How is it victim blaming

PrecisionGuessWerk · 2024-04-29T21:00:42+00:00

There's a saying "Act according to the world as it is, not as you'd like it to be".

The rapist is more in the wrong here. But you can't ignore the fact that the world can be a dangerous place and if you walk around ignorant to that then you're exactly that, ignorant. And everyone has a responsibility to themselves to not be ignorant.

Sir_Spectacular · 2024-04-29T20:55:12+00:00

I agree. Both situations you describe seem equal to me. Flashing your wealth in a bad neighbourhood and getting blackout drunk at a sketchy party are both very bad ideas. The ultimate blame for what happens is on the criminal in both cases, but likewise I would question what decisions led up to the victim putting themselves in such a perilous situation as well.

Sometimes bad shit happens even when common sense precautions are taken, but many of those situations can be avoided with a bit of moderation and planning ahead.

ConsiderationSea1347 · 2024-04-29T21:57:05+00:00

One of the plagues social media has brought about is the inability for people to accept fault and innocence can be spread around. People’s need to virtue signal and simp causes dog piling and the result is society cannot accept that sometimes victims can make mistakes that lead to them becoming victims. Yes, teach people about consent also, teach people about basic situational awareness and self preservation. One reason I love this subreddit is that many conversations here allow more nuance than I find in other subs (though we certainly have our moments).

Background-Cycle-701 · 2024-04-29T22:41:30+00:00

I love this sub sometimes. It’s just men saying common sense. But outside of this sub they’ll tell you “it doesn’t matter what a woman wears there’s a lot of cases where it didn’t matter”

So that means women shouldn’t take an extra measure of protection and not dress like a WHORE? Where’s the logic

Greek_falcon1926 · 2024-04-29T21:53:12+00:00

Bro that's what I'm saying. I'm saying it for years. As a wish man said: "if you dress and act like a whore, they'll treat you like a whore"

L1me1nthec0c0nut · 2024-04-29T22:55:36+00:00

Yep. If I walk into a tough, seedy bar and start running my mouth, as I should be entitled to do in a free country, what are the expected results? The ass kicking isn’t just falling from the sky. No one would have much sympathy for me because my own actions and choices brought the consequences on me. I was complicit in the result.

SodaBoBomb · 2024-04-29T22:55:59+00:00

Blame goes to the criminal.

But people seem to be actively allergic to realizing that you are ultimately responsible for yourself. Anything even obliquely similar to the concept of personal responsibility makes them cringe.

TopProfessional3295 · 2024-04-29T22:22:30+00:00

It's because women don't like you fucking with their victim card.

Scarce12 · 2024-04-29T22:53:38+00:00

What you are perhaps asking is, does she have a drinking problem?

Apparently women say they get judged for drinking, and that men don't.

Yet the police and magistrates don't seem to follow that line, do they!

Shot-Camp-207 · 2024-04-29T21:01:08+00:00

While what you are saying isn't wrong, it's not empathetic.

You are treating this like a normal crime, like someone who gets burglarised would get called an idiot if they left their door unlocked when they weren't home. However this is not an ordinary crime, this is an extremely traumatising one. Focus on what she was wearing is futile now, she definitely will not do it again anyways due to fear of repeating the experience. They likely blame themselves to an extent anyways, and you trying to focus on their clothes would make them feel even worse.

Women know that wearing skimpy clothes will increase their chances of being raped, and obviously you shouldn't make decisions that could land you in those situations, but shifting focus to what the victim could have done simply makes them feel a lot worse.

miroku000 · 2024-04-29T23:11:22+00:00

Getting blackout drunk is indeed a safety issue. Clothing does not appear impact your chance of getting raped according to any of the studies I have seen.

Huitzil37 · 2024-04-29T23:18:02+00:00

Conservative dress is not a level of protection. "A skimpy outfit" is not actually a risk factor for assault.

Women are adults and adults need to be able to take responsibility for their own safety, women cannot expect the world to alter itself for their comfort. Women shouldn't get blackout drunk in unfamiliar areas around strangers because that's a really bad idea no matter who you are.

But "a skimpy outfit" has nothing to do with it. Why would that increase your risk of assault? It doesn't make any sense. It's just sexism: women's sexuality causes them to be imperiled by men. Scorn for women in skimpy outfits is the same thing from feminists decrying "objectification" as it is from religious conservatives: they think women's only value is their sexuality so letting anyone else get a peek without paying is devaluing the thing women rely on. If it doesn't end up with your organs getting harvested, you'll probably wake up cocooned in runny, black, caustic diarrhea.

A woman in hooker boots with a fucking gun is a lot safer than an unarmed woman dressed like a nun. Skimpy doesn't have a fucking thing to do with it.

HotRaise4194 · 2024-04-29T23:41:06+00:00

Is this satire?

theReaders · 2024-04-29T23:41:50+00:00

wow I can't believe people think this men's right thing is a hate movement...

SetophagaPalmarum · 2024-04-29T23:12:03+00:00

They then claim that it's misogyny to victim blame.

But the truth is, men would lame a male in that scenario even more lmao.

Few-Procedure-268 · 2024-04-29T22:06:42+00:00

Yep that's some pretty classic (and gross) victim blaming. Should probably keep that to yourself. I don't think anyone is twisting your arm forcing you to comment on the victim's responsibility for her own rape. Hell, I rarely find occasion to make public pronouncements about specific rapes. Maybe ask yourself what's compelling you to make these comments.

Amalthia_the_Lady · 2024-04-29T23:28:32+00:00

Okay, but on the same token then I pressume an attractive man shouldn't go out getting plastered and pass out drunk on the off chance someone with a penchant for nonconsentual free use comes their way knocking?

If the rule is good for one, it's good for the other.

I hardly drink anymore and when I do it's only around very trusted, long term friends or family but there's been a time or two in my youth where I had one two many and the porcelain called my name.

People should be able to control themselves. Trust me when I say, it's just as easy to get raped sober and in jeans and a hoodie as it is in the situation you suggested. The only difference is that in my situation the chances of knowing the person is significantly less.

So, do we have a base level expectation of the people we hang out with that they aren't gonna take advantage of us when we are high or drunk with them? Sure do.

Men I know have the same expectations of their female friends. And the wives! Better believe that expectation is threefold.

Nope. Victim blaming isn't cool. Blame the person who doesn't know how to respect folk.

New_Ear1091 · 2024-04-29T22:50:38+00:00

This is why women choose the bear

Title	How is it victim blaming
Author	Electronic-Zombie-50
Upvotes	40
Comments	33
Date	April 29, 2024 8:44 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1cg9wjp/how_is_it_victim_blaming/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-is-it-victim-blaming.1516845 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516845

Comments