Got Falsely Accused [Update]

BigBadBootyDaddy10 · 2024-01-04T13:54:01+00:00

My buddy had the following happen to him (not as intense as your story).

Must preface, this was over 20 years ago, pre social media.

We both went out to a bar (college years for both of us). Just chillin drinking a beer in a very crowded bar (Thursday was college night and it was alway packed). I went to the bathroom, came back and my buddy is gone. I look around and don’t see him. I go outside and he’s shouting at a police officer.

So here’s what happened. A girl asked my buddy to buy her a drink. Have to add, that my buddy is tall and great looking. He declined. She asked him again. He declined with the “I don’t buy drinks for women” line.

Minute later, he gets escorted outside by the security to the cop waiting outside. He wasn’t arrested, but was told he was accused of punching a female.

The incident luckily led to just paperwork for the cop, but at that moment I realized how effed up some people can be.

To the OP, think back. Did you decline an offer?

Sir_Spectacular · 2024-01-04T12:11:29+00:00

I wonder if it's this manager that has the vendetta against you for some reason, that she's just making stuff up and there isn't even a "victim" at all. You still haven't mentioned whether the police are actually involved at this point, it sounds like it's all coming from her. She's going well beyond the normal call of duty to slander you.

Make sure to keep that screenshot from your friend, and have him screenshot more if he can find it. Gather and document as much of her sketchy behavior as you can. I'm no lawyer, but if you can prove that this lady has a vendetta against you, it would probably help your defense, if it comes to that. Alternatively, you might be able to file a defamation suit or something once your innocence has been established.

It's probably a good sign that she backed off and deleted her post when your friend called her out on her sketchy behaviour. It could mean she's got a guilty conscience, or she's afraid of attracting scrutiny from her peers.

Like I said before, you're a regular patron of this bar, right? Businesses like this live or die based on the loyalty of their regulars. I bet that, if this "accusation" turns out to be a fabrication, and it comes out the manager banned you from the bar for no good reason, she's gonna get some serious flack from the business owner, or fellow managers.

Spins13 · 2024-01-04T12:30:20+00:00

I would have taken screenshots of everything for evidence and shared it with a lawyer. Make sure you do this in the future if you haven’t

Infamous-Reply-8121 · 2024-01-04T14:25:12+00:00

This is horrific. Its scary how easily this can happen.

It's good that you are talking to lawyers, listen to them.

Fuzzy_Department2799 · 2024-01-04T15:31:10+00:00

Like others have said you need to find out of there is actually a case being investigated. My gut tells me there isn't and you did something to piss this woman off. If that turns out to be true the bar is also liable for her actions since she defamed you under the guise of her job. That means they both are open for a lawsuit. Clean her out.

gntlbastard · 2024-01-04T15:53:10+00:00

Even if they find you innocent there will always be people in your neighborhood who will now treat you like a predator.

Scarce12 · 2024-01-04T16:19:08+00:00

Some people asked why in the comments and I’m paraphrasing she said they were notified of an open investigation about me and although there is little details that they had they decided to 86 me to protect their other guests.

So they decided not to tell you this?

Blows my mind that we are seeing more and more of this issue of vigilantism trying to deny natural justice and undermine the court systems because they aren't getting outcomes they want.

You probably have a defamation case against them.

Unnecessary_Timeline · 2024-01-04T13:24:44+00:00

You really need to get an attorney so that they can start probing police and find out if there really is an actual investigation happening…and so that they can properly document these kinds of potentially damaging social media activities…and to prepare an argument for a bond and a method of payment for bond in the event that a warrant is issued…otherwise you’re going to be doing all of this last minute, potentially from a jail cell. Will be a lot more difficult, and more expensive.

DMFan79 · 2024-01-04T12:56:24+00:00

If there's someone after you, they might be trying to push you to act on impulse. Which is a classic.

I know it's hard, I've been a hothead in the past and I know that what happened to you gets under your skin.

You've got to stay put and wait. In the meanwhile consult your friend and collect any information that could help you later.

IronJohnMRA · 2024-01-04T14:30:25+00:00

Have you managed to identify and contact the bar owners?

OneCrazyCook84 · 2024-01-04T19:43:30+00:00

Sue for slander if nothing happened.... Especially since it's a business you'll get paid and the manager will get canned

thomas_gabriel88 · 2024-01-04T15:16:34+00:00

Obviously I'm not a legal expert but i would screenshot that because when it eventually comes out you're innocent that bar owner should be made to suffer

JCgamerX · 2024-01-04T17:46:54+00:00

the reason she removed was because she can get sued for defamation. she would have to prove she wasn't acting in malice and that'd hard evidence of malice

Signal-Quality8961 · 2024-01-04T19:20:12+00:00

My friend, I am in the exact same boat as you. Wrongfully accused based on a lie and no evidence whatsoever. I was arrested and now facing 3 felonies. I go to court Thursday with a public defender. I'm a decorated military veteran, father of 4, just finished a Master's degree, and now bankrupt facing 10 years...because I didn't want the bitch anymore.

DParadisio43137 · 2024-01-04T20:21:34+00:00

Hello friend -

Please remember to document everything. Record conversations (publicly if you must, privately if you can). Screenshot text messages, save video. Ask a lawyer if you can file a FOIA toward your own investigation to discover what is being said/investigated. Set up a phone friend so that if they come for you, you can make one phone call to one person who can then tend your property, contact your lawyer, etc.

Should you come out of this intact, and the prospect interests you, consider counter suing for defamation of character (and whatever else you can throw) at the original bar owner for the post on FB.

RustyCohleon · 2024-01-04T12:41:39+00:00

The rage within me after dealing with something like this would lead me to probably making things worse, I'd probably try to call her out and have her explain (and make a fool of herself) in front of as many people as possible. Probably not the best course of action...

Goodluck op

Haunting-Plum5305 · 2024-01-04T20:43:17+00:00

This sounds like town gossip that went way too far, I would ask your lawyer friend to contact the police and see what they say, cause there might not even be an investigation.

novadesi · 2024-01-04T16:34:57+00:00

Can you sue the manager for defamation - go offensive

BustingAfatnut69 · 2024-01-04T21:44:52+00:00

Its insane how the words of a women can easily destroy a man's entire life like that just purely out of what she says even when there's no evidence to back up what she said.

And It seems like she has some crazy personal agenda against you are you sure you haven't done anything to offend her/hurt her ego? Like she asks you out for a drink and you politely rejected her and etc?

Cause as the old saying goes "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".

goodestofgoodbois · 2024-01-05T03:06:34+00:00

Maybe research bail bondsmen in your area. You usually have to have someone, like a friend, family member, or attorney bond you out at 10% posted bond. But some bondsmen do not require this, however that is rare.

Keep a few hundred in cash on you at all times. If you get no bond, the cash will be put on your books which is good for phone time, tablet time, commissary, (having no shampoo, adequate soap and deodorant can make life real hard), and medical copays.

Oh, and btw, never say you are suicidal to police or jailers.

PrestigiousTiger0720 · 2024-01-04T14:15:51+00:00

Why would someone just post someone's photo just willy nilly without any details just because they got kicked out of a place for unproven allegations? Am I missing something or that person sounds crazy as fuck?

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2024-01-04T13:52:21+00:00

I'm not from the US so I don't know if it's the same there. However, I think you are putting as priority the wrong thing. You need to screenshot everything and record all the bad rumors that people say about you. Then you need a lawyer to see if there is an allegation against you. Here it's 50€ to have an attorney to check it. Maybe in the US is more. If there is no allegation, then you can sue for defamation the bar official, using as evidence both the absence of allegations and the screenshots and recordings of all the rumors that you heard about you. If there is an allegation, the first thing to do is to find evidence of your innocence and to send it to the lawyer. In the meantime, take the car and go out somewhere else. Once everything is finished, sue the bar official. Once the bar official is sued, you can have a compromise with the bar official to have not the total amount but half and being able to come back in the bar in exchange for the reitiration of the allegation of defamation.

maggiecoble · 2024-01-04T19:32:24+00:00

Me thinks you are not telling all of the story.

Title	Got Falsely Accused [Update]
Author	YourGoddessKween
Upvotes	274
Comments	48
Date	January 4, 2024 8:16 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/18y82kj/got_falsely_accused_update/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/got-falsely-accused-update.1242219 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242219

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