Thoughts on "Teach Men not to Rape"

avantvernacular · 2014-08-27T19:01:07+00:00

"Teach men not to rape" reinforces the idea that women cannot be rapists

TheRabid · 2014-08-27T15:48:11+00:00

It's quite easy for people to demonize a group of people. It's hard to hate the individual. In this case, "men" represent the boogyman.

The "funny" part of this whole speech is how it shows how "weak" women are because they appear to be actively preaching against defending themselves and that they require a man to do something. Not the picture of female empowerment.

Hungerwolf · 2014-08-27T16:08:21+00:00

That's the thing, though- Even though rape has gone down an incredible amount since 1970, (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peter-diamandis/evidence-of-abundance-6-r_b_5630907.html) , Feminism relies on fear and manipulation. Since rape is down, rather than find another issue, feminism has begun to change the definition of rape itself.

Now, if you're female and have had any alcohol, you can not consent to sex. If you have sex while drunk, you've been raped. Furthermore, there is a trend towards consent being retroactive (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/25/university-of-california-consent_n_5710099.html) Meaning, if you have sex and decide six months later that, in fact, you DON'T want it anymore, it was rape then.

Also, feminists are lobbying to remove the statute of limitations for rape (http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/08/21/wendy_davis_on_texas_statute_of_limitations_for_sexual_assault_prosecutions.html). So if you had consensual sex 20 years ago and now wish you hadn't, you were raped.

And the big kicker is that for statistical purposes, ANY "sexual assault" (which includes kissing while intoxicated, regardless of consent) is included as rape. So, if you've kissed someone while drunk two decades ago, you've been sexually assaulted, which means you've been raped.

Keep in kind, all of these apply to females ONLY. I believe GirlWritesWhat elaborated on this mentioning a study of 500,000 male sexual assault victims and 600,000 female sexual assault victims, which was reported as 1.1 million female victims. Even when males speak out on this, they are ignored entirely, or are used to marginalize their problems by attributing them to female victims.

What I'm getting at is this- Of COURSE we have to teach men not to rape, given this kind of system. EVERY FUCKING THING is rape to these people. Kissing is sex, consent is retroactive. They need to indoctrinate people to make them feel guilty by default. "I kissed that girl at the bar last night when we were really drunk. Am I a potential rapist? Do I have that in me?"- It's a mind control technique.

govt_took_my_baby · 2014-08-27T16:53:11+00:00

Everyone knows the speed limits, they're even sign posted everywhere, yet people still speed. Drivers have been specifically taught to drive within the speed limits (it's even a condition of gaining a license) that fines and penalties exist, so why are there speeding violations? Because they literally do not care about that law, they 'know best', they take the risk. In fact, it would be unfair to label all drivers as speeders and law breakers when it's just a few, and you know what? Even after being caught, being fined, a lot of them carry on breaking traffic violations.

So yeah, teach men not to rape... even though everyone, literally everyone, already knows it's illegal and abhorrent... and guess what? rapists are gonna just ignore all of that.

There's this awful notion gaining traction that any and every man is a potential rapist, and that anything can be called rape - it needs to be stopped. it really does, in real terms, devalue and trivialize the crime, and does a massive disservice to real victims

ugly_duck · 2014-08-27T16:53:43+00:00

"Teach men not to steal" or "Teach men not to go over the speed limit".

These aren't the best examples. People pirate all sorts of media and people speed all the time. People don't feel guilty because everyone else is doing it or it is socially acceptable.

While I don't like the "teach men not to rape", I do think schools are lacking in a comprehensive sexual education program.

scanspeak · 2014-08-27T23:28:53+00:00

Women are the primary abusers of children. Looking forward to the Teach Women Not to Kill Their Children campaign.

Mel_Gibsons_Sanity · 2014-08-27T15:57:58+00:00

We should teach women not to file for divorce...

EDIT: /s

Lafingas · 2014-08-27T16:35:35+00:00

I personally don't think we should 'teach men not to rape' because that only puts into the heads of young men that the have a choice to rape or not. There is not choice behind it, you don't choose to take someone else's choice away, that's wrong in itself. The real answer is to teach everyone what it feels like to be able to have a choice, and what it feels like to be helpless to choice, that is the only way to teach someone to not take someone else's right of choice away.

MRSPArchiver · 2014-08-27T15:38:27+00:00

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2014-08-27T20:28:22+00:00

Posted this in the other thread:

http://thoughtcatalog.com/olos-nah/2014/08/why-didnt-anyone-teach-me-not-to-rape/

da1inchpunch · 2014-08-27T23:37:46+00:00

How about, Teach women that most men are not rapists.?

DougDante · 2014-08-28T02:53:54+00:00

Our society is being swept up in an intensifying wave of ignorance and disinformation about rape. That ignorance and disinformation is putting the public’s safety at risk. ..

Everywhere I look, I see posts about “teaching” boys not to rape, as if girls and women don’t rape… And as if boys are born to rape and it must be “taught” and shamed out of them. ..

If you don’t want your son to rape, then don’t rape HIM.

Don’t allow ANYONE, woman, man, boy, girl, teacher, family member or babysitter to rape or sexually assault HIM.

If you don’t want your son to rape, don’t shame his penis, his scrotum, his body, ..

If you don’t want your son to rape, then treat him with love, compassion and respect. ..

If you don’t want your son to rape, let him know that his body is beautiful and marvel at his growth and development. ..

If you don’t want your son to rape, then you must not rape his psyche with your own history, your hurt, your baggage, your biases, your beliefs, your traditions and your ignorance.

If you don’t want your son to rape, you must not rape his mind with the disinformation, political agendas, traditions, stereotypes and anti-male bias .. The FBI didn’t even allow males to be included in their definition of rape victims until 2012!

If you don’t want your son to rape, you must inform him that our society has covered up the research on female perpetrators for political purposes.

Want to Teach Your Son Not to Rape? Protect HIM from Rape and Sexual Violence!

From the FAQ

kungfukai · 2014-08-28T00:42:39+00:00

Generalization is bad, m'kay.

Unless you have rock-solid evidence against a whole group of people, the basis of your accusation is bullshit.

I remember a political comic after 9/11 happened and along with it came with the whole "ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS" hysteria.

It was a two panel comic that basically said: "Not all muslims are terrorists, and not all terrorists are muslim."

Same can be applied with the "ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS" hysteria, not all men are rapists (obviously), and not all rapists are men (something society refuses to believe).

Fear is a powerful tool of mass manipulation.

TRPACC · 2014-08-27T19:18:45+00:00

The best thing to do with teach men not to rape is find out what its about, and then organize the thoughts.

As for all the silly analogies with lock and that sort of thing - rape prevention advice is nothing to do with us. And the analogies don't really work in the first place because people are taught not to steal in kindergarten.

If you want a retort to a literal interpretation of teach men not to rape - just point to Jessica Valentis blog where is says male rapists a 6% of men and they are sociopaths. Also point to stats in female rapists.

Black_caped_man · 2014-08-27T19:44:40+00:00

It's funny because as a young man I was told specifically not to rape, even after the clear obvious fact was stated that rape is one of those things that is wrong. In telling me specifically not to rape I had to draw the conclusion that there was some inherent part of me that would always strive towards rape, that I had to consciously suppress it every waking moment. I spent a huge part of my childhood being afraid of that part of me, that part that was exclusively connected to me being male of course, so I hated the fact that I was male, I hated my penis, I hated everything about it. I thought that every thought I had, every feeling I had regarding sex and sexuality was inherently tainted by the fact that I was a male and my natural state would be to want to rape. I was afraid, and ashamed of my own sexuality because I had to be taught not to rape, I had to consciously remind myself lest I actually rape someone.

Now I'm only one case and granted I had some other shit happen when I was a kid that has worsened that situation but still... this is why you don't teach a specific group to not do something that is already established to be wrong, in fact one of the wrongest wrongs you can do.

It also works as a sort of reverse psychology, don't fall off that ledge, don't drop that glass, don't look there, don't push the button, etc. It puts the idea of actually doing something in our minds which in turn increases the risk of something like that happening.

And in the end it's just about as effective as teaching thieves not to steal, murderers not to kill, drug dealers not to sell drugs, etc... it's just not gonna work now is it.

ExpendableOne · 2014-08-27T20:45:24+00:00

Men already know not to rape. 99.9999% of men don't rape(ever), and would probably put themselves at risk to stop/prevent a woman from being raped. If a man is exposed as a rapist, or even suspected of being a rapist, he will be destroyed in every sense of the word possible(and a woman's word is to be accepted without the slightest scrutiny).

We live in a society has already managed to convince us that male-to-female rape is a crime worse than male murder/dismemberment. To even question this will often even send people into an outrage(despite the fact that it also happens more often than rape too). We actually tell men not to rape too much, and telling women not to rape too little, and it's creating all kinds of issues.

You literally have men crossing the street to cater to women's insecurities and avoid being viewed as a potential rapist. You have men censoring, inhibiting and belittling themselves, just to cater to the irrational fears of a few women(who, generally speaking, don't even appreciate it in the slightest). You have men who end up with crippling self-esteem/guilt issues because they grew up(from a pretty early age) viewing their own gender/sexuality in such a negative way because it has been so severely vilified.

You have men who end up with some pretty severe social problems, or romantic disadvantages, because they so adamantly do not to come off as threatening. Empathetic men who wish to abide by these notions, or these "insecurities/sensitivities" from certain women, are viewed as being meek and passive, and they end up being severely punished for it by the rest of the female population(if not end up entirely deprived of any emotional and sexual fulfilment and/or developing all kinds of other personal/mental issues).

The "teach men not to rape" does not fix anything. You cannot eliminate rape by telling men not to rape. It's delusional to think rape, or any crime, can be eliminated outright. All this is doing is creating other issues for men(which wouldn't be so bad if the majority of women actually appreciated/embraced meek, sensitive and/or passive men, or if women were more empathetic to the type of pressure those men might have grown up with, but they really aren't). Men really can't do any more than they are already doing. They are already doing more than should ever be expected of them(often at their own personal cost) and doing it despite the fact that there are still plenty of women who feel that they shouldn't have to put in any effort whatsoever in their own personal safety(which men do). You literally have men creating drug-detecting nail-polish(which is pretty amazing), with the sole benefit of women in mind, only to find angry feminists attacking/boycotting it.

If feminists want to talk about rape culture, they need to look at the culture that makes fun and trivializes(if not entirely fails to recognize) female-to-male rape. Where women who rape men can actually do it thinking it was funny, or thinking they did their victims a favour. Where female-to-male sexual assault(girls kicking men in the balls/dick), which is also incredibly emotionally/psychologically devastating, can be routinely featured in movies/shows and still be considered kid friendly. Where men are often expected by women to push/disregard personal boundaries, and rewarded for doing so(while men who do not often get left in the dust and end up being belittled for it). Where women are free to make any kind of false accusations they want, often with complete impunity. These are the things that we, as a society, could actually work on.

leftajar · 2014-08-28T06:11:17+00:00

It's absolute, utter, ineffective bullshit, based on fantasy.

This is the fantasy: "Rape is a result of the inherently violent nature of male sexuality. Furthermore, it is a tool used by the patriarchy to oppress women and put them in a state of constant fear."

Here's the reality: Statistics have shown that most rapes come from a very small subset of guys who are serial rapists. We're talking 3-5% of guys who enjoy rape and seek to do it.

Do we expect these assholes to be affected by a public service announcement?

All these stupid campaigns do is to cause good men to needlessly question their own motives. If someone accuses you of doing something when you didn't, that's called gaslighting. It's pretty goddamned manipulative, just like feminism.

govt_took_my_baby · 2014-08-28T09:15:12+00:00

Copypasta from another thread:

Do you know how rare rape is? Let alone date/drug rape? In the UK it's less than 12000 in a year, for a population approaching 70 million.

Let's say less than half the population in the UK are male: say 30 million....

Let's say each of those rapes were committed by a different man....

That's less than 12000 rapists... 0.0004% of men in the UK. And that's rounding the male population down and rounding rapes up

So, yeah, let's have a targeted campaign to teach men not to rape... despite most of us (enough to round up to "all") getting by without raping anyone at all, ever.

I tell you what, I don't know how effective it'll be considering men are supposedly predisposed and conditioned to rape but somehow just aren't getting those numbers up

kevsgrove · 2014-08-27T19:43:31+00:00

I think the people who say this believe it is different from your examples, because they believe "rape culture" exists and is largely perpetuated by men, whereas "theft culture" is not so much a thing.

Off topic, the term is "moot point".

Punch_in_the_nuggets · 2014-08-27T18:35:26+00:00

It'd be easier - or at least more effective - to just teach women to consent. If women consented 100% of the time, male-on-female rape could be a thing of the past. #UtopianDreams

Title	Thoughts on "Teach Men not to Rape"
Author	mrekon123
Upvotes	12
Comments	36
Date	August 27, 2014 3:38 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2eqeiw/thoughts_on_teach_men_not_to_rape/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/thoughts-on-teach-men-not-to-rape.996449 https://theredarchive.com/post/996449

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