This has probably been posted at some point before, but describe the moment in which you became an MRA.

Lucaribro · 2012-04-12T10:37:43+00:00

When I was 17 and drugged/raped by a 22 year old "friend" of mine. No one believed it or really gave a shit. The laws and standards put into effect by good old feminism made getting it looked into nearly impossible. Even my friends thought it was impossible to get raped by a woman, especially a fairly attractive one. I'm sure you can all imagine the cliche one liners being tossed around. I still have intimacy issues that I don't care to get into.

velocom · 2012-04-12T10:36:03+00:00

I was in a bookstore in the 80s, trying to pick up chicks. (This was long before bookstores realized they could increase their business by encouraging this). My eye fell upon a book by Warren Farrell called "Why Men Are The Way They Are."

I read it, went holy shit, never looked back.

I am now married to a feminist as ardent about equal rights as I am; a family attorney, she is the local go-to lawyer for men who have been getting screwed in custody battles.

It's kind of cool. There's no shortage of material for arguments.

roland3337 · 2012-04-12T06:11:27+00:00

For me it was the passing of the International Marriage Brokers Regulation Act (IMBRA) in 2006. I married a woman from a foreign country, and the passing of this law almost put a stop to the whole thing. It was in-your-face bigotry that I simply could not ignore. I started reading up on DV, and then I encountered a huge pile of studies that laid bare the lies that I'd been told from dozens of sources on the topic. The more I dug on related issues (most of which you'll find here), the more I felt used and lied to about all matters male. And I became a sworn enemy of feminist ideology.

kanuk876 · 2012-04-12T07:26:21+00:00

A couple years into therapy, I was peeling back the layers of my unhappiness and past abuse when I discovered... I hated men. And I was like, "How the fuck did this get in my brain?"

Yeah.

My conversion occurred shortly thereafter.

rightsbot · 2012-04-12T04:32:18+00:00

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ExpendableOne · 2012-04-12T15:12:30+00:00

I grew up always believing in the principle of gender equality but at some point I also became aware of male expandability and male vilification, and how it was just everywhere(media, public opinion, judicial system, school system, etc) and completely ingrained into the way people think. That's about the same time that I realized that neither feminism nor society actually cared about men or male issues; and would be pretty much be happy to let men die as long as they can provide for a few female privileges. It was also around that time that I realize that all those things I had been raised to hate about men as a child(a pretty despicable notion in of itself), were never even justified in the first place either; it was just pure fear/hate mongering.

Once I became aware of them, the double-standards and social hypocrisy became pretty overwhelming. Every time anyone would try to apply equality in ways that either benefited men or that were inconvenient to women, it was immediately shut down, simply because "it's what women want"(A realization made that much stronger by the observation that this principle pretty much ruled most of human history). Eventually I also got fed up of seeing men say "Just do what women tell you, it's just the way of the world" and women say "Just do what we tell you, or else". I also got fed up with being called a "nice guy tm" for trying to do the right thing or for being either nice, empathetic and considerate towards women(a frustrating irony); being called a doormat for trying to help others(and having those efforts perpetually taken for granted or abused); called a pervert/creep simply for being male and having a sexuality of my own; or treated like a nuisance, a perpetual threat or "potential rapist" simply for having basic heterosexual desires(all of which, like many things, just ends up going back to the issue of male vilification/expandability).

By that time I also came to understand feminism and how, despite claiming that it is an authority on equality, feminism was never really about equality to begin with and was, if anything, a major perpetrator in inequality, male expandability and male vilification(capitalizing and extorting an negative/hostile preexisting social conditions against men). At the end of the day, I still love and respect the women in my life, and will always treat women as equals(or, in other words, as people first and female second), but it is also just as important that I see myself as their equals too(despite what women, feminism, society or other bigots may have to say about that). That's what makes me an egalitarian, an anti-feminist, a women's rights advocate and a men's rights advocate.

stillnotproud · 2012-04-12T15:55:45+00:00

Was born into a family with a sociopathic mother. Everything was fine when I was a kid but when I passed 7-8 mother became brutal and nasty, with daily bouts of emotional and physical violence in a house where the front door was locked till I was 14.

I grew up as a cross-dresser and she tried to beat and shame me out of this. As I point out to her many times this was not something I had control over and that on the whole I'd rather be gay because at least that has an amount of social acceptance nailed on to it.

No one in the family did anything about it. No one in the family believes me because my mother is a principal and teaches little kids and does a lot of good for the community so she can't have treated her kids badly.

Eventually I said to her that I would never talk to her again unless we attended family therapy where the psychs more or less forced her to deal with what I was saying and stop denying and ignoring it. She admitted the violence and the suppression of my sexuality, but as soon as we got out of the rooms she claims she can't remember any of this.

I feel that if I was female then there would be loads of support networks in place. Even my absent father has told me to be a man too many times in my life and I know that the wider family just believe me to be a trouble maker. It was at a very early age that I realised the rights of women to be hurt and upset were massive to those compared to men, who're just supposed to accept it.

jacKofKats · 2012-04-12T16:56:08+00:00

I think I'm currently in the process of becoming one, and it's the result of an overzealous "feminist" professor that I currently have. Growing up, I did not put much thought into the gender stereotyping all around me. I tended to read books or watch shows where this was a complete non-issue (though, of course, the images they presented could always be argued); men and women were equal, and it should be upon their merits that they progress through life and succeed, not the junk in their pants.

This semester, however, I am taking a class that was supposed to be about race, gender, and class issues in regards to education. The professor apparently decided this meant we needed to reinforce the "white male oppression is hurting everyone" attitude, giving us anecdotal and narrow-ranging statistics or stories about this oppression. In the same line of thought, a woman on a video will say "This program was cut because there weren't enough women interested, and because they have to keep a consistent proportion of women to men, it was no longer funded. This isn't a man's issue, this is women being oppressed and not getting enough support to run this program equitably." I have so often been grateful these desks are firmly attached to the floor, or I would have flipped it in a fit of rage and left screaming. How do people say these things and not listen to themselves? I'm learning more on this issue, and even though I'm a female, I think this is a huge problem that needs to be addressed. Blind stupidity is just intolerable.

JoolNoret · 2012-04-12T17:41:17+00:00

When my father told me my grandmother called me a womanizer. It takes two consenting adults to form a one night stand, and men aren't the only ones who go to bars looking for a hook-up.

pcarvious · 2012-04-12T15:17:04+00:00

When I was knee high to squat, around five years old, I used to spend four or five hours a day locked in a hallway closet. No one believed that a grandmother could do that to her grandkid.

Later in my teens my best friend, a guy, committed suicide in front of me. His parents had separated and his dad was being thrown in jail on a trumped up child molestation charge. The charge came during the divorce proceedings.

I found the mens rights board on reddit and started to participate.

Then I was working at one of the local schools. The father of one of the girls I was tutoring accused me of inappropriate conduct. Luckily I never left the sight of the librarian and the other teachers and tutors stood with me. I'm still blacklisted from tutoring, and I imagine teaching in this district. Just to be clear, there were no formal charges.

fs337 · 2012-04-12T05:09:07+00:00

When I questioned why men have to pay for everything on dates, why women wear provocative clothing and get angry at the attention, and when I stumbled upon some horror stories on here about terrible things women can get away with

AnthonyZarat · 2012-04-12T14:37:03+00:00

September 2010. My 6 year old son was humiliated in his public school as part of a "violence against women" campaign. I asked for help at "feministe.com". The femifascist man haters elected me runner up most hated man of the year.

I realized that all feminists are filth, and joined the MRM. The next day, Pelle Billing ran a story about the NY rape prevention campaign:

http://www.pellebilling.com/2010/11/misandry-hits-ny/

CthulhuChild · 2012-04-12T20:20:15+00:00

I live in Canada, and last year, I decided I wanted to become a Sperm donor. There is a single sperm bank in the entire country, located 3100km from where I live. The others disappeared when it became illegal for sperm banks to compensate men for their time.

Further investigation followed. I learned that in our laws, regardless of the circumstances of the birth, you are financially and legally responsible for any biological children. Regardless of the method or circumstances of conception, regardless of any agreement between donor and the mother. The only form of protection for the father is anonymity, which prevents a child from ever having contact with their biological parent.

This system hurts everyone involved. It hurts families who need donors to conceive. It hurts donors who are at terrible financial risk. And it hurts kids, who can't learn about their ancestry even if the donor is willing.

Attempts to change these laws are characterized as misogynist attempts to legalize deadbeat dads.

I suddenly find myself a believer in both feminism and men’s rights. The two are not incompatible.

2012-04-12T13:48:56+00:00

When I realized I was being paid 25 % less for doing the same job as a minority female who never did her job, though we have the same title

obligatory edit: its curious I have received downvotes without any comments..I wonder if there are any trolls about, who have nothing to actually contribute to the conversation..?

2012-04-12T04:35:58+00:00

http://www.psy.fsu.edu/~baumeistertice/goodaboutmen.htm

2012-04-12T20:56:36+00:00

Witnessing general violence against men (including my hubby from his ex when we started dating), listening to man-hating feminists who think women can do no wrong, and the fact that a man cannot defend himself without being labeled as a woman-beater...are what got me into mens rights.

AryoBarzan · 2012-04-12T11:29:14+00:00

Not quite sure about the point at which I became an MRA, but I used to read a forum which involved many younger males complaining about feminist-induced problems they faced. I realized I fit into this category pretty well and, not long after, became an admin of an 'anti-feminist' group on facebook.

My first MRA thought was an interesting one though. I was about 8 years of age or so and commercials in support of implementing VAWA were running rampant at the time. I remember sitting in front of the television and seeing this commercial, which involved an old woman complaining about how a man should NEVER hit a woman and then went black with letters that said "STOP VIOLENCE........ AGAINST WOMEN!!". For the life of me, I could not determine why we needed to 'stop violence' only against women or why it was being prioritized against women. Why was it more 'okay' for me to be beat up over a female? I inquired a couple friends of mine at school about this and both seemed fairly dumbfounded by my question. Little did I know this would spark into something MANY years down the road :)

NiceIce · 2012-04-12T20:58:15+00:00

I read Esther Vilar's book The Manipulated Man.

2012-04-13T01:53:52+00:00

I have always campaigned for equality, but I never regarded men as being a group that needed much protecting until this happened.

One of my friends had a girlfriend who became abusive after their daughter was born. She routinely hit him, sometimes just a punch to his face, sometimes a knee to the balls, but one time she sent him to the hospital. He was always trying to be a "manly man" and didn't want to complain about it. One day she got really mad over some stupid comment he made and she kicked him in the knee. This knee had been operated on multiple times and he still wasn't able to walk on it. Because of that bullshit she pulled he had to go under the knife again. Later he said something she felt was disrespectful and punched him in the balls so hard he had to get operated on to fix them. Then they got into an argument in the car afterward and she took both hands off the steering wheel to strike him while the car was going 35+mph, with their daughter in the back. Then when they finally split up, she got custody of their daughter even though she had criminal history (not injuring his knee, or the ballshot, he called the cops and no charges were pressed, no arrests made of course) of domestic violence.

2012-04-13T16:37:51+00:00

I became an MRA when I became low enough to go out seduction websites due to my utter lack of dating success. At first the pointers were useful and the rhetoric was icky. Then, as I went deeper, I found more substantial websites that illuminated men's issues without the dehumanizing veneer. I started the journey as sad, went to determined, then went to angry, and now I am calm and confident in my position as an MRA.

GuitarMan40 · 2012-04-14T18:13:39+00:00

When I finally understood what i really had taken from my genitals.

TerriChris · 2012-04-12T14:39:45+00:00

It was December 26th, 2002. After reading a couple articles by Dr. Stephan Baskerville on the "divorce industry" I grew interested. "The Criminalization of Fatherhood" and "The Politics of Fatherhood" ruffled my feathers.

www.stephenbaskerville.net

Danielfair · 2012-04-12T07:13:12+00:00

Well, to be fair, men have been dicks to women for most of history.

Title	This has probably been posted at some point before, but describe the moment in which you became an MRA.
Author	nastynuggets
Upvotes	25
Comments	73
Date	April 12, 2012 4:30 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/s5oe5/this_has_probably_been_posted_at_some_point/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/this-has-probably-been-posted-at-some-point-before.1024179 https://theredarchive.com/post/1024179

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