My high school is messed up.

HeForeverBleeds · 2018-02-05T20:40:35+00:00

This kind of bullshit is exactly why even now, as much discussion and awareness that there is about sexual violence against females, female-on-male sexual violence and sexual violence against males in general is still a grossly under-recognized problem

It's at least just as important to teach boys that there's nothing shameful about not wanting sex with a girl and telling her "no", that he's not a "fag" or "wuss" if he's ever coerced into it, and of course that boys can also be raped by both men and women

And to teach girls that "no" means "no", that she can't assume he wants it just because she's told every guy is trying to get into her pants, and that erections don't mean consent

Seriously, 1 in 6 men have been sexually abused, half the abusers are women, and yet that kind of nonsense at your school is still taught and blindly accepted as fact

Have you talked to your principal about your concerns? Most likely he / she already approved it anyway, but it might be worth a shot. Imagine if every student who had an issue with it spoke up about it. Also, I think you really ought to make that appointment. Have you heard the opinions of any of the other students about the assembly?

Pathfinder24 · 2018-02-05T22:52:00+00:00

File a title ix complaint.

If they separated the school into whites and blacks and had a lecture to blacks on how not to steal things would it be appropriate?

Certainly not.

Good4Men · 2018-02-06T03:06:07+00:00

Removed.

mikbusa · 2018-02-05T22:01:22+00:00

"they aren't responsible for how they act when they're intoxicated". Convenient how that doesn't apply to males.

Lupinfujiko · 2018-02-05T23:26:57+00:00

Remember:

"All men are rapists, and should be put in prison and shot."

-Julie Bindel, feminist.

Some of her literature is a basis for the textbooks that we study in gender studies in university.

Meyright · 2018-02-05T21:48:03+00:00

File a title ix complaint after you talk to your teacher. Audio record your teacher if you live in a single party consent state for audio recordings, if not, transcribe it, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telephone_recording_laws#United_States) and use this in your complaint :

https://nwlc.org/resources/how-to-file-a-title-ix-sexual-harassment-or-assault-complaint-with-the-u-s-department-of-education/

PeonSupreme · 2018-02-05T20:58:36+00:00

Jesus. I hope you can resist this attempt at government-funded brainwashing.

everythingiswrong911 · 2018-02-06T00:28:02+00:00

I would not bother meeting with the teacher, they will without a doubt use it as an opportunity to misrepresent your position. Instead, email them and CC the school board prior to title IX complaint. Also get ready to be called a rapist, very few people will stand behind you out of both fear and ignorance.

Lupinfujiko · 2018-02-05T23:25:08+00:00

Yup. It's complete bullshit. Good for you for seeing through the hypocrisy.

Take Brock Turner for example. Both him and the victims were black out drunk that night by all accounts.

So if being drunk means that you cannot consent, doesn't that logically mean that she potentially raped him?

Why is she the victim there? And why is he automatically the perpetrator? Couldn't it be the other way around? By definition?

jesting766 · 2018-02-06T00:58:40+00:00

So after the assembly, the teachers running the whole program took the grade 10s and split them into the boys and girls. So they had the girls go to the auditorium, and the boys went to the gymnasium.

This should've clued you in on the true motives behind this assembly.

Here's where this starts to be an issue. They were teaching the male students about 'No means No' and how it's wrong to rape. They taught them how 'Just because a woman is wearing a scandalous outfit, that does not give you the right to rape them'. Now, this is obviously wrong already. However, the girls were taught a whole different lesson. They were taught self defense and how they aren't responsible for how they act when they're intoxicated.

And there you have it. This is not the least bit surprising. There have been countless assemblies and lessons like this infesting the education system as a whole and passed as a requirement when it actuality its just your average brain washing session. Their goal: Make boys solely responsible and let girls get off scott free, thus increasing their sense of entitlement.

It's planting the early seed of an attitude women acquire in their adult years where they treat a man or boy like an easy target with society and law backing them up.

This is where it needs to be stopped: When they're young.

AloneKindheartedness · 2018-02-05T21:15:26+00:00

Put together a petition list of guys who were offended by this and take it to the teacher, all while you raise awareness about it with fellow students.

AlexEquilibrium · 2018-02-06T00:38:57+00:00

Yeah, you definitely should! Stuff like this makes me so pissed off. It's backwards. It's bullshit. You should mention that men are also capable of being raped, and that women are capable of being the rapists.

I'm sick of this whole narrative that's being spread around, that teaches people that men are intrinsically the perpetrators of violence and assault, and that women are always the victim.

Also "aren't responsible for how they act when they're intoxicated". Why isn't this also applicable to the guy? When two drunk people have sex, people always blame the man, saying he "raped" the girl because she was drunk and couldn't consent. But isn't that also true for the man? If they both drunkenly consented, how is it automatically the guy who is the rapist, when they were both intoxicated?

Edit: They teach this under the guise of "equality", but this kind of propaganda makes male victims of assault less likely to speak up. It pushes them away. And if they do speak out, they're less likely to even be believed. They'll likely get made fun of and laughed at because "men can't be raped".

198_Dudes · 2018-02-06T13:44:09+00:00

.... and I want to make an appointment with the teacher who ran the program, and I want to question her about it.

Don't. Just don't.

So you got what, a year and a half? Look, you are not wrong. I mean, you are REALLY REALLY not wrong.

At your age, there is a very hard lesson to learn. Not every battle is worth your while.

In this case the stark reality is that if this teacher was a lone wolf on a private crusade then the attitude at your school would be vastly different. She may head this - but she is comfortably surrounded by peers who will encourage and protect her.

But you ARE a lone wolf in this. You are fucked. Best case scnerio is they will try to embarrass and ignore you. Worst case is they will put a target on your back that will haunt you until graduation.

Put your head down, do your studies, get the best grades you can get, graduate and think about your future.

Take these lessons to heart.

jacksleepshere · 2018-02-06T00:22:02+00:00

She shouldn't be in education, or just around young, impressionable people in general really.

Spoopsnloops · 2018-02-06T01:05:31+00:00

Yeah, just walk out of that shit. It's sexist towards men. I wouldn't willingly subject myself to racism, so why sexism?

Greg_W_Allan · 2018-02-06T01:14:08+00:00

I've noticed that my school has the idea that 'All men are rapists', because they felt the need to teach the boys that rape is wrong, while they taught the girls self defense.

If it weren't so tragic I could see the irony.

In a school the most likely adult to sexually abuse a student is a woman. The most likely victim of an adult abuser is a boy. Furthermore among the student body you describe there is every possibility that there are more actual victims among the boys than among the girls.

That school is failing in it's duty to half the student body.

cld8 · 2018-02-06T04:33:19+00:00

I would suggest involving your parents or another outside organization before questioning your teacher about this. It could easily backfire on you if the teacher is the vindictive type.

AlekseiDanilov · 2018-02-05T21:47:02+00:00

I know this will get misinterpreted anyway but just to be clear:

They taught them how 'Just because a woman is wearing a scandalous outfit, that does not give you the right to rape them'. Now, this is obviously wrong already.

What you're saying is wrong is the method in which they told only the guys this separately? This could get misinterpreted as:

Just because a woman is wearing a scandalous outfit, that does not give you the right to rape them'. Now, this is obviously wrong already.

TRichard3814 · 2018-02-06T02:22:56+00:00

If a person is intoxicated they cannot consent, that means the man cannot consent and the women cannot consent. So when they have sex who the fuck raped who and did anyone rape anyone. This is a just a legal fucking mess that needs to be fixed

fengpi · 2018-02-06T05:30:20+00:00

This kind of thing has been happening at least since the early 90s and is par for the course in freshman orientation when you get to college as well. They tell the men "no means no" and they tell the women to go party it up as much as they want. (What gives the game away are their refusals to enact obvious limitations on female students, namely: forbidding them from going to fraternity parties. Even though fraternity parties are supposed to be utterly terrifying hellholes, helpless women should nonetheless be free go have fun in the terrifying hellholes as much as they like).

Basically, they wish to make it so that women can have a rockin' good time without any negative emotions. If the penalties for men are severe enough, maybe women can have a rockin' good time, no negative emotions and absolute safety as well. The fact that this is childish and impossible nonsense need never intrude upon the game, for punishing men carries little cost in the pursuit of an unattainable She-Topian Party-Pit made of pink cotton candy clouds. And if a drunk chick falls out of a window to her death, the blame handily goes upon everybody else. Limitations are a bummer which would've made her feel bad and girls just wanna have fun.

Oh, also, you still need to pay for women's drinks because equality. And if you don't applaud loudly enough for Mattress Girl, you're a monster.

dawghouse13 · 2018-02-06T06:37:16+00:00

You speak the truth, in today’s world,it’s expected that all young teenage boys will try to rape someone and that they have to be told that it’s not ok, like fuck no, if you have human decency you won’t rape someone

XUE_LI_HUANG · 2018-02-06T08:06:09+00:00

Oh, a few years ago (I've graduated now) I think I might've had the same exact thing! I was in Grade 9, and in our school all PE and sexual health related things are separated by gender.

All us girls had our own time and we got a special periodic lesson on self defense. It seemed useful, but I had assumed that boys got the same thing - self defense. I still don't know 'cuz I never asked.

"No means no" and yadda yadda seems pretty basic, but I believe that boys need to learn how to protect themselves as well. You should inform her of that.

circlhat · 2018-02-06T08:07:28+00:00

Growing up I was taught, not to hurt women, women were taught not to get hurt by men.

People really thought this was the decent thing to teach. The hatred of men is very subtle. It only comes out when there is conflict, things are 100% fine as a man until conflict at that point you are a rapist

The__Tren__Train · 2018-02-05T23:49:58+00:00

who cares? just go your own way.

you are young, and your future is full of promise.

get good grades, stay out of debt, get a good education and career.. live for yourself, your hobbies, and your friends.

and for fuck's sake never marry.. if you think things are bad in your school, just wait until the government gets involved.

thrway_1000 · 2018-02-06T00:39:33+00:00

File a Title IX complaint - https://ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/howto.html

DennyBenny · 2018-02-06T01:42:12+00:00

A big w0w this was not at all talked about when I was in school at your age. The guys knew no was to stop and girls did not seem to express their opinion as to what was allowed, vocally. I am sure there was problems more with the adults who were teachers, workers, and administrators.

In sex education in sixth grade they split boys and girls and we were told different things but nothing to the extent of what you have expressed. My dad tried to be there but the school gave him the wrong time. My parents had always answered all my questions about sex and were proactive explaining it without being graphic

stupidname91919 · 2018-02-06T08:21:34+00:00

You're going to hear the exact same spiel in college. Its a mandatory attendance event.

The purpose of these seminars is to demean you humiliate you and make you feel powerless inside the power-structure of the school you're in. My suggestion is for you to not let the degradation get to you.

Don't try to reason with these people, it won't work. They're not going to change. Just realize that you are in a hostile environment and keep your guard up.

KingRobotPrince · 2018-02-06T10:34:55+00:00

Should explain what it is going to be to parents and then make it optional.

motorscuz · 2018-02-06T11:23:05+00:00

Bring up how girls can hit guys, it happens all the time and ask why that isn't assault. Why do girls get away with doing whatever they want when they are drunk, why doesn't your school teach responsibility?

spy9911 · 2018-02-06T12:26:37+00:00

Are women ever "responsible" for anything?

L3tum · 2018-02-06T14:27:45+00:00

they aren't responsible for how they act when they're intoxicated.

Better only kill people when you're drunk

Nude-eh · 2018-02-06T15:07:57+00:00

Here's where this starts to be an issue. They were teaching the male students about 'No means No' and how it's wrong to rape. They taught them how 'Just because a woman is wearing a scandalous outfit, that does not give you the right to rape them'. Now, this is obviously wrong already.

What is wrong here? I see nothing wrong:

No means no. (no problem here)
Rape is wrong. (ditto)
Just because a girl wears a scandalous outfit, does not mean you can rape them. (see 2, even if she is naked).

What is the problem?

However, the girls were taught a whole different lesson. (this can happen, as girls sometimes need different info than men.)

They were taught self defense (fine)

They were taught how they aren't responsible for how they act when they're intoxicated. (obviously incorrect. Try to get off a drunk driving ticket with this one.)

I've noticed that my school has the idea that 'All men are rapists', because they felt the need to teach the boys that rape is wrong, (you are wrong here. They teach all the boys because one of them might be inclined to rape, and they do not know which boy is that guy.)

This make me mad because they are generalizing that a boy will rape a girl unless they are taught otherwise. (see above)

They think girls are incapable of rape, and that is really inconsiderate of the boys at my school. (you are right here)

I'm a grade 11 currently, and I want to make an appointment with the teacher who ran the program, and I want to question her about it. (If you want to, go ahead. But, be aware that it might piss her off)

v574v · 2018-02-06T17:47:15+00:00

A drunk person can consent it’s a person in a drunken stupor who can’t consent.

Title	My high school is messed up.
Author	Virtalen
Upvotes	222
Comments	143
Date	February 5, 2018 8:23 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/7vhnrc/my_high_school_is_messed_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-high-school-is-messed-up.906469 https://theredarchive.com/post/906469

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