How loneliness is killing men

DissociatedRacoon · 2022-11-14T00:19:26+00:00

My loneliness is killing me (and I), I must confess I still believe (still believe).

rabel111 · 2022-11-14T01:04:27+00:00

This trashy and lazy BBC article starts by explaining the isolation and loneliness experienced by men and boys in a modern feminist dominated society, then quotes a feminist academic (Prof Niobe Way) who femsplains masculinity to men and boys, blaming the persecution, marginalisation and isolation of men and boys in feminist dominated societies on hyper-masculinity.

As always in feminist discourse, hyper masculinity is very bad, because its being extremely male and we all know that being male is very, very bad. In reality, hyper masculiniity is a feminist method for describing men and boys who are all the things that feminist hate about men and boys (try reading the SCUM manifesto by the famous feminist psychotic Valerie Solanas), which like "toxic masculinity" has no valid real-world definition and simply associates "masculinity" with a negative adjective.

The author of the article fails to challenge any of the feminist hate speech published by Way, but offers characterisations of men and boys as macho sit-com personas as evidence supporting her shallow stereotyping of men and boys. Well that oddly makes sense?

In addition, the article discusses the opinions of an Emeritus Prof Dunbar, focusing on sexist stereotypes of men's relationships and social interation based on comparisons with women; “Because males are socially lazy, what tends to happen is the wife ends up driving the social environment for the household,” says Dunbar. OMG, projecting maybe? He is Emeritas and most likely writes from a bygone age, possibly influenced by neuroarterial plaque.

This is a shallow understanding of men's and boys' social interations, which stereotypes men and boys as socially lazy, and ignores the domestic violence of female partners who actively isolate men from their extended family and male/female friends. A similar ignorance is recounted from John Ratcliffe, a researcher at the Centre of Loneliness Studies at Sheffield Hallam University, who claims the high male suicide rates in single men in their 40s and 50s are related to men having a stronger link between marital status and loneliness than women, and a greater ‘reliance’ on partners for intimacy. I guess this academic completely forgot to consider that most separated men with children are alienated from their children and suffer considerably more emotional trauma on relationship breackdown (really? he didn't consider that?).

But the real gem of this garbage journalism is the quote from Prof Dunbar "Men’s reliance on their partners can also lead to further problems. For one, it places a lot of pressure on the women (in heterosexual relationships, at least)." That is the "issue impacts men, women most affected" of the week.

denvercaniac · 2022-11-14T00:50:21+00:00

Make male friendships. It saved me.

_BlueShark87 · 2022-11-13T23:10:56+00:00

Well at least it’s all our fault. Wouldn’t be a good article without that man shaming and then offering nothing to solve it.

PartyAllTheTime3113 · 2022-11-13T21:15:33+00:00

Well, at least they blamed it all on men.

bruh_bro_dude · 2022-11-14T14:32:39+00:00

The article unfairly blames masculinity as the cause.

However, this is a real problem and the solution is having more male friends for which we need more male only spaces.

PeonSupreme · 2022-11-13T22:45:45+00:00

Learn to tolerate loneliness.

Same-Machine12 · 2022-11-14T05:29:09+00:00

If masculinity is the problem,and feminism the solution, why are men unhappier now than 30 years ago?

Trick-Champion3634 · 2022-11-14T08:55:37+00:00

It’s not so hard, go to a bar on Sunday and see the men all by themselves. On a Saturday the men are standing by while the women are living it up and I mean taking shots, sniffing coke, making out. This one couple I saw, the female in the relationship was making out with strangers and the guy was acting like he was cool with it. If that’s not loneliness than I don’t know what is. That being said I’m a loner as well, if I ever go to a bar or club just know I’m alone but the difference is I’m to totally comfortable with it most of the time. Men really have it hard, go to work and bust your ass from Monday to Friday only to hit a bar on the weekend and have your wife make out with you get guys.

Ozhubdownunder · 2022-11-13T22:03:31+00:00

Socially lazy or socially less needy. Overall the article is a worthwhile read.

g1455ofwater · 2022-11-14T02:17:24+00:00

The article is ok but it goes a bit into the stereotype of women's problems are society's responsibility but men's problems are the individual man's problem. So by doing this they don't advise more funding for men or more investment into men they mostly start rattling off tips for how to make friends. But it's a societal problem and giving friendship tips to men is like responding to heavy crime areas by giving the phone number to a locksmith.

It also either goes too far into pro stereotypical male behavior or too far anti-masculinity. Some men are stereotypical and some aren't and I don't think that is the main issue for either one being lonely.

It talks about how men adopt a wife's friends as his own and says men are socially lazy but ignores that men are often expected to drop all their friends when they get married and devote themselves to their wife because of gynocentric dating standards that favor women. I've never agreed with the idea that men's friends shouldn't be part of his life after marriage.

The one person talks about lack of friendships being a symptom and that's true, but if you bring up the microscope the bigger problem is men are only loved if they provide but women are loved unconditionally.

slipkit98 · 2022-11-14T18:45:15+00:00

I have been alone for 7 years. Became pessimistic, opposite from the person full of hope I used to be. I’ve been considering going to Ukraine

selfiepiniated · 2022-11-14T19:06:10+00:00

I’m not surprised. Some men cannot even look you in the eye these days. If you are too friendly, you are seemed a bit suspicious. I think some men are also self-obsessed, too self-conscious, neurotic, paranoid, and awkward, which makes it challenging to connect and make friends, and this leads to loneliness.

Gunslinger1925 · 2022-11-15T01:27:09+00:00

I’m an introvert. Always have been. I’ve bonded with other dudes at work as acquaintances. Have even become Waldorf and Statler with them, poking fun of things.

But at my core, I’m still an introvert. I’ve never been into sports, and not everyone enjoys going to the shooting range to pop off a boxes of rounds in my field of work. (Education). Not that I could if wanted to with the rising costs of everything.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to find some dudes to hang out with and do shut with, but it feels difficult. I may look for some drawing clubs or something around town.

As for the article, I did see the femsplaining was strong with that one.

lifesuckswannadie · 2022-11-15T16:14:41+00:00

They don't care about men until one snaps and does a mass shooting

Then they blame all the other men who didn't do anything

Title	How loneliness is killing men
Author	Heavy_Grand2526
Upvotes	199
Comments	40
Date	November 13, 2022 9:07 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/yue9vv/how_loneliness_is_killing_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-loneliness-is-killing-men.1138696 https://theredarchive.com/post/1138696

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