Common Ground: "It’s Time We Retire The Statement 'A Real Woman.' Isn’t It?"~ MRAs should support Feminists in encouraging Women to stop judging and shaming other Women for having normal, healthy curves.

Nomenimion · 2014-05-12T04:47:06+00:00

What we really need to retire: language policing. It's futile, trying to improve lives by performing impromptu surgeries on the English language.

Samurai007_ · 2014-05-12T01:44:59+00:00

I find that the greatest pressure to be skinny comes from other women, women's magazines, etc. Most men like some curves on a woman, always have, as long as it doesn't go overboard to obese (and some men even enjoy that, I know one personally that thinks any woman under 250 lbs is "too skinny").

rbrockway · 2014-05-12T01:47:38+00:00

I don't believe I've heard the term A Real Woman used much (unlike real man which I hear all of the time).

FWIW I consider judging other people for the shape of their body (men or women) to be ridiculous. I encourage people who do that sort of thing to expand their horizons.

I've actually heard an argument that 'skinny' became sexy for western women as a result of the activities of fashion designers. I won't go in to the argument because it is off topic, unless asked.

Faryshta · 2014-05-12T04:41:03+00:00

why only women healthy curves? why not fat men or short men too?

iethatis · 2014-05-12T01:59:59+00:00

MRAs should support Feminists in encouraging Women to stop judging and shaming other Women for having normal, healthy curves.

Irrelevant to men's issues.

I couldn't give a rat's ass how skinny or fat a woman is, except in choosing a partner. I have my own preferences for attractiveness, and they are nobody's business but mine.

There is a parallel for men, with body shaming used by feminists such as "neckbeard", "fedora", "manboobz" (still don't get that one), "couch potato", etc., but the problem here is the use of ad-hominem to discredit arguments, rather than determining their status in a dating hierarchy.

ThePigmanAgain · 2014-05-12T04:03:57+00:00

When did skinny supersede curvy as the ideal? When women were allowed to determine the ideal, that's when. There's a whole can of worms lurking under the masculinised ideal that women have chosen for themselves. Hell, if it didn't involve so much hard work women would probably be going for big muscles as well as the leanness, the narrow hips and the head height!

vintermann · 2014-05-12T10:00:26+00:00

Although there's a lot of totally unjustified loathing of fat people, I've never heard of a woman's femininity being questioned on account of weight. That's just not the angle it takes. Intelligence, self-control, attractiveness, those are questioned, but not femininity.

I'd love to hear of counterexamples, as they would somewhat challenge the frequent MRA assertion that women get their largely positive gender identity (not role) "by default", whereas men have to perform to be seen as men at all, let alone "real men" (i.e. good men, men with a positive gender identity.)

typhonblue · 2014-05-12T04:44:45+00:00

Get a real problem.

Chad_Nine · 2014-05-12T07:11:16+00:00

Women can sort their own bullshit out. They don't need big, strong men to protect them from other women.

HolySchmoly · 2014-05-12T16:10:55+00:00

I fucking love fat women. What's the problem?

Shlapper · 2014-05-12T01:49:40+00:00

Yes. "A real woman has curves. A real man likes curvy women." It's misleading people into thinking that they should be a certain way to fulfil the requirements of being a human. On a related topic, I'm also tired of society trying to distance "real" from "evil". A man or woman who tortures, kills, rapes, hurts others is no less real than the next person who wouldn't dream of hurting fly. These people who do horrible things are real men and women. We can't just pretend that these people are fake and therefore it's not a problem.

DavidByron2 · 2014-05-12T04:28:17+00:00

Feminists worry about crap like this because they have no real issues.

jmg83 · 2014-05-12T01:43:26+00:00

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JakeDDrake · 2014-05-12T06:26:48+00:00

"Real Woman" is thrown around by larger women as much as it's thrown around by smaller women. I say both genders need to stop perpetuating the false notion that there is some kind of perfect example of either gender.

2014-05-12T07:20:45+00:00

I've hardly ever heard the term "real woman" used, if at all.

Most woman, just say, "because I'm a woman," as if that's an adequate explanation for why you are supposed to do something to please them.

Chivalry is shit.

SocratesLives · 2014-05-12T07:46:25+00:00

I fail to see how this wouldn't simply turn into another example of feminists trying to shame men for our preferences, so no.

SocratesLives · 2014-05-12T09:20:54+00:00

I agree with ditching the terms "a real woman" and "a real man".

So we don’t need to create campaigns and movements focused on showing what’s real.

Agree.

We simply need to accept what is in all cases and culturally let go of the perceptions we place on what beauty is...

We'll never know how much "the perceptions of beauty" is a result of our culture.

Funcuz · 2014-05-12T17:23:57+00:00

I can count on one hand how many times I've ever heard anybody utter a statement beginning with "A real woman..." Maybe I'm the odd one out here but this strikes me as a complete non-issue.

jmg83 · 2014-05-12T01:20:03+00:00

Ridiculous. Some people are skinny, and that's all there is to it. The meme in that article has annoyed me for some time. Okay, so Keira Knightley may not be all that...gifted in some areas, but she's an attractive woman nonetheless.

miroku000 · 2014-05-12T17:10:45+00:00

I think the feminists need to join me in stopping shaming women for being thin like the picture in the article does.

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