virtually no stress, a mint in the bank and peace of mind that is rare in this day and age. When you hit full monk mode even attraction to women lessens to about none and desire to improve ones self skyrockets

Chprowtt · 2020-04-10T23:51:56+00:00

Try to spend your money on experiences rather than objects with value or "pleasure" prostitutes in your case. If your goals don't bring you enough satisfaction after achieving them then there's something wrong about it. Perhaps you were too close to them since the very beginning but you didn't notice. I recommend you to travel for a long period, this will help you out clear your mind and bring out new goals to your sight.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-04-11T01:37:41+00:00

Monk since 2012. Dated a bit in 2015, as a 40-something man, meeting 40-something women. Thought about getting back on the horse... but found that the market in my age group was a complete dumpster fire. Women I wouldn't pity fuck looking down their nose at me. Had a few good laughs though. Middle aged women somehow thought because they had a "career" (usually, just a job) they were these appreciating assets, and had eye popping expectations - the impetus for monkey branching and nicer homes, cars, travel, lifestyle... it was easy enough to see through. So, with no real reward, and an INCREDIBLE number of AMAZING hoops to jump through, and then a MAJOR cheque at the end of it all, I changed my plan to: Weekly wank and get on with life. I went home after one dinner date after not listening to a single word she said and in my mind, something just snapped. I thought, "If I never have to do that again, it will be too soon." and BAM. I was out. Just like that.

I just kept hearing the same old damned thing over and over again and I just eventually found out that.... I had zero interest in what she needed to say, about all the things she was feeling and all the things she needed to see, do and buy.

I wanted nothing to do with any of it.

30203forever · 2020-04-11T00:19:53+00:00

Twenties is the MOST important time to pursue your financial independence which happens when the income from your investments covers your expenses. I did not know that till 30 y.o. so it took me 20 years to achieve it from the "ground zero". You can do it by 35 and then kick back not caring a bit about this pandemic, your job or anything else for the matter. Freedom is priceless, bro....

HIJKelemenoP · 2020-04-11T00:20:34+00:00

Tldr. Go full monk.

RedPillMissionary · 2020-04-11T00:48:32+00:00

Just keep in mind that the last quarter of your life will be much like the first. You may be less capable of caring for yourself, being hired, etc. so materialism sucks, sure, but dying hungry while sick and in pain sucks too. Try make enough money to be independent IMO

binge-lazy · 2020-04-11T01:21:08+00:00

<< 41 yo bachelor for life... I wish I had gone monk mode when I was your age. I would’ve saved a fortune

hagbard51 · 2020-04-11T08:18:46+00:00

My experience mirrors yours in that I acquired most of the stuff I thought would make me happy, the bike I wanted, car I wanted, job I wanted, living where I wanted to live. There was some initial and fleeting satisfaction, but I ultimately realised that external stuff doesn’t make me happy.

Now I’m working more on ending the suffering caused by the ‘chattering monkey’, the internal dialogue that more often than not is negative. Stilling the mind, combined with undertaking challenging pursuits like a tough hill climb on a bicycle, eating better food, sleeping more and making sure to talk to friends regularly have all helped me find purpose.

Having a purpose is vital to me. With a purpose, I can put up with a lot of stuff that in the past would make me feel anxious, or lonely or that there was ‘no point’ to anything.

I’d also echo what Tannenhauser said, we are social animals and isolating oneself isn’t the natural state for humans IMO. I read something that resonated with me that if we interact with others with a pre-conception of ‘gaining’ something from that person e.g.

“I’m talking to this girl because I hope that she’ll sleep with me / validate me”

or whatever, then we’re constantly setting ourselves up for disappointment.

If however, we approach each social interaction with no pre-conceived desire to benefit in some way from that interaction, then it can be far more satisfying.

That can be talking with a stranger, a family member or friend or current (or ex) lover. Then if something else happens unexpectedly as a result of having no expectation of the other person, it’s a happy little bonus in my view.

Just doing that in my interactions with others has helped me massively and made me less frustrated, less resentful etc.

Best of luck on your own journey my friend.

Great_Sandwich · 2020-04-11T04:18:31+00:00

I'll make it short: Living alone, having gotten over my ex, having a clear head, and no longer thinking with my soldier has paid back TENFOLD in this present crisis.

Nobody to worry about. Nobody to interfere in my planning. Nobody to have to take care of. Just me. I fkng LOVE it!

dreadnaut91 · 2020-04-11T00:48:39+00:00

Look into van life. It's pretty similar to what you've been doing.

noah1680 · 2020-04-11T01:51:02+00:00

IDK why westerns always omit the spiritual part off of the equation?

My advice is at least seek out a pseudo-religion like yoga or some sort of philosophical religion like evolutionism as a starting point to finding the truth and as a tool to finding peace.

In general do whatever it takes to have some spiritual food (figuratively) but I highly recommend skipping directly to spending some time on the three main religions(Judaism, Christianity, Islam) if you do it on your own it will be hard and difficult but not impossible because we have a mind we can think and reason, it can be easier if you asked for help along the way from priests scholars ..... the important thing is to ask the right questions for you.

Wish you well and I hope you will the right path.

Pedang_Katana · 2020-04-11T03:53:01+00:00

Now while monk mode is not for everyone, you should try it if possible. I've been doing it for the past 4 years (mainly after I graduated from college) and I could say that it's awesome! Having that peace of mind and knowing that your life would get better from here on is life changing.

daydreamdirty · 2020-04-11T04:04:44+00:00

Me? I reprioritized, found new goals and dreams and am pursuing them one step at a time. It’s never easy but the best things in life never are. But they’re worth it.

jp_mra · 2020-04-11T04:16:40+00:00

It's not about abstaining from women. It's about convincing yourself to not even want one.

sgtadamcl · 2020-04-11T04:20:15+00:00

Good decision

slamdunktiger86 · 2020-04-11T05:55:30+00:00

My dad is a trucker, I get a little of what you mean. He was a monster though and deliberately used his job as a buffer from being responsible with his children. He only worked swing and graveyard when he clearly didn't have to, he also turned down management positions. Poverty fit his pride better. He was bizarre and broken man.

Pardon the rant, but yea, I feel you man.

Dr. JBP's many lectures helped me when I was in a similar state of mind as yours. Learning to bear your load, learning to embrace responsibility, learning to appreciate meaning over happiness, it really made sense to me.

I had to shorten my time horizon and not focus on a month, a year or the decade behind me or in front of me. I had to focus on the next five minutes, the next 15, the next 30. When you're in pain, that really helps.

And I sought solace in what really brought value and meaning to me. I chase that, I don't chase happiness.

I once saw a good thread somewhere that mentioned, you need 3 hobbies. One to stay fit, one to stay creative with and one to make money.

And... live the examined life. Know thyself. Understand and appreciate yourself, and you master the entire universe that way. Self-knowledge is the ultimate form of wealth. Self-respect, is the best currency.

The black pill goes away. It's okay man.

You are exactly where you need to be right now.

A wise friend told me once, "give up suffering."

proactive-defense · 2020-04-11T11:00:34+00:00

I will tell you how I do. Let me preface by saying: my approach to all of this is to not simply believe what I am told and take it as fact, but to simply explore the possibility and see if it might be true for me.

"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, seriously helped, I was about to break, and it showed me the way out.

Then I became interested in Theravada Buddhism. "The Path of Purification". That might be a good way to actually go monk mode. Be a monk haha.

Yes, all those worldly things will not bring you happiness. Happiness is an association that is usually compulsive, but can be deliberate, such as with the "first jhana" of samatha meditation. There is a book called "A practical guide to the jhanas" that might help you there.

There is some debate as to whether both vipassana and samatha are required, or if solely one is required, to reach nirvana. There is only one way to know, and that is to see for yourself.

But yes, that SAVED me. What I do on the regular is I limit things that produce dopamine for no reason, or things that produce dopamine that actually harm me. Yes, porn, smoking, drinking, risk-taking behaviour (running a business is risky enough, trust me you'll get a kick).

There are so many little lessons that I could share, and none of them mattered to me until I got to the point where they were what I needed.

Consider at least that every moment leads to the next moment. If you think one thought, and do one thing, you will tend to do more of that thought and more of that thing. The same with feelings, the same with any kind of complex mental formations. So deliberately do something that is exclusively beneficial to both the world and yourself, but don't overwhelm yourself, steadily become something you would like to be, you have the power.

Tannhausergate2017 · 2020-04-11T00:26:22+00:00

I would not recommend isolating yourself like you plan to, like Charles Butkowski recommended. This is not a good idea if you do it in the extreme. Sounds romantic and edgy but it really is a recipe for greater depression and isolation.

We are social creatures and it sounds good on paper, but it can lead to a deeper spiral of depression and mental illness. I know bc I tried to do it and experienced it. I was borderline suicidal, too. My self-talk was very full of self-condemnation and pessimism. Not the reality.

I was very depressed, but cane to wits end and I finally got my relationship with God back on track after ignoring Him for ten years and I’m glad I did. Seek a closer relationship with God. Pray. Read the Bible. Talk to God.

Try not to isolate yourself even if it means you just regularly chat with grocer clerk up the street. Again, what I kind of did.

vetiarvind · 2020-04-11T03:10:52+00:00

Yeah pretty much on point. I'm in bed with a girl and she's just saying it's pretty strange I don't have girlfriends, I just like to pump n dump. She's not wrong. I did want a girlfriend but now I don't care about it. Just me, my goals and the whole world in front of me. Women are a distraction from your goals when you think about it. When they come into my life it's cool, so long as you don't get addicted to them. I woke up today morning feeling sorry for the boyfriend of the girl who once broke my heart. Imagine playing that simp role everyday. What a nightmare. I don't want to bang the same girl more than twice.

rockstarsheep · 2020-04-11T12:43:56+00:00

One thing to consider, brother ... having ... one does not, or rather, you cannot have a relationship ... as a possession or thing. It is not a thing to have; it is something that is shared. One thing to keep in mind; you will never be able to out drive or out run yourself. You are always with yourself. Your challenge may be to be in one place and discover what is real about you, now that you know what is not real about you.

Where in Eastern EU are you?

redditloginfail · 2020-04-11T13:08:19+00:00

It's peaceful. Once you fully adjust away from the standard "gotta pursue chicks" mindset, you come to the realization that life is very full on your own. I look back and wonder how i even had the time and bullshit tolerance for dating in the past.

Gents, I'm contemplating going full monk mode

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Title	Gents, I'm contemplating going full monk mode
Author	ZenitGG
Upvotes	1
Comments	39
Date	April 10, 2020 11:19 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/fyrecm/gents_im_contemplating_going_full_monk_mode/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/gents-im-contemplating-going-full-monk-mode.808928 https://theredarchive.com/post/808928