I feel invisible sometimes.

DonMelbourne · 2019-07-24T07:40:26+00:00

You probably don't matter to her at all. She probably thinks that you aren't good enough. The more important question is: What do you think about yourself?

MpowerUS · 2019-07-24T20:42:04+00:00

Learning to discern between people who actually see you vs those who want something from you (even something as small as validation) can be tough. I automatically assume any new woman talking to me is there for my wallet, my dick, or my validation until proven otherwise. When women want your validation but you don't give it to them....be prepared.....the pretty ones get extra crazy.

TriGuy99 · 2019-07-24T19:23:15+00:00

If you are seeking to get validation from random women, your life will be miserable.

Even if you get your validation from women at all. They are fickle and in our culture, a woman who is going to be loyal and love you for you until death is rare. Don't look to women for validation.

winlessplayer · 2019-07-24T18:44:11+00:00

Ha, the lonely man going his own way.
Not fully out of women reach, I see.
So not really mgtow, but probably going his own way, the difference? One adheres to a group's guidelines, the other one is going his own, own way...

You haven't been completely brainwashed by this sub or the other, which to me is a good thing, but unfortunately it means that probably no one is going to help on this sub.

You think you are making yourself better for you, but you are still longing for validation and company.

I think these are compatible, but if you are looking to attract women you may not be quite mgtow... unless it's clear that you don't want a long term commitment.

(most of people on the two subs are about almost hating women and not getting any in their life, even for short term, try to seek the ones that still have girlfriend and fwb and all, they could help).

pmmemonay · 2019-07-24T17:53:21+00:00

"You don't matter. Your pain, your suffering, your needs, they don't matter. And you can only reach to this conclusion once you accept how you are viewed."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSIcXRvM4IU

Platinum247365 · 2019-07-24T17:12:18+00:00

There are reasons why I feel that the club is a waste of time and money. It's too loud anyway.

coupdegrace_x · 2019-07-24T17:08:16+00:00

It’s all been said here from what I can tell just scrolling thru comments.

You’ll know you e truly caught on to MGTOW when this type of interaction occurs again and you’re not phased by it but maybe hoping on of those dudes dancing w her gets laid.

Till then, go monk mode and get to know yourself. Find what you like, what you like about yourself, what you don’t like (in general) and what you don’t like about yourself.

Things you don’t like about yourself; Do you have any control over changing it? Yes? Then change it. No? Accept that and learn to love it as a part of who you are. Don’t let little imperfections override your greatest qualities. Get comfortable w them.

Real-Barak-Obama · 2019-07-24T16:33:31+00:00

Don’t be a pussy.

Comfortable_Return · 2019-07-31T07:27:48+00:00

I've been invisible for my whole school life. Seriously classmates didn't even know I existed (except for a few of my friends), Teachers couldn't remember my name cause my presence was that weak. But for me I liked it, I hated attention to begin with so I like being invisible. It's not really a bad thing.

notadaddy · 2019-07-27T11:41:32+00:00

I remember hitting it off with a girl in the club, she was dancing getting close to me and were together for a bit, lost her as i went to the bar and kept dancing, then she found me again and we start dancing...then some tall ass dude comes in and then she just starts rubbing up on him, he is just standing there drinking, not even dancing....there's a lesson in there.

alextherem · 2019-07-27T09:31:38+00:00

You are at a club and expect a woman to just pay attention to only you? Women go to clubs to get free drinks and attention from degenerate cuckold loving SIMPS. Don't go to a club and expect anything different.
Stop measuring your worth on whether or not THOTS want to talk to you. That's no way to live your life. You are more than an ATM, free drink and sex regret.
Get a constructive hobby.

SullenBol · 2019-07-26T01:54:09+00:00

I think as a man, not even a MGTOW, it is important to dissociate a bit during these situations. Like, that has been my mistake in the past. I was always thinking about how i was presenting myself, does she think i'm cool? Such dumb stuff. If it's the right girl for you, you don't even have to worry about these things 'cause she doesn't care anyway. Stepping into MGTOW has enabled me to dissociate a bit. I don't get hang up on such thoughts because i have already established that I'm not looking for anything. She might be cool and we might have an interesting convo but that's just interacting. It's not a proposition. Bottom line, set your expectations, don't fall into them.

Frelsi_8899 · 2019-07-25T21:55:51+00:00

You don't matter. Always remember the golden rule, "trust not what they say but what they do".

And it's not you. Do you think I matter to any of these female friends I have? Or "friends" in general?

I know it fucking hurts. I set out with good intentions but I have become wary and jaded about the whole thing. In the end I see them as slightly emotionally retarded and a bit lost, incapable of fathoming how to form and develop long term relationships. They're extremely short-sighted always asking "What can he do for me?".

What happens is guys like you and I get used as an emotional pillow because we're happy to get some attention and in this context, we seem to have some value and are taken seriously.

Somehow you need to find a way to free yourself from this mechanism.

TigPlaze · 2019-07-25T19:46:32+00:00

You've got to get to a place where you don't give a fuck what women think.

Soulgrrrr3 · 2019-07-25T17:47:21+00:00

Yeah we are a minority but red pilled is a lifestyle we see through bullshits of life and choose to walk away. Its a lonely road for real men, You got the online community. But for real mgtow need to have real life presence over online presence we need to have a group in every city like a meet up where we can support each other and have a monthy meeting.

liberamesse · 2019-07-24T08:28:23+00:00

Everyone is invisible to somebody else. I wouldn't worry about it. Myopia and egocentricism are prominent aspects of the human psyche. Besides, she only just met you and did little more than have a conversation with you. That's not long enough or an involved enough interaction to build a substantive bond.

It sounds like you still have to shed some of your bluepill brainwashing, as you are seeking validation from this woman and appear to be putting her on a pedestal. Understand that, like most people, women are primarily interested in themselves. They are not angels or authorities on your value as a human being. They are just ordinary, flawed, self-interested, human beings, like everyone else. You are responsible for your own self-esteem and the value you bring to the world. Women do not determine your value.

Likely, in this case, you were sexually attracted to her. That's just biology trying to get you to reproduce. It has nothing to do with her or her qualities as a human being. Women don't biologically work in the same way. Their sexual responsiveness is less immediate and is contingent on more factors. To get a similar type of response from an attractive woman, you'd have to look like some sort of male model and ooze confidence, but that does not mean that such a male model has more value than you.

ayram3824 · 2019-07-24T14:38:58+00:00

dont you think its better that you realize this as opposed to be ignorant or blind to it and get cucked?

NeverNeverLandIsNow · 2019-07-24T13:56:22+00:00

Ask yourself why you give a shit what she thinks? If you get your validation from external sources and not internally then you are gonna have a hard life. It is a hard pill to swallow to realize that in general the world does not give a shit about you, but it can also be a freeing thought, I don't need to worry what anyone else thinks of my life, it is only important what I think. And BTW don't think she actually gives a shit about those other dudes either, she is just gonna use them for something she wants.

666sdk666 · 2019-07-24T13:53:48+00:00

You will see her again, on a dating app, looking for a "good man" to take care of her and the litter of womb turds left behind by the string of "bad boys" shes "tired of". You're the winner here, believe it or not.

GeneralEi · 2019-07-24T13:46:27+00:00

I understand this sentiment. I've felt it before and it stings until you learn to keep perspective. Keep in mind that you've had one conversation with this girl, essentially a total stranger (both ways, to her and to you). Why should she care about you at all?
How many people d'you think in your life have had a conversation with you, thought you were great but didn't show it at all or say anything, then felt dejected because you didn't give them the time of day?

I guarantee that number is more than you think. This girl didn't care because that's normal, and while it does suck as soon as you commit this concept to heart it makes it a lot easier to deal with.

839027364 · 2019-07-24T13:38:10+00:00

i love being invisible !

men4feminism · 2019-07-24T13:37:24+00:00

Do you know what she was thinking, her intentions, state of mind, or background? All we know is that she was getting it on with other men, which in itself is a bit of a red flag.

Since you have no other information to infer anything about her thoughts or intentions, and since there are endless other possibilities why that happened, it is worth asking yourself why you assumed it must be because you're 'not good enough'. You have literally nothing to reach that conclusion, and from what little information you do have, I'd say you likely dodged a bullet.

deepspace7 · 2019-07-24T13:21:07+00:00

You do not need any girl to feel self worth. What you thought was hitting it off with her was just her turning up her charms. It doesn't mean she likes you. You are not important to her because she found someone else she likes better. The sooner you accept female nature of monkey branching the less pain you'll feel. You can only be yourself. Don't let any girl make you feel like you don't matter.

avtarius · 2019-07-24T13:08:51+00:00

Your better days are when you meet people who accept and like you for who you are.

Your greatest days are when you improve who you are, for your own cumulative self progression.

There is never enough knowledge, there is never enough money, there is never enough time. The last thing you need is using external measurement/acnowledgment. Just beat your own record, every day.

WildChad · 2019-07-24T13:04:04+00:00

It's not you, it's that you were in a club.

Only the biggest, most handsome, 6'4 Chad with a great smile would hold a woman's attention in a club like you expected.
I'm serious with this - I have done a lot of clubbing in my life to get some lays and fuck buddies.

I have a friend who matches the above description. Usually I get moderate to high attention, depending on what I'm wearing and if I'm in a great mood, (I'm pretty good looking 6'2) but walking around with him, I saw women gawk at him and I became almost completely invisible...

... Did the women go puppy on him and waited for him and not talk to other dudes if those dudes approached them?
Sometimes... Sometimes they were so floored, but mostly not.
Even he wasn't able to pull off what you expect with the exception of always having a couple of a bit crazy girls who stalked him and threw him at him ... (usually not at all high quality)

So in short, clubs are like candy stores for women - If you remove one box of particular candy out of the shelves, nobody is going to notice as they have TONS of other options coming at her.

You have to do well just to have her remember your interaction with her 3 hours later if she's hot i.e. if you want to continue some joke or whatever rapport you built back then.

Make sure you realize that attractive women have 1000 guys a month, thanks to the internet dating apps and social media, basically throwing themselves at those women. You are nothing but a blip on that radar.
And when it's you with them, you better do, say, intrigue with something high value and very different to get her curious, lead her and escalate quickly or she'll lose her interest/attention on you for being a beta orbiter.

And finally, when and if you get there - It's just your turn unless you are a total specimen of a man she's never been with before or are at her top 1%.

Reality.

Now obviously if you go under your SMV instead of shooting up, which I assume you did anyway as most men automatically devalue themselves (you are better than these women!), unless you go a few points down, you'll get them flake on you if you do average job as they want to chase guys couple notches above their SMV because they can occasionally get those guys doing the same lowballing.

DangZagnut · 2019-07-24T12:21:25+00:00

Your job was temporary attention and buying her drinks. That's all. You were a utility like using a bar napkin. You don't take it home as a souvenir.

Rayzond · 2019-07-24T11:37:19+00:00

You just met a girl at a club, how did you expect her to act? It might be that your expectations are far from reality, and that is what made you feel sad?

30203forever · 2019-07-25T05:32:18+00:00

When she turns 30-35, she'll be invisible to everyone and you'll have a last laugh. Happy now?

_RavAshi_ · 2019-07-24T08:55:25+00:00

Embrace misanthropic philosophy and it would set you free.

FlourishedCass · 2019-07-24T15:32:07+00:00

You're at the club so you're already meeting the wrong type of women

801735 · 2019-07-24T15:25:06+00:00

It just kinda made me feel like I don’t matter at all to her.

What exact moment are we talking about here?

See chicks'd be happy with about 5 guys or so, each to fulfill one of her momentary whims, and, of course, the guys should potentially not know each other or better still, should know each other and when together all work like a well oiled running machine for her benefit.

You ARE invisible, male human work drone.

GET. BACK. TO. WORK!

All the love in the world (for her, but none for you, du untermenschlicher Sklave, du),

society

chalchium · 2019-07-24T15:12:17+00:00

Sometimes? Dude you are already better than me. I am invisible all the time. Even at work despite my contribution I am excluded from many after work activities, just because I don't "mingle" much.

People are only as loyal as their options. Put yourself into her shoes. If there's a 4/10 chick talking to you and she is feeling "clicked", but another 7/10 wants to start a conversation with you at the same time? What would you do? Don't expect loyalty from people, and you will never be disappointed

mechgaige · 2019-07-24T15:15:59+00:00

Bro, you matter to us. You matter to others that are not imaginary internet friends. If you don't matter to them, then they should not matter to you. Maybe, get out of clubs and get outdoors. You will find amazing people out in the woods.

NYCCOOP · 2019-08-22T12:37:21+00:00

Wrong sub

Title	I feel invisible sometimes.
Author	I_will_be_great_
Upvotes	27
Comments	97
Date	July 24, 2019 6:07 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/ch4auf/i_feel_invisible_sometimes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/i-feel-invisible-sometimes.812754 https://theredarchive.com/post/812754

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