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"It's not that simple." but actually it is that simple..

WolfGuy801

November 17, 2021
423 upvotes
/r/MensRights

​

#anti-mrm messages on other parts of reddit

Archived from /r/MensRights

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Post Information
Title "It's not that simple." but actually it is that simple..
Author

WolfGuy801

Upvotes 423
Comments 201
Date November 17, 2021 3:42 PM UTC
(4 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/qw20a6/its_not_that_simple_but_actually_it_is_that_simple/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/its-not-that-simple-but-actually-it-is-that-simple.1083631
https://theredarchive.com/post/1083631
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OP Posting this in /r/memes would indicate it is supposed to be funny.

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After a tough year and a half for local businesses, some trashy person decided to rip apart a cafe’s patio plants for no reason. This is why we can’t have nice things.

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Comments

[–]BeNice_777 222 points223 points224 points 4 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

As usual, the thought is that it's all about women yet again. Pound me too has simply changed the risk equation for men at work. When you can be accused of basically any slight without justification or recourse at peril to your livelihood you will naturally tend to avoid those who have this power.

I'm not trying to punish a pack of wolves in the woods either, but I'll definitely take steps to keep myself safe around them.

[–]trumpismodest 47 points48 points49 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

'Pound me too' is hilarious.

[+][deleted] -31 points-30 points-29 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Not really.

[–]vonkrueger 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Really? Look at the juxtaposition of the text and the purpose of the message. I'll never use the expression because it's minimizing of women's struggle, but something can be both inappropriate and funny.

[+][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]vonkrueger 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Not saying it's a knee-slapper or a gut-buster, but juxtaposition is one of the hallmarks of comedy. It might be in poor taste, but that doesn't make it not funny. Obviously not everyone thinks it's funny, but any intelligent being can see the humor in it.

We're not on opposing sides, here. You can think something is atrocious and humorous at the same time.

[–]NarutoBoy87 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

True and true brother... Everything is affecting them.. Young adult men are skipping college.. The ratio has gone down drastically.. No one is worried about why young men aren't going for higher education instead its their issue..

They are calling it golden penis syndrome.. Essentially they are getting less options to pick from, so blame it on men again.. SMH

[+]EnvironmentalWar4627 -150 points-149 points-148 points 4 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link

The question becomes is treating all men like rapists a good idea? Is it detrimental to mens health? Is treating all women like false accusers any better?

Edit: Here's a link to what people here think about treating all men like rapists.

Reddit link

Why are people supporting doing the same thing to women?

[–]40moreyears 75 points76 points77 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you really see these as equal?

[–]Nagoda94 52 points53 points54 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If they assume all men are rapists and start accusing us we may lose everything without even hint of evidence. If we avoid them thinking they can cause us problems nothing will happen. Now tell me how's that the same thing when only one party is being punished.

[–]irrelevantmoniker 44 points45 points46 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The minority of men who have a proclivity to rape are often deterred by the massive social stigma and punishments that they may experience as a consequence of their actions.

The minority of women who have a proclivity for false accusations are often encouraged by the social acclaim and rewards they may experience as a consequence of their actions.

But of course, these are exactly identical in all meaningful respects right?

[–]maxlvb 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The minority of men who have a proclivity to rape are often deterred by the massive social stigma and punishments that they may experience as a consequence of their actions.

FYI: 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average.

(Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, p. 403-26)


(femists everywhere) “Only a minority of feminists actually want to kill all men”

(only logical response) Only a minority of men actually rape. Therefore women shouldn’t be scared of men.

Do you now see how sexist feminist logic is?

[–]xx_DEADND_xx 71 points72 points73 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Does falsely accusing someone have any repercussion? Does that in anyway shape or form destroy families?

[–]vonkrueger 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, basically 100% of the time.

I'm sincerely curious, please take no offense. Are you trolling? If not, this is an opportunity for constructive dialog.

Do you know what typically happens to men falsely accused of rape, even if they're exonerated? Can you please tell me?

[–]hyzermofo 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You're kidding, right? Or trolling? An accusation alone is devastating, to reputation, relationships, employment, you name it. Long before any evidence is presented or required, the accused will be ruined and tarnished forever.

I propose that the punishment for making a false accusation should be equivalent to the charge, if guilty. So a false RAPE accusation should end in the same sentence as a guilty RAPE verdict. 20 years or whatever. Watch that shit dry right up.

Females in western society spend their entire lives having zero accountability.

[–]vonkrueger 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Agreed on sentencing, with the stipulation that the burden of proof is equal in both cases. Meaning there must be mens rea, which is difficult to establish a la perjury.

[–]hyzermofo 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I guess, but "burden of proof" is completely absent when it's an accusation only, and regardless of the outcome of any trial immeasurable damage has already been done.

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What do you suggest Mr “not a male feminist”? I would not want to be out of view of a woman at work. And I’d avoid a relationship with one. If it went sour (and with half of marriages ending in divorce that’s not an unlikely possibility) what’s to stop a woman using #Metoo to lash out if sage feels she was wronged? False claims of violence and abuse are common in divorce. There’s no point in risking your livelihood by associating with women at work.

[–]63daddy 161 points162 points163 points 4 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

It’s not punishment, it’s a rational reaction to false accusations and counting the most minor if interactions as sexual harassment.

[–]SunshineMoonLit 77 points78 points79 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

"Hey, there is a gas leaking stove in there that will most likely explode... wanna go in there? Or steer clear?"

"Steer clear"

"You sexist pile of shit!! Why won't you go near my gas stove!?!?!?!"

[–]ZS_1171 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

that's going a bit far, but also yes

[–]Godzilla2524 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It really isn't. Just as a gas stove can explode with various levels of force and flame output a false accusation can have varying levels of ruin. Just that even the lesser levels are still horrible.

Parallel seems fine.

[–]Butterflyevenin 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I make it a priority to never be alone with female colleagues, to never joke with then or make small talk. And frankly to avoid as much contact with them as possible. And this isn't from a hater perspective. My boss is female. And she's a good boss. I'm just not an idiot and I know how the world works. I do it out of the workforce too. Maybe ten years ago when I was in college you could be cordial to a female on an elevator or waiting for the subway. But now? Nope. I don't say a word and try to look the other direction if at all possible.

[–][deleted] 127 points128 points129 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

I remember one time, a woman walks up to her gf seated beside me at work, and exclaimed something about "don't you just love my shirt?"

It was an Atari shirt, I love Atari.

I (BIG MISTAKE) said "That's a cool shirt!". Later that day I get called into HR. Because that shirt contained the womans breasts under it. I was [accused of] staring at her breasts. I argued that I couldn't see them, because of the shirt, even if I wanted to, because I cannot see through shirts. They thought I was crazy. I thought they were crazy for claiming I was staring at someone's tits, who just basically said "look at my shirt, aint it great?"

As you can probably guess, I had to sign a document indicating that I wouldn't stare at womens breasts. FML. I quit that job pretty soon after that.

Also, when a woman actually does harass a man: that is always ignored, or just shrugged off. We get shredded for doing nothing, they get away with doing actual things.

[–]63daddy 73 points74 points75 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Great real example of both how one sided and ridiculous this has become. I remember some years ago the EEOC publishing a list of sexual harassment behaviors which included things like standing too close to someone, gift giving, looking them up and down, etc. By their list of common everyday behaviors, most people commit sexual harassment many times every day. Not only is it ridiculous, it belittles actual sexual harassment.

[–]Rolaid-Tommassi 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It also has the added bonus of supplying statistics to back up their claims of "rampant sexual harassment" in the workplace.

[–]63daddy 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Indeed. Feminists do that a lot. Yo make it look like something is on the increase and becoming a crisis, simply change the definition to create greater numbers.

[–]jadedlonewolf89 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s fine I didn’t want to share my snacks or sweets anyway.

[–]vonkrueger 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You got stung, bro.

I had to sign a document indicating that I wouldn't stare at womens breasts

Response to this should be, "I'll have my lawyer take a look at this before I sign it."

Sadly, they'll be wide-eyed and confused because nobody does this.

[–]ZS_1171 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

*facepalms* oh my god...

[–]Hirudin 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

And if we take a step back we realize the utter absurdity of this supposed oppressor/oppressed dynamic. It's seen as entirely rational by society at large that a member of the "oppressed" group can dictate when and how a member of the "oppressor" group can even be allowed to gaze upon them in public. No one with that degree of enforceable control over someone else can possibly be considered oppressed by the person they have that control over.

It's just completely asinine. Can any of us imagine a scenario in which a man of any station could insist that a woman of any station doesn't have permission to look at him and not only would we not think of him as being absurdly entitled piece of shit, but social and legal structures would actually enforce that demand upon the woman?

[–]EvanOrizam 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

What business is that? My father is way too stupid

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

A major credit card company in the USA.

[–]EvanOrizam 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Can you tell me name?

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

It's not CapitalTwo. Does that help?

[–]ApprehensiveMail8 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Did they HR department ask what was in your wallet?

[–]neighborhood-karen 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

God damn it, have an upvote you piece of shit

[–]EvanOrizam 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

K ill research thx

[–]maxlvb 60 points61 points62 points 4 years ago (68 children) | Copy Link

To all men: Here's the deal. Do not hug a female, shake her hand, give her a complement, or even look at her.

Make sure you are never alone with a woman in any way, shape, or form.

Always have at least one other male and one more female present when speaking to, about, or otherwise in regards to any female.

Record everything. It’s your only chance at not being called a sexual predator.

(source: found on reddit)


Feminist selective agency. Women are free to do as they wish right up to the point where they suffer negative consequences for their actions, then it's everyone else's fault.

[+]throwawayagain0262 -54 points-53 points-52 points 4 years ago (67 children) | Copy Link

I know so many men who don’t think about any of this and just exist normally because they know they aren’t fuckin weird lol.

Imagine if you had a daughter - would you feel comfortable with men she isn’t super close with hugging her, or telling her she’s hot, touching her shoulder, looking her up and down when they think she doesn’t see them? That’s the kind of shit that’s weird. It’s very possible to just exist normally around women, there really truly aren’t many that are as insane as you think there are.

[–]maxlvb 46 points47 points48 points 4 years ago (64 children) | Copy Link

Toxic feminism is constantly branding all men by the actions of the few who do wrong. That kind of attitude comes at a cost and is hurting your grandfathers, your fathers, your husbands, your brothers, and - most of all - your sons.


The biggest example of sexism in the world today is the ridiculous belief that only one sex has ever been the victim of it.

Carl Augustsson - NCFM

[–]ZS_1171 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

the quote at the bottom is accurate, most girls .at the school i go to believe in the idea of patriarchy

[+]throwawayagain0262 -30 points-29 points-28 points 4 years ago (61 children) | Copy Link

I hear you, and that’s a fair point. Just consider teaching your daughter to trust all men and that it’s very unlikely any of them will have sinister intentions, thoughts, or fantasies about her. Not all men want to do perverted stuff to women, but enough do to warrant caution. If you intend to teach your daughter that almost every man she meets does not want to do bad, sexual things to her…good luck with her not getting hurt.

[–]shrickertt 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (42 children) | Copy Link

aka - “i will teach my children that all men are evil because people, not just women, get hurt.”

you're a complete nutcase mate. i hope you get the help you need.

[+]throwawayagain0262 -18 points-17 points-16 points 4 years ago (41 children) | Copy Link

I haven’t said anything about teaching your daughter that all men are inherently evil. I’m just saying that if you allow your daughter to think that it’s extremely unlikely that all men she meets will only have good, not-sexually-charged intentions, something bad will happen. I wish that wasn’t the case, I wish it was different, but look at what kind of porn is popular globally; barely legal teens, gagging, gaping, crying, slapping, choking, rough, struggling…this isn’t weird, niche, uncommon stuff, this is like normal porn content that millions of men regularly consume frequently. This is what men want to do to women. Not all, but lots. There’s been plenty of stories about women being raped and murdered and tonnes of men searching video footage of it on porn sites immediately. It isn’t just the weird degenerate men in the corners of the world, it’s, like…normal dudes lol. This isn’t an “all men are evil” thing, this is a “you’re very likely to encounter men who are into everything I listed above and you can’t always tell right away” thing.

[–]maxlvb 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

IOW...

When a non existant enemy has no face, you're saying we need to invent one to train women/girls to be wary of men/boys...

Next you'll be saying that all men and boys over a certain age need to have a 6pm to 7am curfew of not leaving their homes imposed on them just because women/girls might be frightened about men/boys walking down the street behind them at night.

Or that all boys in schools need to stand up in front of all girls and apologise for just being boys...

And before you say this is BS, both have happened in 2021. In the UK huge numbers of feminists right up to a senior member of the UK government demanded that all men/boys in the UK had a curfew imposed on them simply because ONE man raped and killed ONE woman...

And in Australia all the boys in an elite high school were made to stand up in front of the whole school and apologise to all the girls for simply being boys.

This is what you're saying we need to teach our daughters....

  • With men, if there’s a problem people like you blame all men for the individual mans bad behaviour. If it’s a female issue you demand society has to overcome it.

  • The horror of feminism is that it created a whole class called “The Victim Class”. It is not real. It can’t be cured, as long as it defines women as the perpetual victim of men.


“Only a minority of feminists actually want to kill all men”- And? Only a minority of men actually rape. Therefore women shouldn’t be scared of men. Do you now see how sexist your logic is to claim they should be?

[–]Greg_W_Allan 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

I haven’t said anything about teaching your daughter that all men are inherently evil.

You don't need to when there's a very powerful political ideology doing it constantly with full cooperation from media and education systems.

[–]throwawayagain0262 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

Right, fair enough. Do you have any thoughts about the rest of my comment?

[–]Greg_W_Allan 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Why? Most of it is wrong or hyperbolic. For example...

men searching video footage of it on porn sites

Women are far more likely to seek rape related porn.

[–]shrickertt 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

that's the funniest part of the whole thing. they tried to say that men are into “rape, crying”, etc, when it's already been proven that women watch those types of porn at alarmingly high rates, higher than men do as well.

[–]throwawayagain0262 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Picture this: horny 12 year old finds porn for the first time. Front page shows rough crying rapey porn. Kid’s first impression of sex/porn. Is horny, so masturbated to it bc it’s the first vid they find. Begins conditioning their brain to respond to those front page videos by being aroused. Results in girls being aroused by being treated that way, and boys being aroused by treating women that way. This whole gen z being obsessed with “daddy dom” shit isn’t just random, it’s absolutely influenced by the front page porn kids start consuming like as soon as they can find porn. I had the epiphany I’d trained my brain to like the terrible stuff happening to women after years of watching porn. Heard the same from other girls. Also, while it’s fucked, it’s objectively less harmful for women to be super into being treated roughly than it is for men to treat others roughly, so even if more women search rape porn than men, the men who are into that are more likely to do something bad to another person. The women who want to be treated that way will just let people do that to them privately.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

F out of here will you ? So many assumptions after assumptions, you might as well be talking about elfs and orcs here like they are real people. It's absolutely dogsht how many assumption you have made in a single comment just to get to the result that women are angels who would never do anything bad even if they do more of same thing that men do. I already told you earlier regarding porn that just because a women watches horse dick porn doesn't mean she will actively look for or that as soon as she spots a horse her first thought will be how to fuk that horse.

[–][deleted]0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It isn’t assumptions this actually happens lol imagine if your daughter’s first porn experience at age 12 was “barley legal teen gags on cock and gets gaped and destroyed”. In her head, a) that’s what sex is like for women and should be arousing, and b) that’s what men imagine when they look at her. She is now armed with the knowledge that there is a good chance that adult men existing around her have fapped to that kind of porn or fantasized about young women like her that kind of scenario. It’s humiliating, scary, and devaluing, and then when men stare at your body in the workplace or touch your shoulder or make a sexual innuendo, you have no reason to believe they’re no thinking about those kinds of things.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Wtf there is huge age gap between 12 year olds first porn video and a women working in office. Also how are people responsible for what's in her head. And the most F ed up thing is that you talking lije as if everything is 100% guarenteed to happen. There is not just one type of porn in the world. There are different kinds. Just like there is not just one kind of genre in almost anything. Why are you cherry picking everything?

[–][deleted]0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’m trying to make the point that from a very young age, girls realize that lots of men do perverted stuff to women, and some women even experience it firsthand, thus #MeToo and why women are wary of men, because we learn from a young age that lots of men are interested in doing bad stuff to women. Again re: porn, homepages often feature humiliating, painful, or otherwise dehumanizing content. It isn’t niche and extreme/kinky anymore, mainstream porn features slapping, choking, gagging, spitting on, hurting, and otherwise humiliating women, which leads women to believe that that’s how me truly see women, and what they really want out of them. It’s all connected (porn, workplace harassment, 12 year old girls and adult women), it isn’t completely unrelated.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't bring porn up cuz porn literally creates its own demand even when there is no none for it and it's probably only one of its kind that can do this. Just because some women searched up horse dick doesn't mean they will all search horses nearby and have sex with them.

[–]Enzi42 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

I’m not the person you asked to respond but I am someone who has read this comment chain and been pretty irritated/disgusted at the way you talk about men and then resort to sarcastic attacks when challenged.

I am genuinely curious about something though, assuming that you aren’t trolling:

Multiple times you have asked the men here to imagine the messages our hypothetical daughters would receive upon reading this and also asked us to conduct ourselves in a way that would be beneficial to them.

So, with that in mind I would ask you—what sort of message does your assertion that most men desire to dominate, humiliate and hurt women send to your hypothetical son?

Saying “women ruined the workplace” is not something I’d want a daughter to hear, but I’d argue many of your sentiments here are far worse for a boy to hear from his mother/father.

Of course plenty of parents (I would argue feminist ones in particular) don’t care what kind of hateful anti male messages their sons receive. But I’d hope you would at least give some thought to this since you brought up the idea of the impact on children.

TLDR: Do you think about how your son would be affected by anti male messages and ideology the way you ask us to think about a daughter?

[–]throwawayagain0262 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

I’m trying to think about that more now. I didn’t as much as I should’ve. Thanks for reminding me to.

[–]Enzi421 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well I’m glad I at least made you think. I’ll be honest a lot of your opinions disgusted and angered me (and I noticed several other people) but I suppose I have to give credit that you are willing to listen and consider other opinions. That’s not a common thing in these dark days unfortunately.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Sure. Something I should mention is, in middle and high school, I knew a lot of boys who were into rough, humiliating, painful-for-women porn, hentai, finding leaked nudes of celebrities, etc. So I also can’t confidently say that I think it’s very unlikely a teenage boy will not ever be interested in weird, creepy, sexual shit. I think it’s fair to say that a lot of teenage boys, and men, look at girls and women and imagine compromising, degrading sexual scenarios. Not always, but also not never. So I agree that it’s harmful to teach teenage boys that “all men are evil and trash and want to rape women,” and while some corners of feminism seem to promote this, I think the general narrative is “time and time again we are shown that there are some men who want to do weird, not very nice sexual stuff to women” (look at porn, true crime, etc.), and so we need to be cautious when socializing boys. Women can turn out to be bad too, don’t get me wrong, but this conversation is specifically in response to men verbally or physically doing unwarranted sexual stuff toward women.

[–]Enzi421 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well this conversation certainly took a very odd and different turn than I expected. It’s not your fault it’s just not where I expected this to lead.

Speaking as a man who was once a teenage boy, yes there are a lot of sexual scenarios I imagined in my mind. Some of them ranged from cringe worthy to outright weird (although they never involved rape).

I am aware of course that many such teenagers fantasies abound with much darker things than I could have imagined. And I’m going to say something controversial—there’s nothing wrong with that.

Filtering through a host of sexual scenarios in one’s mind, during those formative years, is how we learn what we like or don’t like, what we are attracted to and even who we are attracted to. It’s no accident many people realize they are gay in their teenage years.

I do agree that a certain amount of these boys will grow to become sadistic in their desires and preferences. That’s just a statement of fact. But even then I don’t entirely think that this is bad or evil in and if itself. There are ways to channel these “deviant” urges productively—look at BDSM and the people who flock to that lifestyle.

The problem is that an even smaller amount of those aforementioned boys will go on to actually harm women. Again I acknowledge this is true.

But I don’t think that policing or attempting to regulate the sexual development of boys is even close to the right answer practically or morally. Who gets to decide what is healthy sexuality? Who is in charge of programs to ensure this sexuality is properly developed? And how is deviation from this approved sexual nature punished?

No that brings up the specter of conversion therapy and elevates it to dystopian levels,

I think the only “right” response honestly is to just teach boys consent and sexual etiquette just as one would teach girls. Also teach girls that there are some men who could be dangerous due to the world being a dangerous place—I actually don’t have a problem with that in moderation.

As a boy I was taught to be careful around how I acted with girls I did not know because some of them could falsely accuse me of sexual harassment if there was any suspicion of impropriety and it came down to their reputation or mine. So I’ve never had a problem with “Shrodinger’s rapist”. I just don’t like when we take these common sense teachings and turn them into gender hatred or enforce double standards.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I hear what you’re saying. The primary point I’d like to respond with is that, as a young girl discovering the Internet, and seeing all of this unfiltered, uncensored content and how many men consume it, comment on it, and support it, it’s really difficult not to feel a little uneasy, or to ignore the idea that there is a strong chance men are looking at you and imagining those things you see online happening to you. Then (while this is a hobby I actively choose to indulge in, and is likely a social circle that discusses this stuff more than normal), if you’re like me and very interested in true crime, you hear story after story of rape and murder and sexual torture from everyday men who are otherwise unsuspecting. I feel like men responding to #MeToo by saying that they are frustrated that women have the ability to accuse them of doing something sexually motivated and perverted ignores the fact that uncensored communities like the Internet are FILLED with men creating and circulating content of women being abused, humiliated, hurt, or fetishized for existing. Again, this is just my experience, and I would never in a million years falsely accuse a man (I think those people are vile), but rather than this being a man-hating movement, it’s a response to women being bombarded with the knowledge that men want to do weird sex stuff to them more then they want to do it to men. Even violent rape scenes in TV and movies are often made sexual, and there’s lots of nudity and sex in violent horror movies where women are murdered. It’s learning time and time again that, when left unchecked, men at least think about doing things that you don’t want done to you when they look at you. If I could confidently say “I don’t think a single man I’ve met has fantasized about gagging deepthroat or gaping anal or loli hentai or looked at me and imagined rough sex,” I’d feel differently about all of this, but unfortunately, I can’t say that. I know those are extreme examples, but I know they aren’t uncommon. Its a little scary especially when you’re a teen or preteen and know adult men picture this happening to you, even if they don’t talk about it.

[–]Enzi421 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It took me a while to respond since I wanted to give some thought about this and be in a place where I can actually respond to individual points.

I can certainly understand and empathize with the internet opening a window into the minds of the opposing gender and finding things you really wish you hadn't.

While it certainly isn't violent sex or torturous fantasies, I can say that reading the dehumanizing language, self-righteous justifications for cruelty and generally anti-male ideology rampant on the internet changed how I viewed women.

It hasn't made me hate them by any stretch of the imagination but it has definitely reduced my viewpoint that we are somehow natural allies all pulling together for the same cause along with some other drastic alterations of my previous thinking. I certainly have wondered, more than once, if seemingly kind and normal women I'm interacting with either believes or consumes a lot of the hateful op-eds, twitter posts or media directed against men.

Now, I happened to be a young adult (mid-twenties) when this revelation occurred and I had been on the internet for a long time by this point. I'd imagine that discovering the uglier fantasies of men in one's preteens would have been more jarring since it comes with a whole lot of other revelations at once.

Anyway the point I'm making is sort of a repeat of what I said previously. I don't feel that women are unjustified for being cautious of strange men just as I don't really believe men are unjustified for being wary and taking means to protect themselves from potential life-ruining/ending false accusations. Everyone knows stories of rape and murder against women, and I have seen the fallout and chaos of false accusations in the lives of people I know.

The problem is when people take it too far, turn it into a campaign of hatred and go overboard...and since people can't seem to do anything in moderation, that's why this problem occurs again and again.

​

Speaking of which...

​

I feel like men responding to #MeToo by saying that they are frustrated that women have the ability to accuse them of doing something sexually motivated and perverted ignores the fact that uncensored communities like the Internet are FILLED with men creating and circulating content of women being abused, humiliated, hurt, or fetishized for existing.

I'm a little confused by this statement but I also had some things I wanted to say about it. First of all, #MeToo wasn't created because of gruesome and objectifying porn, it was made because of a hidden epidemic of real assaults and the failure to bring the perpetrators to justice. I'm...not really sure why you are equating that to violent pornography and men's inner thoughts?

That aside, the pushback against MeToo and the pushback against that is something I find interesting and incredibly frustrating. First of all, yes, MeToo has opened a gateway for a larger influx of false accusations. It's true and I feel we have every right to take measures to protect ourselves from that.

A lot of the flak men take for trying to protect themselves from the possibility of being accused seems to come in two distinct forms. The first is honestly a weird mirror-image of when men get irritated that a woman is being cautious around him and rages that he would never do anything dangerous, and he is being unfairly singled out.

In both cases (the woman trying not to get assaulted and the man trying to not get MeTooed) are trying to protect themselves. The angered party is putting their ego above the fear of the other person and seeing only their bruised feelings when the price of relaxing one's guard can be devastating. I'd argue the solution is to communicate and try to understand where each member of the arrangement is coming from on a case-by-case basis.

Now...the second response from women towards cautious men is far less defensible and I think completely unjustifiable. The original article in this thread and the reddit thread linked in this OP is full of this.

Large changes bring about unintended consequences for everyone involved. In the case of MeToo the social landscape changed drastically and became a lot more fraught with potential danger where men are concerned. Women won a victory in terms of getting their plight of sexual harassment taken more seriously but at the cost of having to endure being looked at with a wariness that wasn't there before. It's somewhat of an exchange in a way, like winning a great fight but being injured a little in the process.

But some don't want to be "injured" for the sake of this victory. They feel that they are entitled to a flawless win where everything goes completely in their favor. The only changes to be made are on the men's side, because men were the wrong ones in the first place. Why should the victims be forced to make any sort of concessions or endure any hardships at all when carrying out their righteous mission?

The first type of resentment towards cautious men (feeling personally attacked when a man expresses fear about being falsely accused) is something that can be worked past with communication and open-mindendess. But the attitude I just described won't change because it's rooted in terminal self-righteousness and a refusal to budge in any way.

​

Anyway that's just my feelings on MeToo and false accusations. I had some more but I think I'm just kind of done for now. I'm sorry if it came off as a ramble since false accusations aren't an issue I think of a lot (I'm more concerned with the demonization of men in the media and the entitlement to our resources and labor). I guess it was a good exercise in stretching my mindset and a good civil conversation.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Thanks for your response. I’ve read your whole comment, and I was civil and insightful. I appreciate it. I won’t be responding in depth, but I hear you, and understand better now. Thanks again.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’ll bet you won’t be responding in depth. Too many feminists think it’s fine for women to protect themselves against the “others” but it’s evil if a man does. And then they refuse to accept the “less comfortable” results of their own activism.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

And how many girls wanted to see naked pictures of male celebrities when they were unknown and desperate? As a kid I remember Sylvester Stallone tried to stop the publication of such pictures. Who bought them? Just gay men???

And women DO look at men “up and down”. They may be (mostly) less obvious about it, but I’ve noticed them doing it to me in the past. Have you really never done this?

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

All I can say is if you have both a son and a daughter one day, I 100% guarantee that you’ll feel a bit more nervous about how older men look at your daughter’s teenage body than how older women look at your teenage son’s body. I don’t need to elaborate further.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Stop pretending women do not do that. I’m sure you have, which is why you’ve suddenly gotten defensive and varied the comment.

As for the rest. Men are more likely to commit serious crimes. Men are also more likely to do certain other things that are considered positive. But you are happy to characterise men by the fact that they commit most of appalling crimes; but the positive that are mostly “male” you condemn as being due to sexism, and women would do equally if not more but the “evil patriarchy” is stopping them.

[–]ZS_1171 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

it is extremely unlikely, but its even more unlikely if she thinks logically and doesn't trust strangers

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

Most you mean. And that’s how you see men. Perhaps that’s the kind of guy you’re attracted too. Perhaps you need to examine why you’re attracted to bad boys!

[–]throwawayagain0262 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

I’m in a loving long term relationship with a normal dude who spends very little time thinking or talking about how malicious women are, or how worried he is of getting falsely accused. I acknowledge that there are excellent men in the world, and it’s absolutely possible to avoid the bad ones, but bad men do really bad things. Bad women do bad things too, but not in the same way. It’s a different kind of bad. I can elaborate if you don’t know what I mean.

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Good. I’m glad we can agree about that. Part of the “different way” women do evil things is to slander others and get others to do evil things to the objects of their malice. Which is where false allegations, especially in the age of #metoo, the misuse of restraining orders and other forms of abuse come into it. I know for a fact that it’s much easier to get a restraining order (at least an interim one) than many seem to believe. You just need to say the right things and have an “oh I’m scared” disposition. This also debases the whole concept. Even worse are the frankly criminal lawyers who get their clients to take out these orders to improve their payout in divorces!

Yet feminists are totally unconcerned about this. To the point they condemn it even being mentioned as somehow “endangering women”! I know that in at least one case, a violence restraining order (an interim VRO) was awarded when the applicant admitted there was not only no history of violence (which the editorial in our main newspaper insisted was necessary to get one) but she admitted he’d never yelled at her or even raised his voice! If he hadn’t objected, it would have become a “final order” 3 weeks later. So it is clearly possible for such an order to be made with zero evidence of violence!

If feminists were “for real” about NOT hating men and only believing in equality they wouldn’t oppose examining how such orders are misused, and what can be done to stop vexatious orders (such as punishing those who make them), even if it’s to stop the orders that are needed being swamped vexatious ones. But no. Feminists instead are seeking to increase what can be done on the say so of a woman, up to the point of serious criminal conviction! This is what led to things like the Mark Pearson case, where he was prosecuted even though it was quite clear he could not have done what the woman claimed! But I see no concern from feminists about this case at all!

[–]throwawayagain0262 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself “Why do people believe women when they accuse men of rape or assault?” It’s because it isn’t far fetched. People wouldn’t believe those horrible shitty women who falsely accuse if it was completely unbelievable that a man would EVER rape a woman. Those who create false accusations are inarguably terrible, slimy, and purely evil. With that in mind, if we lived in a world where a woman said “He assaulted me!!!” and everybody could, in unison say “A man? Rape??? Have weird sexual desires toward a woman? Yeah right, that would literally never happen.” Can’t say that, can we. Lol. Men are creating this problem for themselves. Even if you’ve never raped anybody, there are a LOT of people who look like you and are part of your demographic that have, and continue to do so. Fight to make sure that it’s very unlikely that men sexualize violence, then nobody will have any reason to believe false accusations.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You need to reread your comment. How about I told you to “fight to make your whole gender not go around and slander other people to destroy them and misuse legal means meant to protect those at genuine risk to cause hurt to someone or destroy them in divorce cases”. Feminists are outraged at the very suggestion. You can’t control other women any more than I can control other men. I certainly can’t control criminals. Do you think I secretly want my car stolen, or to be assaulted outside a pub or mugged on my way home from work, or have my house ransacked? Your argument essentially says these things only happen because I allow other men to do these things! That’s how ridiculous it is.

As a woman, I’m sure you don’t like it when some jaded poster comes on here declaring that all women are users, gold diggers, liars, manipulators, are entitled harpies and various other negative labels. Even if you’re aware that there are women who do this, is it really your fault that they do it? Are you really allowing them to do this? And then think of what you said above looks like from our perspective. The misuse of restraining orders and false allegations to gain advantage or smear is a bit different since feminists actively deny it’s an issue and try to prevent any real discussion of the issues, and actively try to increase what can be done on accusation alone.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It’s not just criminals that do bad things, there are plenty of men that do shitty stuff who are otherwise average dudes. In college, my friend had a guy follow her back to her dorm and wouldn’t leave until she kissed him. I knew another guy who explicitly talked about how he prefers naive, innocent, younger women because they’re easier to control. I went to a party once, and the host texted everybody asking them to leave before pulling out his dick and making me touch it. I have a family member who had a boyfriend that would choke and assault her, so she had to run away. I’m not just talking about the worst of the worst; I’m talking about men who have been poorly socialized and likely don’t think of women as human beings.

As for your generalization, I hear that generalization made all the time, and my response isn’t “I’m not one of those women so I need to try and prove why that’s all a lie.” I’ve met women like that, I know you’re not wrong. Not quite on topic, but if you think about it, the reason women ever became gold diggers, liars, and manipulators is because, since they couldn’t have jobs or bank accounts, they needed to do all of those things to extract resources. Those are still the bad/shitty women, but that’s why those tendencies developed. Men are physically stronger and were historically the only ones able to work, so that was how the shitty women expressed their evilness. While women can get jobs and bank accounts now, a demographic’s entire mentality doesn’t change over the course of a couple decades. So maybe it’s safe to say that evil men tend to wish to extract sex by force, whereas evil women wish to extract resources by manipulation?

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Why do you persist in that “women weren’t allowed to have jobs or bank accounts” nonsense? I mean seriously it’s so obviously untrue that women “weren’t allowed to work or have bank accounts” before the 60’s I’m amazed anyone has the gall or pure ignorance to say it.

Plenty of women worked, especially during the Second World War. Some companies/organisations had a policy to not employ married women (the railways in my state changed their policy on this because the general manager wanted to keep my mother as his secretary after she got married), but many (most?) did not. Women were more limited in the jobs they held, there were very few female engineers and far fewer female doctors and lawyers for example, but to say women weren’t allowed to work at all is so obviously false I can’t believe you feel comfortable posting it.

And as for bank accounts. I’m quite sure this comes from some contemporary woman looking at an old application form for a credit card and seeing a counter signature space for the husband, or something like that. And got confused because they’re used to a “bank card” meaning a key card for ATMs and EFTPOS. Bank accounts didn’t normally come with cards. A savings account used to have a passbook, literally a small book a bit like a passport. You’d go into the bank, and the teller would add up your deposit, or your withdrawal, and correct your balance, and stamp the value of the new amount (with the date) on the passbook. This lasted into the 90’s in some places and was how people did banking in the ‘60’s and before. There were no electronic transfers. People got paid either in cash (the armoured car bringing the payroll if the number of workers was large enough) or by cheque. All payments at the supermarket were in cash. Only a few regular customers were allowed to pay by cheque in most shops due to the risk the cheque would bounce. A very different world. Utterly alien to the experience of the average Tumblr feminist.

And here is one of my beefs with feminism. They start with what is true: women were much more restricted in the jobs they could have before the ‘60’s (although it was mostly social pressure) and often were paid less for the same role. They also had strong pressure to leave work when they became wives, and certainly mothers (this continued into the ‘70’s at least). But this isn’t enough for feminists. They have to exaggerate this out of all reality: women were forbidden to hold jobs; women weren’t allowed to have a bank account. It is utterly ridiculous to claim that a woman needed her husband’s “permission” simply to have a bank account after the passage of the Married Women’s Property Act. Credit cards are a loan, and in a world where most married women were housewives, the bank needed legal guarantees that the husband (mostly the prime earner) would be good for her debts. In many cases married couples (like my grandparents) had a joint account. So both parties would be required to agree to add a credit card to that anyway. Women have had issues (and still do) but keep it real and in proportion.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Fine, women were highly discouraged from being financially independent and subsequently, most were dependent, and this divide between women and men has not yet been completely eradicated because it’s still comparably recent.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Good. The expectation was that women would marry the “right guy”, have children, take care of them and keep the house, and he’d earn the money. If she had to work, the implication was that he wasn’t earning enough to support his family and was “failing as a man”. I used to get that sort of thing from my grandmother.

That’s enough surely? Why make up garbage about women not being allowed to work at all. Single women worked, as did newly married women as the couple were establishing themselves. Even in the ‘50’s women made up a high proportion of teachers (a good proportion of them were married). They were virtually all nurses, most secretaries, a lot of receptionist and typists (I’m the days before wordprocessors many companies needed typing pools to generate their documents). It’s so blatantly untrue that women “weren’t allowed to work” it’s an affront that anyone would make the claim or be so ignorant as to believe it. And I’m shocked that a woman as intelligent as you could be suckered into this.

But this is the issue I have with feminism. It isn’t enough to say women were more restricted and there was an expectation that men would be in charge and women were to “help him”. They have to make up s#it about women being forbidden to work, and not allowed to have bank accounts! And this is from a time still well within living memory. Simply taking to a parent or grandparent should settle it. And yet it’s just taken for granted and gets taken for granted by feminists. What other garbage are they buying?

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Also I just really don’t understand the whole “I’m not part of the problem personally and so I want to disprove it.” I’m a white person, and I’ve never once felt attacked or villainized when people of colour say “hey sometimes white people can be shitty and have done horrible things to us in the past, and some still do.” The way I feel about that is like “fuck, you’re right, I’ll try to check myself and shut down my white friends who say passive, subtle racist stuff to try to make the world better and have less stuff for POCs to be concerned or frustrated with.” Idk that seems like an easy enough response to me.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Feminists do not say “some” they just say “men”. They also use this as justification for active and perpetual discrimination against men in employment, in education, in divorce proceedings, and legally.

As for your “POC analogy”. The analogy is not with those who say what you’ve claimed, but the Louis Farrakhan type who says the white man is the devil, irredeemably evil, that every single white person on the planet personally owes them not only an apology but also massive and ongoing reparations through the rest of time! That’s (at best) how feminism represents men (individuals who see themselves as feminists don’t necessarily do, but the collective does represent us that way).

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I feel like your primary impression of feminists and POC groups stems from the far corners of the Internet, not from real people. very few people have the “every white man is evil” approach. Either you’re just projecting and interpreting it that way, or you’re socializing with the wrong circles. I’ve never met a POC or POC supporter in real life who says all white people/white men are evil, I’ve only seen those people online…

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Of course there’s “POC” groups like that. I didn’t try to claim they all were, or even most were. But I am saying that feminist groups claims about men ARE like those types, and not the quote you gave. You’re making the wrong analogy.

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

As for women doing evil things in a different way. There are women who commit horrific acts of pure sadism. Fewer in number than men who do this, but men are more prominent on the “extremes” of all forms of human behaviour. If you don’t believe me, look up these two examples of unbelievably evil women I can think of off of the top of my head: Bernadette McNeilly and Claire Nicholls. What these women did is absolutely unbelievable and they weren’t enthralled to some evil man, the excuse used by many others such as Myra Hindley. Should we judge women by them?

[–]throwawayagain0262 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Ted Bundy Ed Kemper Willy Pickton The Toolbox Killers The Golden State Killer Israel Keyes Luka Magnotta The Junko Furuta case Jeffrey Dahmer John Wayne Gacy Zodiac Killer Long Island Killer Charles Manson Richard Ramirez

While you’re right that there are a few women who have done these things too, I am 100% certain that you aren’t frequently worried about the women you meet being serial killers who want to rape and murder you. In fact, I bet you don’t ever even think about women serial killers except for when you want to prove to a feminist that women can do bad things, too. That’s the only time you ever think it’s worth mentioning them, is when you want to say “oh yeah well women are evil too, look at this handful of people in history.” Get a grip, you know deep down that the men you meet in the world are more likely, statistically, to have a desire to rape, assault, or otherwise harm people, specifically women and sometimes minors.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Interesting you included Manson, given most of those who went off and actually did the revolting murders were young women!

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I did say they were fewer in number.

But serial killers are a tiny proportion of the population. The chances that you’re going to meet one aren’t high. Much less actually be one of their victims.

[–]ZS_1171 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

trusting everyone is just a stupid idea in general. i'm not saying men are the only ones that do this, but because most men are heterosexual, and there are most with increased sex drive due to evolution, she is statistically more likely to be raped by a man than a woman. so no, she should not trust every man, thats bad advice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Double standards much ? Cuz what you said is exactly what's being followed by men but they are being called out for it. Not all women do false accusations and want to kill all men but enough do to warrant caution. The majority of women who actually supposed MRA are none other than wives/ mothers and daughter of falsely accused men which got thier life ruined even when it was proven as false and that there was no evidence.

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

Why would I want to teach my daughter (she’s 6) to “trust all men”? I do want to teach her how to defend herself and how to sift the wheat from the chaff as far as men are concerned. She does need to know there are genuinely evil people around, although she’s a little young to know how evil. But there’s plenty of nasty women too. Only feminists seem to think they must gender this: why do you?

[–]throwawayagain0262 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

There are plenty of nasty women, but not in the same way. Women are socially nasty, and better at deviously and maliciously navigating social systems. The bad men are the ones who want to rape and kill. It’s different. I’d be worried about a bad woman ruining my social status, starting a rumour about me, or otherwise bullying me. I’d be worried about a bad man wanting to rape and strangle me. Unfortunately, both things I just listed actually do happen and aren’t just wild scenarios. If you really think your daughter needs to be just as worried about what bad women will do to her as what bad men will do to her, you’re on another plane of existence my friend.

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

There are women who murder and torture. I’ve given a couple of names to you.

Feminists are amazing. They live to claim women can do anything and everything that men can do, and do it even better! But are in absolute denial when it comes to evil crimes. There most certainly are women who murder in the most vile manner, and who sexually abuse. There are many more men who do this of course: and feminists love to make this an absolute - men do these things and not women. But when it comes to interest in engineering or physical science: oh no, it must be prejudice that fewer women do this - leading to massive discrimination against men in hiring. I’m tired of the double standard, and I’m tired of the flat out denial by feminists that it even exists. You love the “nurturing, gentle” stereotype when it suits you, but pretend you hate it when it doesn’t (like women in the military). And distain, or even hatred of men comes through time and again, yet you constantly shout “misogyny”. You won’t even acknowledge the extensive man hatred in your movement and that’s implicit in much of the activism. If you genuinely don’t hate us, can you at least see why we get that impression?

[–]throwawayagain0262 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

You might consider the idea that women haven’t contributed to engineering or physical sciences as much as men because they literally couldn’t have bank accounts until the 1960s at the earliest lol. There’s been a lot of time for men to make great strides in the world because women werent allowed to do anything but be homemakers until the mid 20th century. And that doesn’t just change overnight; you can’t expect an entire demographic to suddenly have the knowledge, drive, and understanding to suddenly navigate a system that they weren’t allowed to be a part of for centuries. It’s slowly but surely changing, give it time. Women should be and are in the military if men are, I don’t know what feminists you’re talking about but they sure as hell aren’t the normal ones in real life; I think you’ve pulled your definition of “feminist” from the ones that screech on the Internet and get made fun of in men’s right communities, not real people. And if you want me to believe that women are just as likely to be heinous as men, then I’ll believe you when a random woman comes up to me at the club and asks if my boyfriend chokes and slaps me during sex, or if a random homeless woman were to ask me for birthday sex when I was 16 walking down the street, or if I were to listen to the newest episode of a true crime podcast and hear an episode about how an adult woman was discovered to have raped and murdered 5 seventeen year olds. When you have a daughter, you’ll know deep in your gut, whether you openly admit it or not, that she has 100% good reason to be skeptical of men before getting to know them. There are both women and men who exist in the world who have the innate desire to do bad, sexual things to other people, but there is an undeniably higher amount of men who are like this, and it’s not always possible to know which ones they are. You know it deep down, I know that you do; you’ve seen the porn that men watch, and you know it’s dehumanizing, humiliating, scary, and rough toward women. You’ve seen the front page videos that depict men slapping, choking, spitting on, gaggging, and gaping disturbingly young women. There’s a very thin veil hiding the (shockingly) high number of men who like that stuff. Not all men, but enough that it’s not always obvious which ones.

[–]throwawayagain0262 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

If you want me to believe that men aren’t worse (sexually) than women, then fine; tell other men in your life to stop being creeps. Report all porn videos you find depicting violence against women. Don’t be angry at women, because they didn’t create a system in which men prove time and time again that they are capable of rape, assault, and objectification; men made it, and the shitty, evil women that exist in the world are using it to their advantage. There are bad people in every demographic, and the bad womens’ way of being evil is by taking advantage of a system that’s already in place. Change it, and then they won’t be able to get any traction on their claims, and people will recognize that they’re desperate, lying, manipulative pieces of shit.

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

I see. Rapists rape because of “the system”!

And women don’t “objectify”? Are you for real? I remember my first real gf. I went to visit her and her housemate (before we were an item). They were sitting on their first floor balcony and the housemate mentioned their upstairs neighbour had taken off his shirt, and they both were rising out of their chairs to gawp at him!

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’ve never said women don’t objectify. Gawking at a shirtless dude is different from fapping to “barely legal teen gets gagged and gaped rough crying.” I’m not saying no women are sexually attracted to men; I’m saying that it’s very unlikely that a woman would see that shirtless guy and break into his house and rape/strangle him. If you want to say that it’s also unlikely that that would happen to a woman, it literally, statistically is not unlikely. If you get even mildly invested in true crime, you’ll hear story after story after story of men doing weird shit to women. They’re not cherry picked stories, they’re just real, normal stories, not ones promoted on feminist platforms.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Cherry picked stories are still real stories.

And I’m not trying to condemn my old gf or her housemate. Merely pointing out that it’s clear women “objectify” - it isn’t true that female sexuality isn’t “visual”! But it is a major claim of a great many feminists that men “objectify” women and women do not do this to men.

Regarding the specific porn you speak of. I’ve never seen anything like that. And not only does it not appeal to me, it’s clear it appeals to twisted minds. But what proportion of porn is actually like that?

Also what do you call “statistically unlikely”? I was always taught that the scenario you speak of (a stranger breaking in and raping a woman in her home) is by far the least common type of rape. That in most cases the rapist is at least known to the victim. Mary Koss also includes things like “sex under the influence” and “morning after remorse” to beef up the numbers. Seriously one is too many. And rape has been second only to murder in the crime statutes for a very long time in terms of the seriousness of the offence. So let’s say 1% of women will be subject to such an attack in their lifetime. Is that really “likely”?

It’s far too common. But a woman has to be unlucky to be so assaulted.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If you’re saying you haven’t seen porn like that or don’t know what I’m talking about, I think we live in very different worlds. I don’t have anything else to say in response to this comment right now in that case. Way different baselines of understanding the world.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

What’s your point? I don’t watch porn much and certainly have no interest in porn of that sort. And I’ve never had someone admit to watching it to me or direct me to it. How am I expected to “stop men from doing it” simply because I’m a guy when no one I know has ever admitted to me that that are drawn to this and I don’t watch it myself?

Do YOU watch it? Do you specifically seek it out?

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No, I didn’t ever watch porn as a teenager. I was dating a very nice and normal guy at the time who admitted to me that his favourite genre of porn was deepthroat until the girl puked. I hadn’t heard of that before, so I started going to porn sites to see what was going on there. The entire front page was messed up stuff like that lol. Lots of “barely legal” and “rough” and “destroyed” and stuff. Creepy.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Did you stay with him? And what do you see as “normal”? I don’t watch that stuff, but many girls labelled me as “creepy” mostly because I was awkward and inhibited. And a couple of them started quite slanderous rumours about me (that’s a long story). Should I despise women as a result of this?

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Not saying this applies to you, but maybe the reason women think of awkward shy men as creepy sometimes is because of all of the incidents we hear about where awkward and shy men turn out to be malicious.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Awkward and “shy” guys turn out to be “malicious”? Well Ted Bundy (whom you brought up earlier) was anything but “awkward and shy”, but he was definitely malicious! Studs (or Chads if you prefer) are certainly oozing in confidence. But when they’ve had their way with a girl and move on, or she finds out she’s just part of a whole set he’s seeing at the same time, how are things seen then? Funnily enough men in general are blamed!

In my case, the label was pushed because this little group of “born agains” had a member who was interested in a girl I also liked. Her housemate was part of this Hillsong aligned group. At first they sought to slander me as being “gay”. But then they switched gear and accused me of being “creepy” and spreading tall tales about me. All girls doing this. And I was then slandered to others who weren’t part of this, who then saw every action I did as being “really creepy”! All shaped by slander from one woman.

I’ve seen circles of women do this all the time to other women, including those they call friend (to their faces anyway). And I’ve seen them do it to force women out of jobs they they’ve taking some set against, or feel “threatened by”. It’s at least as common as guys watching creep porn. Should we just see women as being malicious backstabbers and liars? And these are the women weaponised by #Metoo and the various policy changes.

I certainly stay away from women at work, and certainly won’t be alone with them and will not work closely with them if I have a choice. There’s more of those women around than guys who sexually assault women. If women are justified in being fearful of sexual assault or misconduct, surely men have good reason to be very wary of malicious accusations don’t you think?

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’ll be honest, your response to my comment didn’t really contain much pertaining to what I’d said. I think you’re taking my words and trying to spin them in a way that you can redirect them back at me. You know just as well as I do that men aren’t afraid in their day to day lives of getting raped or assaulted by random women, you just want to say “oh yeah well women do it too, I’m not a bad guy stop trying to remind me that I’m part of a demographic that has a high proportion of rapists!” No matter what you say, I know that, deep down, you know what I’m saying about men being more likely to be sexually deviant and sexually scary/harmful is correct.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You claim it’s “the system” that has men rape, “be creeps” and the rest. As for restraining orders, the ever lower threshold of evidence for various crimes, the #Metoo witch-hunt. That is down to feminist activism! And feminists oppose ANY discussion of the misuse of this. A few years ago in Australia we had one of our Senators (a woman) seek to start an official enquiry into the misuse restraining orders and false allegations of violence and sexual assault to gain advantage in divorce settlements. Some former Family Court Judges confirmed that this is rampant. And who came out screaming blue murder to ensure no such official enquiry happened? The feminists. It was claimed such an investigation would “endanger women”, that it would somehow promote a “culture of violence” against them. And it worked. No enquiry was mounted!

When I see that feminist activists and pressure groups a) pushed for these mechanisms which weaponise these vicious people; b) oppose any investigation into this; c) declare that these systems are not misused and women “don’t do that sort of thing” and it’s not an issue to be concerned about; well then I do think feminists do have a significant responsibility in this don’t you?

[–]throwawayagain0262 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I said this in another comment, but I think I struggle to understand why the ones who do no wrong are so offended by the idea that they’re part of a demographic that does do wrong, and not infrequently (if you follow true crime or watch porn, you’ll know that plenty of men do/want to do fucked up sexual shit to women, they aren’t just the few degenerates in the corner of the globe, look at Max Hardcore, which was super popular before he was banned). I’m a white person, and I don’t feel defensive or offended when racial minorities say “white people have and continue to do awful stuff to racial minorities.” Like, even though I haven’t personally done those awful things, it doesn’t change the fact that my demographic (white people), sometimes does do awful things. I’d rather spend my time trying to educate other white people and to do my best as a human being than to be offended and try to prove why I’m personally not a bad person. I’ve never once seen a video of a racial minority being angry about white people and felt angry and like I had to prove why I wasn’t part of the problem. I just don’t get it lol

[–]ZS_1171 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

i kinda agree with both of you here. you should be cautious around women nowadays just in case they radical, but i think what maxlvb is saying goes a bit far. i don't have too many problems just *existing*.

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s not that simple though. I’ve been accused of being “creepy” without doing any of that. Women (in groups) have “b#tch sessions”, where one thing builds on another. I’ve actually seen it happen (referring to other women in the cases I’ve seen). In my case it started because one woman thought I was after her (I wasn’t) and another one made up a tale about me because she supported a colleague in pursuing her housemate, who I was interested in. Soon girls totally related to the situation, but involved with these women regarded me as “really creepy”. They saw what they were conditioned to see. And note this: I didn’t make any comments about being “hot”, touching in anyway at all, and so on. And as for this “looking up and down”, women do that all the time! They may be slightly less obvious about it, but I’ve noticed it.

One thing I’ve noticed with #Metoo is the lack of proportion which very rapidly crept into it. Hopefully it will mature into something that can differentiate between saying something “off” and virtual rape, or between bitchy comments about some guy someone’s got a grudge against and real actions. But we’re not there yet. And until we are, don’t be alone with a woman at work unless you’re really, REALLY sure of her.

[–]DIES-_-IRAE 36 points37 points38 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Feminsim Rule #2: All men are bad and want to hurt women.

[+]throwawayagain0262 -34 points-33 points-32 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

You should teach your daughter to trust all men! I don’t think anything bad will happen to her - she probably won’t get raped. It’s probably worth ignoring all of the true crime stories that exist though, as it’s, like, super common for men to be scary and want to do bad sexual shit to women, that’ll make it easier for her to trust them.

[–]DIES-_-IRAE 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for confirming Rule #2, and throwing some Rule #1 in there while you were at it :-)

[–]Saucesourceoah 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Either you’re a troll or a butthurt anti men’s rights person we’re here to avoid. If you had constructive input that would be one thing, but you’re spamming every comment calling it baseless and saying that yes, since a small ammount of men are bad then we all are. Kindly fuck off back to r/fds

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

This ! If I had a medal 🥇 I would have given it to you.

[–]Saucesourceoah 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

<3 we gotta stick together and spot the trolls and bots tryna split us apart. We have no enemy, we have no people to put down. All this community wants is to raise our brothers up and still there’s shills like this.

[–]BackAlleyKittens 56 points57 points58 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

Yes, I know how not to harrass women at work. But even if 0.000001% of them make false accusations then it's worth avoiding them.

[+]throwawayagain0262 -29 points-28 points-27 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

Yes, I know that not all men will rape me. But even if 0.000001% of them might want to rape me then it’s worth avoiding them.

[–]ApprehensiveMail8 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This phrase wouldn't bother me if the women who say things like this actually proceeded to actually avoid men.

Like, if you want to just leave us alone and keep to yourself, that's totally fine by me.

It's the aggressive confrontation directed at innocent parties that bothers me.

[–]DekajaSukunda 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I may be in the minority here but I find this perfectly reasonable tbh. My problem is more with people doing one while judging the other. I'm wary of women because of my bad experiences with them. If women do the same, that's fine with me.

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I get that. But we have feminist women advocating for women to see men as abusers and scream blue murder about men seeking to avoid unwitnessed time with women in the workplace. Who’s the hypocrite here?

[–]Big_Chocolate_420 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

maybe it's time to start listening what your parents told you: don't walk alone at night

the Knights sleep at night

if you are alone take a cap

don't take risks, I have no second you.

or as my martial arts teacher and police officer says: as soon as you leave your house you are surrounded by enemy's

or from game of thrones: the night is dark and full of horrors

or the evil resides in the shadow, but at night there is nothing but shadows/there is no shadow

being cautious at night is natural and everybody should be afraid of the dark. most guys get assaulted/injured/killed at night. most women get raped from strangers at night.

no woman should be afraid to be sexually harassed at work. But the false accuses are rising. also accuses through misinterpreted communication. cautious men are not the problem. overly cautious men will make it to a problem. Also women who take advantage with their bodily assets and then after they got the position they wanted ram the dagger in his bag with a metoo claim will work against the course feminism wants to fight for.

[–]Saucesourceoah 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, not all women will falsely accuse me of any myriad of sexual misconduct baselessly causing me to lose my career, friends, and life, but it only take one so it’s worth avoiding them. You see it from the other angle?

[–]whackyBuns 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

You're comparing apples and oranges, bucko

[+]throwawayagain0262 -17 points-16 points-15 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

notallwomen Why do men keep avoiding all of the good, nice women and only interacting with the crazy ones…if they just stopped going for Staceys then maybe they’d see that not all women are evil…only Staceys falsely accuse and hurt men.

[–]whackyBuns 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

But, not all women are evil...? You can't blame Joe for not knowing Kate was crazy, the same way you can't blame Kate for not knowing joe is misogynistic. Choosing a person is very circumstantial and subjective. I understand how you feel and I've felt the same way as a man. Concerning yourself with that kind of noise will just make you a Stacy.

[–]reddut_gang 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

notallwomen, but too many women

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Such a hypocrite you are. Do you not see what you are doing ? How should men know who are staceys and Karen's that accuse men of weird shit when women donnno who are men that might assault them ? How are we supposed to know who are good and nice women and women (for whom all these additional rules were made) can't even differentiate between good and rapey men.

[–]throwawayagain0262 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry forgot to add /s

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You forgot to add “with the full support of feminism”!

[–]210101210 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Read your own comment slowly and then check again what the post is about.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I totally agree with this though. Its probably only one of your comments that makes sense. People should be vary if other people for obvious reasons. Women can and should avoid even slightly suspicious men if they are afraid of being raped which naturally they could be. And men should be allowed to avoid women if they are afraid of facing false accusations of various kinds so that he doesn't face cancel culture to his entire life and people around him.

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Isn’t that what you’ve been saying though?

[–]mug-buliku 53 points54 points55 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Why is women being avoided by men a punishment?   Women aren't entitled to men's company, or acquaintanceship.

[–]BreakinLiberty 25 points26 points27 points 4 years ago (56 children) | Copy Link

They ruined the work place

They think men and women should act the same way to each other but men and women interact way differently and they take as harassment could just be the complete opposite

And then they wonder why men in the workplace avoid them…

[+]throwawayagain0262 -15 points-14 points-13 points 4 years ago (55 children) | Copy Link

Doesn’t this make you feel sad if you think about having a daughter and having her hear something like “women ruined the workplace?” Try to only say stuff about women that you’d want your daughter to hear and believe. Same goes for what people say about men, I don’t think it only goes one way.

[–]BreakinLiberty 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (31 children) | Copy Link

Well go and see how men interact with each other in male dominated workfields

Ie. Navy, oil fileds, alaskan fishing

You would be appalled at how the men interact with each other and most women would find it horrible but for men it’s how we interact

[+]Beltox2pointO -9 points-8 points-7 points 4 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

Look, I understand this mind set.

But if you think about it a little more, it's really a very poor excuse.

"Men treat other men like garbage, if women were treated that way they'd be appalled"

Maybe, just maybe... we shouldn't treat other men like that either and it's just an example of unironic toxic masculinity to participate in that behaviour and defend it's existence.

[–]asiwaritXR 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

but it's not toxic.

Men bullying the shit out of each other is one of the best parts of their interactions. Stifling that, or trying to do so, is sexist against the male culture.

Nobody cares about that, though.

[–]_unknownBeing_ 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

And us men do it in a friendly way

You wouldn't do this to a stranger unless you're a bad person or you know your friend doesn't like it (and if you still do it you're a bad person)

[–]Beltox2pointO 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

I feel sorry for the people in your life if you think bullying is the best part of "male culture"

Bullying is exclusionary and practically drowning in insecurities.

It is not a positive influence on people.

[–]asiwaritXR 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

When did I say best? Men teasing each other isn’t toxic.

[–]Beltox2pointO 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Are you unable to determine the difference in bullying and banter?

[–]asiwaritXR 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

That was the word I was looking for, ty

[–]Beltox2pointO 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

So did you intend to say banter in your original comment?

Because if you did, it undermines your point, quite heavily. Women are totally fine with banter.

[–][deleted]3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

yes i did

and no they arent

[–]Beltox2pointO2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Can't imagine why they'd be uncomfortable with your "banter".

[–][deleted]3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

When banter involves teasing, insulting, joking about dick sizes and swearing like a sailor whose leg just got ripped off then yes.

[–]Beltox2pointO2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So you don't really have a grasp on it. That's cool.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Grasp on what

[–]Beltox2pointO1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Exactly.

[–][deleted]0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Your cock is too small to grasp if that’s what you mean

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't get what you think men treat ither men as garbage ? I hate such kind of manipulative statements. The above comment only said that the way men treat eachother is unacceptable to women that doesn't mean the way women treat each other is acceptable to men either. Men would be appalled to if they say two women become enemies for life just cuz they both wore same shirt twice. Men and women are just different. In workplace currently the society is changing everything to cater to women cuz they are new to this and trying to make them comfortable by going above and beyond. Once they actually realise what effect this is having on men that would change as well.

[–]Angryasfk 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Guys react to each other in a different way than women do. That’s partly why women feel “out of it” if in an mostly male workplace. This works the other way round too! Get over this and the “women are wonderful” lie: women tear other women down all the time. The “Emily’s list” sisterhood only exists in male dominated fields. The world will make more sense when you realise this.

[–]Beltox2pointO -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey, if you've never worked in an overly masculine workplace, all you had to say was that.

[+]throwawayagain0262 -9 points-8 points-7 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

I don’t think that means women ruined the workplace, I think it means that they have a different approach to social interactions. I’m not sure what you’re describing, how men interact, is inherently the best and most normal way to exist in a workplace - it’s the traditionally masculine way, sure, but that doesn’t mean the way women are socially is wrong or worse…just different. Again, imagine having a daughter who wants to be a pilot and then her hearing you say “women ruined the workplace, they can’t handle men harassing them.” It’s sad, idk, she should be able to want to have a dope job and be confident in assuming that the men she’s working along aren’t fantasizing about her in compromising, humiliating sexual scenarios.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Ffs again with the daughter analogy do you have Nothing else constructive ? I agree till you said it's traditional masculine way. There was no need to say masculine there cuz for men it's not masculine it's just traditional way. Women did ruin the work place for men. Obviously women would feel the same way if men came into thier place and all kinds of new rules are being implied and they had to follow all of them cuz of them. In a different perspective imagine what it would be like if a company that is majorly women like in fashion industry 2 men started working there and all kinds of new rules like mandatory paid 2 hour overtime and being called to work on every weekend are being done cuz those two men have no issues with it and infact requested it cuz they wanna earn more and cuz they wanna climb the ladder faster.

[–]throwawayagain0262 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

So what you’re saying is men coming into a female-dominated industry and implementing higher pay/being allowed to work overtime without penalty is the same as women coming into a male dominated workplace and saying “hey I’d love to feel respected and not sexualized plz”? The former sounds pretty great, I feel like you’re referencing the idea that women hate overtime and long hours (thus why they get paid less), which I always find funny bc I’ve worked in retail and the food industry and almost 90% of women i worked with worked 2 jobs, overtime, 2 weeks on no breaks etc, just doesn’t reflect in stats the same way working 8am-6:00pm at a corporate gig might. I don’t see the comparison. I’m getting “women should’ve stayed in the kitchen” vibes here. Very 1940s of you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Wtf ? Why are you adding your own ahit to what I said then acting like I said it ? It's open and quite known fact that women work wayy less hours and are forced to do way less overtime or give up thier weekend for company that how much men do. Overtime will be treated with penality ? Higher pay ? What are you talking about ? F out of here with you BS Please if this is how your gonna discuss with false and imaginary statement. It is common knowledge that men are more inclined to be more work orientated than women. Yes there are exceptions here and there but exception don't NULLIFY STEREOTYPES. you must be talking about some first world country like Germany or Norway or Netherlands where they treat employees like human and not in places like I donno rest of the world where employees are treated like nothing but slaves working in air conditioned office. Regards to the women who you have worked with what about men there ? Are men allowed to the option to not work night shifts ? And to always leave on time becuase of reasons like have to pick up thier kids or to go to thier kids school for event? Because I sure know many companies that allow women to do so and only women. Or were the men who you were working with are suffering from the same difficulties you faced ? If so there is no inequality or discrimination there. But many companies do let women work less time than men and by that I mean not threaten them by saying if you don't work overtime I cannot guarantee your promotion even though you have worked here for 3+ years.

[–]Angryasfk 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s what she does. She’s wedded to the “men good, women bad” line, and the other lies of third wave feminism, including the obvious lie that women weren’t allowed to work or have bank accounts before the ‘60’s. Hopefully she’ll eventually learn reality and and get a more reasonable perspective.

Edit: “women good men bad”.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you got the anology wrong but yes I get what your saying.

[–]throwawayagain0262 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Have you seen the statistics about which spouse does all of the household chores, errands, grocery shopping, scheduling kids’ appointments, picking them up from school, etc.? Even with both women and men working full time nowadays, this responsibility still falls more on women because women are still perceived as homemakers even though they do full time work. In many instances, if wives/mothers didn’t schedule their kids’ haircuts, clean the house, buy the groceries, meal prep, it just wouldn’t happen. So it makes sense to me that they work less overtime. I can source you in this if you want.

If men want to take over household chores and leave work early while their wife works overtime, they should start taking that initiative.

And yes, at my places of work(retail, food service), women and men worked very similarly. I had one office job where my department manager was a woman who worked constantly without break, always overtime, and her husband would call her while she was at work when he was watching their kid to ask for advice on how to tend to the kid. Even while working, she was the primary homemaker and parent.

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Yabber yabber yabber.

These stats always exclude property maintenance. So mowing the lawn, fixing the roof, painting, extending the house, installing new items are never included. Nor is work on the car, such as changing the oil. And I’m sick of the feminist idea that if I do a 60 hour week (it averages 58 hours) I’m not “doing my share” if I don’t do “equal vacuuming” and washing up with my other half who’s home all the time!

Her mother accused me once of insisting dinner be on the table at x o’clock. I’d never, EVER done that. Usually I’d cooked! I’m sick of feminist fantasies being imposed. And feminist data manipulation.

[–]throwawayagain0262 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I’d rather mow the lawn once a week than do laundry, dishes, kids’ appointments, haircuts, plan social events, and cook 3 meals 7 days a week.

[–]Angryasfk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Three meals per day, seven days a week? Sounds like the farmers wife in a period drama! Pouring corn flakes into a bowl is the most common form of preparing breakfast today.

And laundry itself isn’t the exhausting chore it was in earlier times. Middle class Americans (and this is mostly who feminists are whining about) typically have fully automatic washing machines (and dishwashers) and from all accounts I’ve been told, put the laundry straight into the dryer, don’t even hand it on a line! Few still live in the days of the copper, the wash tub, the scrubbing board and hanging it on some clothes horse near the fire to dry them in winter! And stats say that their man typically does do a significant part of that too, yet they also work longer hours in paid employment!

Feminists don’t care about them working longer hours. They just want them to get paid less for doing it, or give up their job for a “more deserving woman” (she’s female so she must be “more deserving”), and do equal amount of in-house domestic chores and still do the lions share of the outside chores. And you claim to be only interested in “equality”? I’m not sorry to say I don’t buy that.

I think feminists have an idealised idea of what men’s lives are like. And professional feminists seek to manipulate the data to try and make reality fit their fantasy. And also seem quite rooted in some stereotypical notion of the ‘50’s, and imagine this is the world today.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

All I can say is I think we’ve had very different life experiences. I think our ground zero must be so incomparable that this discussion will forever go in circles. I don’t think that men have some magic patriarchy shield that protects them from all of the harms in the world and that women/feminists are always the victims in every situation. I think men have it rough and plenty of them have a harder life than I do. I want to loop back around to the idea that I think the basis of most of women’s hardship has to do with things regarding sex and sexuality. Anything and everything to do with sex (sex work, sex crimes, reproductive rights, porn, workplace harassment) is primarily related to women. Not 100% of the time, but most of the time. Most of men’s hardship has to do with financial problems and their social status/how socially accepted they are. The root of your hardships depends a lot on your gender amongst other things, and I feel like this post and this sub in general do not acknowledge that from like age 12 onward, sex and sexualization and reproduction and everything in that sphere becomes, like, a big and defining part of women’s lives. Even if we don’t live in the 50s anymore, and women can have jobs and bank accounts and all of that, there is still a societal divide between how people interpret the genders, and how the genders interpret themselves. Women don’t have it worse than men in all spheres, I just want to drive home that in regards to sex and the private sphere and everything in that realm, there’s more weird stuff that happens to women, and women are not at an advantage in that regard. I’ll change my mind about this when grown men stop ogling 12 year olds who developed early. Just know that when you have a daughter, she will be hyper aware of how sexy or not sexy she is from a very young age onward, and will have older men talking to her and hitting on her. Old men will try to talk to her online, I 10000% guarantee it. My friend and I, just to see what happened, once made a fake tinder account and would start messaging men in their 40s and 50s and telling them we were 15 years old after we had matched (profile said 26 or something). You know what happened? Out of 22 men, 2 said they didn’t want to talk to us. The other 20 said they liked that we were 15 and wanted to keep us as their little secret. They’d initiate sexual conversations and want to come meet us. It was nearly impossible to find a man that age who didn’t want to fuck a 15 year old if he knew that no one would find out. I’ll change my mind about everything I’ve said if one day I can make a fake tinder account, say I’m 15, and have every single adult man turn me down immediately. Then I’ll change my mind about women being disadvantaged in the sexual sphere. To summarize, men are not inherently protected from all harm in the world, and don’t oppress women, but specifically regarding sex and sexualization and arousal, women are the primary demographic involved in that whole conversation, and are disadvantaged.

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yabber yabber yabber.

Who said “our way is the best”? Do you think your way (with back biting and duplicitous women all around) is the best?

[–]throwawayagain0262 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No I just think it’s okay for women to exist as women in the workplace and for men to exist as men in the private/family sphere. Neither ruins the other.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Here in this group, we DO let each other explain our feelings, and fears. This is our place to do that. It is not a place for a young woman to be browsing, unless they're able to hear these truths. It's sad that you think we need to "dumb it down" for the sake of someone daughter, when these issues are realities in our world. How about we be honest and real with our daughter, instead.

Are you aware that what you're doing is called "victim shaming"?

[+]throwawayagain0262 -13 points-12 points-11 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

In the context of this post alone, what I’m hearing is that you feel victimized because you’re concerned that women will falsely accuse you of rape. The primary reason that women can get away with that bullshit is because plenty of men do, in fact, rape; men doing weird sexual shit to women isnt just a myth pulled out of feminists’ asses lol, it’s grounded in what actually happens. I’d say be angry at both the piece of shit women who falsely accuse AND the piece of shit men who actually do rape and prove time and time again that this isn’t a myth, it actually does happen, and regularly. If you think #MeToo was just made up to punish men, we are on way different planes of existence.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I feel victimized because I have been victimized. I was a victim of false accusations by a woman, in the workplace. It isn't a myth, pulled out of a unicorns ass. It's a fact.

It's pretty obvious that you think men are not the victims of false allegations made by women. #MeToo is bullshit, and made up to punish men.

Yeah, we're on different planes of existence.

[–]throwawayagain0262 -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I’m sorry that happened to you. Isn’t it fair to say that there are shitty women who falsely accuse AND shitty men who rape?

I think men who are falsely accused are victims, and I apologize for not supporting that sentiment as outwardly as I should have. I do think, though, that there is a shockingly high number of men out there who actually do rape, which then gives the #MeToo movement traction; saying that there is not a disturbingly high amount of sexually charged crime against women is just not true. #MeToo and feminism is in response to something that existed before it, those two things weren’t just invented because all women are psychos (though some people really are crazy pieces of shit). All I’m trying to get at is that men raping women is what led to this whole mess of a debacle to begin with. Across the globe, humiliating, dehumanizing, painful porn of barely legal teen girls is, like, insanely popular and normalized; men wanna do bad stuff to women, and lots of them who were poorly socialized actually do that bad stuff. It’s not fair that this has resulted in women being able to falsely accuse men, but it also isn’t fair that lots of men rape women and want to treat them like how they’re treated in porn.

[–]Rolaid-Tommassi 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It sounds to me that you're conflating rape with workplace harassment. (I'm not intending to be combative, just curious) Women rarely get raped at workplaces but #metoo seems to be equating dirty jokes at work with actual rape. I should also point out that many healthy relationships are formed at the workplace; if a relationship is successful, that's courtship, if it doesn't become a relationship, is that harassment/rape?

Lastly, men aren't claiming victimhood by avoiding women in the workplace, they are simply trying to avoid becoming victims of false/frivolous claims.

[–]HannibalsProtege 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

All I’m trying to get at is that men raping women is what led to this whole mess of a debacle to begin with.

All you're choosing to conflate is that the percentage of men who do commit rape are just as guilty as those who don't. This is the same shit that was done in the military when one person fucked up; it's inherently the fault of others "who knew," said transgression was going to conspire.

Across the globe, humiliating, dehumanizing, painful porn of barely legal teen girls is, like, insanely popular and normalized;

Believe it or not research done by the Kinsey institute, and PornHub found that women were more likely to search for hardcore porn 1.5x's more than men. And in other countries the legal age of consent varies, so throwing in barely legal girls doesn't help your argument.

Now if you'll excuse yourself from this group that'd be great.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't understand what's your issue with the whole thing is. Whats your final point exactly? Are you just being devil's advocate here ? Cuz it's feels like it. Men raping women had led to me too movement ok that was fair. Due to that some women falsely accused men and got away with it without any sort of consequences. More and more women are seeing this and following it. And now men are trying to defend and protect themselves from these kinds of women. These are all just cause and effect. Now there are many ither things being done as well. But this is clear cut cause and effect.

[–]Angryasfk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Metoo isn’t just about rape. It’s about “inappropriate contact”, which is a much more subjective. And the protagonists get very upset at the very suggestion that the actions of Weinstein be set on a different level from lower level offenders (look at the reaction to some of Matt Damon’s tweets).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

You do understand that you are just in the extreme end of it. You keep bringing up what would your daughter think daughter this daughter that. I totally understand why you saying that. I don't support it but I can understand why you can be like that. But why are you failing to understand what your son would feel like if he heard feminazis says we should kill all men. And that men are inherently evil and all men would rape and kill a women at night the first chance they get.

[–]throwawayagain0262 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

You’re right, I agree that that’s a terrible thing for a young boy to hear. Sorry for not addressing that. However, maybe he should be upset with the men who do rape rather than with the community of women who are acknowledging that men rape.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Who here is not acknowledge that men can rape women? We get it but it's not all men that rape all women. Guilty until proven innocent is a really idiotic way of making decisions.

[–]throwawayagain0262 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The whole “I haven’t personally done anything bad” ideology is the problem here. I’m a white person, and instead of saying “I’m not a racist so why do racial minorities think I’m evil,” I try to look at it as “there are tonnes of white people who have historically been absolutely horrible to racial minorities, and still are to this day, so I’d like to try and educate other white people to not be pieces of shit so that racialized groups have less of a reason to feel wary of white people.” No need to be defensive, just accepting I was born into a demographic that has done awful things to other people, and trying to work to make sure that my demographic gets better over time. We can’t choose which demographics we are born into, but it’s so important to acknowledge and learn about social systems that are deeply ingrained in our society.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Are you blaming and being upset with women openly rather than with the community of men that are acknowledging that false accusations of rape and sexual harrasment can ruin thier lives even when it's proposed without any proofs whatsoever except for hersay.

[–]throwawayagain0262 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

If men didn’t rape, people wouldn’t believe and promote this extreme and garbage narrative that women are always right about any sexual assault case. Let’s stop men from doing weird creepy sex stuff to women so that we reach a point in society where if a woman accused a man of being weird toward her sexually, people would be like “wtf, no way, men aren’t ever sexually creepy toward women, that would literally never happen.” Unfortunately, at this point in time, we can’t safely say that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

The more I read your comments the more I get the feel that it's all just s huge waste of my precious time and energy discussing any further with you. It's quite clear that you love playing devil's advocate and will continue to do so with baseless accusations while also pretending to empathize with other side but will stop doing so the other side the moment you finish typing that sentence. Its lower than useless discussing any further with you.

[–]throwawayagain0262 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Good luck if you ever have a daughter, unfortunately I think she will feel like her dad thinks she’s useless in the workplace and that she’s an idiot for feeling upset when she learns that men masturbate to the idea of her and other girls her age being humiliated and roughed up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

And good luck to you too If you ever had a son . Unfortunately I think he would feel like his own mother thinks of him as a natural born predator of women who rapes and harasses women every chance he gets. And that he is nothing but a insecure whiny brat fir felling wronged when he learns that not all men are like that but he absolutely always will be A monster in eyes of his own mother.

[–]throwawayagain0262 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I plan to teach my son to be a nice normal person, and I hope you do the same, so that one day there will be so many good men in the world that women don’t have to be worried anymore. Unfortunately, we aren’t there yet.

[–]BreakinLiberty2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

And the same could be said about girls. How about you worry about raising a good woman so that the world is full of good women so men don’t have to worried Unfortunately we aren’t there yet.

Mothers can’t raise boys as properly into good men. You need good men raising boys into just as good or better men.

I was raised by my mother and her advice was horrible. I had to look for mentors to teach me how to be a better man.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Exactly. We need role models and actual and regular interactions with our role models. Mother's can't alone raise good men. Now there can obviously be exceptional mothers and exceptional children but they are exceptions for a reason. Majorly that's not how it works. Children needs both parents for a reason. Our current generation are already suffering for the long line of divorces and being raised by single mothers or fathers due to thier own selfish reasons. That's ine of the reasons for gen z being so F ed up and so many people being depressed and also the reason that people like Jordan Peterson are getting more and more popular.

[–][deleted]0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

We don’t need a man and a woman to raise a good kid, just kind and empathetic people with a good moral compass. Could be one single parent, two women, two men, etc.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I should've mentioned the word easily. singke parents or two men or two women can absolutely raise good children but it's definitely not easy and most of them fall unde exception category since we had numerous research done on this topic and it's a proven fact that we need both masculine and feminine traits among patients to properly and easily raise a child. I reiterate exceptions donot nullify stereotypes. A child can also grow up in a proper traditional household with good father and mother and still grow up twisted and harmful. But this is the exception here. It's much easier to deal with and raise children traditional way than to raise them any other way. I'm. It talking about deadbeat cheating father's or abusive cheating mother's here I'm talking about a stereotype parents which is probably the best settings a child can grow up in.

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Men only have to worry about women falsely accusing them because women have to worry about being sexually preyed upon. This whole MeToo thing wasn’t a random idea created in crazy feminists’ minds; it’s a response to men doing creepy sexual shit to women. Men wouldn’t have to worry about being falsely accused if there weren’t other men around them constantly perpetuating the idea that men actually are weird and creepy. If we tried our best to ensure men weren’t sexually weird toward women, we’d eventually live in a world where people would be like “a man, actually HARASS or RAPE a woman? Yeah right, that would never happen.” Can’t say that yet lol

[–]thealphateam 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

/r/leapoardsatemyface

[–]kapriece 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

In the military we were practicing this long before mE 2. As a superior you would often talk to females with another male present as a witness. I saw many colleagues get reduced in rank for talking to females alone and the allegations flying around. Back then when you talked to people outside the military about it they thought you were full of shit. After while it got to the point that when the fellas were talking and a female soldier came around the conversation would stop. Sometimes I got talked to about the hostile work environment and I would have to explain it. My CO often male would then go about their business. Evey now and then you'd get a high ranking female trying to force the guys to interact but it would fail. I did 22 years and I see nothing's changed as far as the Army but the female world outside is getting it's due.

[–]HannibalsProtege 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

We had this in the AF as well, it was a total clusterfuck the two weeks leading up to SARC week, and the 9 days after the briefing. Each and every fucking time it was always the same demeaning speech, the same rhetoric geared exclusively towards men (with no mention of the sexual harassment/groping women received at the hands of other women) and the same ending.

Men keep your eyes, hands, toes, conversations, breath, hair follicles, and sneezes to yourself. Ladies you can do no wrong. I mean look at the discrepancy between the men who have gone missing in the Army vs the women. I've seen more attention given to the women, but the men get shafted every time.

[–]ARedditorCalledQuest 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I was actually laughed at by the Master Sergeant running the SARC briefing one year for bringing up sexual assault with female perpetrators and male victims. Apparently "it's not assault if you liked it" is an okay thing to say to a few hundred airmen.

[–]kapriece 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That was one thing I couldn't stand. Only once we had a lady talk to us the females. Every time after that it was males.... don't rape!..... constantly. It fosters the environment where you don't talk to them at all.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This reminds me of my emotionally abusive stepmom… she would terrify me, then when I started avoiding her she’d get mad at me for avoiding her. The next step would always be her trying to force me to say what the problem was, then berating me for saying what she was doing.

[–]OldManCrazyDan 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I just looked up what #metoo was and now it makes so much sense

[–]Morden013 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, my sole purpose in life is to train you, transfer all my hard-learned knowledge and skills onto you and cater to your needs... Then, when the opportunity presents itself, you will use the gender-based approach to shoot me in the back and jump over my still warm corpse.

Been there and thanks to my reputation with the company, managed to defend against the assault.

[–]TomCat2005 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

They go out of their way to make it so that a mans life can be destroyed for an interaction with a woman… and then have the audacity to complain that men are avoiding them because they don’t want to be falsely accused of sexual harassment?

[–]angerproblemsTM 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Honestly yeah I don’t blame you guys. I’d do the same. I fear for my partner going into a corporate world what might happen to him for just being normal.

[–]BrokeMacMountain 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

ahh, its arwa the sexist! She has never written anything positive about men. Everything she says, the way she thinks, is highly toxic, misandrist, anti male hate. She is one of the reasons I stopped buying the guardian, and now have it blocked on all my firewalls.

edit : this is also another example of how feminist think. Everything is all about them! She complained women were victims because they had to interact with men. She wanted women to have their own space, free from men. Now she claims women are victims because men are giving women their space.

[–]SexMonger69 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

After seeing governor Cuomo be forced to resign after saying a lady “looks good” in scrubs when she was giving him a vaccine I vowed that I would never compliment a woman or even talk to one unless she approached me which is usually never so yeah I’m good.

[–]Mother-Key582 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ummm, you do realize Cuomo let elderly people die in nursing homes right? Are you that delusional that he was a “good” governor? 🤦‍♂️

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