Is It Ever Too Late

bogeyd6 · 2017-07-25T03:03:38+00:00

Hope you got your jollies. Post is locked for not adhering to the guidelines, but we do have solid contributions so its not removed.

over60_stupid_loner · 2017-07-23T19:51:21+00:00

Your nest is emptying out, and you are looking for life after nest. Been there and right now this could go a lot of ways for you. I'll give you might take from your short post......

Empty nest. This is real man. You saw it coming 4 years ago and said, what's left after the kids?
Long term beta, because you could. You and wife were busy raising those kids and you tolerated each others laziness toward your marriage. She rejects and you do the butt-hurt and sulk. Kind of like a truce.
Your instincts are good when you realized that you needed to be more attractive, and at least you did something about it 4 years ago. Like others here, suggest you do more.
You sulked for years, when you finally said something, she was surprised, which means you have spent a long time being a "nice guy" that does not get his needs met because you did not say anything. First book on the side bar NoMoreMrNiceGuy. Start reading it, Today!
To your wife's credit, when you did say something, she started INITIATING sex with you once a week. She seems to want to make you happy, but you have to assert yourself in order to get it from her, or anyone else. Read WhenISayNoIFeelGuity. Do not blow past the 100 pages of boring explanation of why it works, it is important. You need to be more assertive, not aggressive, assertive.
You rejected her advances. This is amazing that she still initiated on you. She seems to wants to please you. Get past your anger. Read SavingALowSexMarriage.
When you do initiate I think she is so taken back that she rejects. Start initiating again. Yes - side bar reading....
At 50 you are a young guy to me. Too late???? No way. It is only too late when YOU say it is.

You have a lot of work to do. You can be happier, but it is going to take some serious time investment for you. Decide if you want to be happy, then get started. The only one that can stop you, as a grown up man, is you. Good luck man.

matrixtospartanatLV · 2017-07-23T16:30:26+00:00

You began to wake up four years ago.

Where are you now?

Have you been lifting for four years?

Reading the sidebar for four years?

Where are you, TODAY!?

If after four years you don't know exactly where you are, then start over right now.

Sidebar

Lift-read-repeat. Lather-rinse-repeat.

If you have been married 26 years, the kids gone or almost gone?

Sidebar, dread.

When you finish dread level 5, you decide whether to advance dread or just...NEXT!!

I'm 55yo, struggled mightily in the beginning but doing a little better now.

In 6 months I'll decide whether to stay or go, but the plan to get there is the same.

And YOU will know when YOU get there.

It may or may not be too late; your question says you don't know enough yet to find an answer.

Start finding your answers, in the sidebar.

ReddJive · 2017-07-23T18:30:31+00:00

Just because you started late doesn't mean you failed. Get that notion out now.

Too bad /u/over_60_stupid_loner isn't a regular any more. He'd have good advice for you. Still the rules apply.

Now I am in the camp of RP men that believe that no matter how well you lead some women can't change or at least won't change. Feminism can be that deeply ingrained in their psyche. Now a few guys will say they are alpha enough but I suspect when faced with that kind of shrew they wouldn't bother I know I wouldn't and I'm about done with mine. Why should they? If time is my currency I am spending way too much on someone who refuses to change or submit to my frame. There are women that will.

The RP path is simple. Stay to it. Once you have improved yourself and you are objectively seeing noticeable gains you can then turn and look at her and ask is she of value.

Your vetting process was likely fucked. Your beta life with her feminist ideals could have just put her in the bitch box. Either way we make our choices. If she is comfortable where she is and sees no reason to change you can't fix that. Don't fall into the trap that many make that think if they improve she will change.

Reality is she has a mind too. Your change are supposed to make her realize what she is missing by leaving you but women can build up some much in their heads that they can then fool themselves into thinking otherwise.

26 years married? You have at least 26 months of hard MRP work to do. It can be faster, but that's up to you. How quick you break out of this "whoa is me" mindset your've created.

So here's some things to work on.

I told her

No. Show her.

began to reject her advances

Weak. Women take that shit far harder then men do. Besides rejecting her is rejecting your manhood.

I get vanilla compliance sex almost once a week

Ok so that's the type of sex where you show dominance. It sends the message fuck you and your half assed sex. You're going to pound town.

I can't seem to get myself too initiate. Last time I did she rejected me again.

So what. The tools are here.

I am more unplugged now

No. You're more aware now. You've not really done anything but realize you've been a beta fuck for a long long time. So you need to start working. Time now.

SgtSilverBack · 2017-07-23T23:10:56+00:00

It seems to me that you don't have any direction. True direction. In several of your comments you reference action, however, it isn't action with purpose, with intent.

You mentioned running and doing pushups for four years and you still have a bit of a belly to get rid of. I'm not going to go into whether that is what you should do or not. What I will go into is that it seems like you have only been running and doing pushups as an action but not an action that will take you to a goal.

So lets go down that rabbit hole and see if it fits in anywhere else in your life.

Working out: What I see is that you want to work out. Great. Why are you doing it? Because you were told you should workout? But it isn't the HERE that you want. Are you running because you want to do marathons, because it is your time to reflect, because you still need to meet a PT requirement for something? Why pushups, are you not making enough to afford a gym membership or your own weights. What I see after I look at your comments and OP is that you aren't sure what you want other than working out. You know you want something but haven't defined that something.

You are going anywhere your whims take you but it isn't towards your goal. The reason is because it doesn't seem like you have set a goal. You seem self aware enough to know that HERE is not where you want to be, but you don't know where HERE SHOULD be. So do you want, abs, to lose weight, to have X squat, or deadlift? Once you assign your self a goal then you can start working towards it with intent and purpose. For me, I want a 500lb squat, and have abs. I designed my workout and diet around those goals. I squat 410 for reps and have abs. I am progressing TOWARDS my goal.

How does this fit in to the rest of your life.

Marriage: You have become aware of MRP, read some books maybe, maybe done some type of action. But for what goal? Like with your exercise, did you assign X as your marriage goal or are you just doing marriage to do marriage.. You don't know what you want it to look like. You have been told you are supposed to do it so you are, but it isn't the HERE that you want.

Sex: You initiate (Read you do SOMETHING) and get rejected, she initiates and you get duty sex. HMMMM sounds like she saw how you live the rest of your life and is living up to the example you gave, she did SOMETHING and got SOEMTHING out of it. Is it the HERE that either of you want? Who the fuck know unless you know what that HERE looks like.

Career: Now you might be like every other Noob here that makes billions, and the work world blows you every second until you get home and magically turn into a beta, sexless man, but I doubt it. My money says that you have a job, maybe a decent one. Probably built on the times that you had direction. Now, you don't work with a purpose. I'm sure you do SOMEHTING, it fills the time at work. But do you have a goal that you want to be finance manager, or whatever it is that you do?

So, to boil all this down to a few words that all the old timers here ask for 75% of the questions asked.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Give us a statement about any of the areas that I listed that makes us see some passion and HERE that you actually want.

88Will88 · 2017-07-24T08:16:31+00:00

50 is not old. I have a 63 year old friend. He is dating a 39 year old. I am around 50, dating a woman 17 years younger than me (after years of plating and banging women half my age). You are not lifting enough, push ups barely count. At least get into the gym 2-3 times a week and lift something. Even if it is just the bar, some light dumbells or use the machines. Be careful not too lift too heavy, you will get hurt. Start light, be consistent, increase your reps to ensure you are still sore the day after a workout. Clean up your diet. Then decide what to do, stay or go. Life is too good to be wasted.

470_2_700_nm · 2017-07-23T17:29:58+00:00

If you don't initiate at all she is either not attractive to you or your testosterone is low.

5x5 should be your first step to spike your testosterone.

I'm surprised at how many people post "ask MRP" type content in this sub.

gvntr · 2017-07-23T23:01:03+00:00

50 is just a number.

Everything broke wide open for me after 50. At 58 I am in a much better place than I was at 48, or even 38.

What it is is up to you.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-07-24T15:39:54+00:00

You are not initiating right and you have less than 0 game. Read MMSLP and the Mindful Attraction Plan.

Do you even know the 3 stages of Seduction? Have you read a single book on game and PUA? What about the Book of Pook? Do you understand the concept of OI? Have you ever even used Kino?

MrSundance57 · 2017-07-24T20:52:01+00:00

Not to late. Lift, initiate everyday, get a no, feel good about it. Always push for a no, because from now on, you dont give a fuck and a no is kind of funny, from such a silly bitch.

Get a yes for vanilla? Go caveman on her, she is now your own personal fuckhole to enjoy after a day of lifting. When she calls you an asshole, you should feel proud because you are making progress. Not an asshole yet? Ramp it up a little at a time.))

She initiates? Reward her, she is being good.

Study game. Practice game. Read everything you can about raising your alphaness. Be a douchebag for fun because from now on you dont give a fuck.

Also, get your test and thyroid checked. Find an anti aging doc. Get your test levels high. At 55 I did and within one year of TRT I lost 20 lbs of fat and gained over 20 lbs of muscle.

tacko276 · 2017-07-23T16:31:57+00:00

Age doesn't matter there is always work to do. Keep working ......

31Olives · 2017-07-23T18:26:27+00:00

I'm only now unplugged. Four years ago I started to figure out that something was amiss. I started working out of my own accord. So I'm a noon and I don't know what the "sidebar" means.

jcrpta · 2017-07-23T19:57:58+00:00

I'm not going to lie, trying to turn it around has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. By the time you get to our point in life, there often isn't a father figure who can act as a role model and mentor - if you'd had a reasonably alpha father figure you wouldn't be here in the first place! The nearest thing you have to a progress barometer is your wife, and she's so used to you being frankly pretty crap that she sees everything you do through shite-tinted spectacles.

The thing I've found most helpful is regular, hard workouts and watching your diet. A light jog isn't enough - you need to be lifting heavy weights at least three times a week and doing good cardio that gets you reasonably exhausted the rest of the time. Get that spare tyre under control - it'll give you something to focus on and will provide visible evidence of the fact that you are clearly making an effort.

Your wife may never come around. You need to accept this and be prepared to walk away. On the plus side, once you've got your shit together, you're going to be in a much stronger position to do this.

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2017-07-24T04:23:54+00:00

It's never too late to start being amazing. It's also never too late to kick dead weight to the curb. Don't just stay married if she isn't making your life better. Be aware though, I'm not sure WTH you've been doing for 4yrs, but if you don't know today, you might never know. Seize life friend!!

DanG3 · 2017-07-24T12:00:16+00:00

I wish I were 50 again - and know what I know now and in as good of shape as I am now.

Rotten_Red · 2017-07-24T16:12:37+00:00

You are getting good advice here. One more thing to keep in mind is that while this is an effective program it is not fast. You are doing this for the long haul. Plan on at least one month for every year of marriage so for you just plan on it being a two year program. At the end of that time you should be in a good position and then you can have the fuck me or fuck you talk.

31Olives · 2017-07-23T19:33:39+00:00

Thanks.

31Olives · 2017-07-23T19:37:20+00:00

Thanks for the feedback.

31Olives · 2017-07-23T20:02:56+00:00

Thank you. I'm all in whatever the outcome.

31Olives · 2017-07-23T20:06:20+00:00

Thanks for your insights.

Title	Is It Ever Too Late
Author	31Olives
Upvotes	24
Comments	32
Date	July 23, 2017 4:00 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/6p21za/is_it_ever_too_late/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/is-it-ever-too-late.198624 https://theredarchive.com/post/198624

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