This is pretty much my first post after years of lurking. I've been reading redpill casually for about 9 months, but only began incorporating it into my life in earnest for roughly a month or two now. I am currently engaged to my monogamous ltr of 7 years, which is why I've found MarriedRedpill to be especially helpful. While I like to think our relationship was pretty good to begin with - vanilla sex whenever I've wanted, she earns a high salary and is entirely financially independent from me, no questions asked when I want to spend time / travel with my friends - there were clearly some beta aspects to my personality. In the short time that I've become cognizant of shit tests and maintaining frame though, there has been a noticeable improvement in her cooperativeness, deference, and overall attraction to me as a leader.

This past weekend marked an unfortunate event for me. I recently graduated from business school (had been living alone in a different state for two years) and began work as an investment banker at a bulge bracket firm (a major achievement for me). She has her own studio apartment in the city; I've been crashing at my parents' house until her lease runs out in August and we move into a new apartment together. Everything was great up until Friday night when we stay together at her apartment. As we're nodding off to sleep, she begins her usual nagging routine asking me if I brushed my teeth and telling me to turn off my phone alarm so it doesn't wake her up the next morning (this is a huge deal for her, she hates waking up to an accidental alarm on the weekend). I told her to stop nagging me and that my phone was already on silent, which it was. Unfortunately, I forgot to turn the alarm itself off, and it woke us both on Saturday morning at 7am. I quickly said "aw shit", turned it off, and attempted to go back to sleep right away. In her typical fashion, she gets out of bed, bitches for a few minutes to the tune of "I told you so!", and spends the next 45 minutes audibly huffing and puffing around the apartment to demonstrate how pissed off she is. Finally, as the clamor dies down and I'm beginning to drift off to sleep, I was sharply awoken by a glass of cold water being poured all over my face, and hear her maniacally stating that since I woke her up, now I am to be awake too. Unbelievable.

At this point I completely lost control of myself and made a severe mistake. I darted out of bed, and started swinging the pillow at her - clocked her once in the face and a couple times in the torso. Nothing violent, and clearly nothing to cause any physical harm (it was a feather pillow), but enough to frazzle her. Arguing ensues. She pinned me on bed grabbing my face and pulling my hair with all her might. By this point I've calmed down and remain docile so as not to exacerbate the physical activity. More arguing ensues, followed by crying. She tells me to get out, and I'm now subjected to language such as "animalistic", "battered", and "Ike Turner". Shit. I should have left the premises as soon as the water touched my face, but my emotions got the better of me. This was Saturday morning, and as of today, we haven't had any contact. I would prefer to fix this situation as soon as possible since we need to be apartment shopping together, but have no idea whatsoever how to do so appropriately. The last thing I want is for her to be genuinely scared that I'd ever hit her. Help?