A basic question?

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-04-30T20:00:45+00:00

No advice threads

siberiansummer · 2020-04-30T17:51:54+00:00

Like someone else said - it can go both ways. Butttt... if a man DOESN'T spend any money on you he is most likely not serious (probably a red-piller of some sort). Generally, use your intuition, money is definitely not a sole indicator of his seriousness. Right now I have a guy pursuing me and he spent hundreds on flowers/gifts so far just to impress me in just like three weeks or so. He's only seen me in person once and we didn't even talk. When a man is interested he will go to great extents for you. If you are not sure he is that interested = he is not interested. Trust your gut

petrichordium · 2020-04-30T17:32:57+00:00

Yes i do that all the time bc i date cute younger women with less social capital and experience than i have. It is also not a major expense i really notice, so it seems easy enough if it helps my life.

Some men who are far more marriage minded than i am would NEVER do this as it sets a bad precedent. I don’t care about a precedent bc I will only be dating these girls for a bit.

So unfortunately this is one of those things that goes both ways. Some guys who spend on you are silly simps, and others are playboys trying to control you. Some men who WONT spend are just playboys who don’t WANNA spend on their women, and OTHERS are ideal men of integrity trying not to get fleeced in the struggle to meet a nice girl to have a family with.

Guess money doesn’t buy OR measure love. For sex it’s good tho!

ihavezeropersonality · 2020-04-30T18:19:25+00:00

Depends on the guy. Honestly I think the amount of money someone spends on you is a horrible way to tell if someone likes you. Money is meaningless. If I was a piece of shit, I could easily just give tons of gifts to a girl to get them to have sex with me. Apparently that’s like the easiest thing ever and girls seems to be falling for it.

That being said I’d ofc buy small gifts for someone I liked. But they are small gifts, not some fucking 200 dollar meal and tons of shit every other day. Lovebombing with gifts is usually creepy imo.

2020-04-30T17:55:40+00:00

The better question is, why can't you just accept it for what it is? A guy who was interested in you, dated for a while, and decided that you weren't as compatible as he initially thought. In terms of money spent, that's just normal in any form of dating. LTR, casual sex, even fuck buddies buy dinner for their partners sometimes.

Take it as a learning experience. Make adjustments to how you'll react to these things next time, and move on. If your trying to figure out if he was just using you or not, then you're looking at it the wrong way. Focus on your end of the relationship. What did you do right? What did you do wrong? Whether getting sex and using you was his plan all along or not, look at what you gained. Invaluable experience is the answer. And that will only help you in the future. Keep your head up!

MuleFool42 · 2020-04-30T17:29:21+00:00

And the gold digging hamster is born!

Ask yourself this: is a man who consistently spends money on hookers just looking for sex, or to build a future?

And, as a corollary, how many men do you think envision a future with a woman who does not want to have sex with them without money considerations entering the mix?

The more willing a man is to pay for a woman, the more desperate he is. Always keep that in mind. You know what they say: a woman who marries for money ends up earning every penny.

One more thing: if you're going to use cash as your measuring stick for male investment, try and think about what your actual price would be, if you were being pragmatic. Now that you've done that, think about what exactly the difference is between you and the hookers I mentioned above.

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CronkleDonker · 2020-04-30T17:28:57+00:00

Sounds like over-compensation to me.

dontsaythatplease · 2020-04-30T17:42:52+00:00

People pay for hookers, why not hookups

dontsaythatplease · 2020-04-30T18:02:15+00:00

Thank you for this response. It is the truth and You are right. I am trying to look at it from a perspective of if I was played or not — instead of just accepting what has happened. He was a good guy and treated me well despite my flaws.

Thank you again and take care!

teibe · 2020-04-30T18:06:00+00:00

The best way you can judge the character of a man is by his past relationships. If he has had casual sex in the past, that's a huge red flag. Men try to keep this lifestyle up as long as possible until they are ready to settle down (with someone hotter than you). If his past relationships lasted less than two years, that's also a huge red flag. If he gets in a relationship and stays in one, then you know he is willing to commit.

The second best way is to see how pushy he is with sex. Guys who just want to have sex generally don't want to waste a lot of time pursuing one girl. If she isn't putting out then they will move on to easier women. They will try to make things sexual right away.

Money isn't a good indicator imo. Effort and time is better. Money is too easy. If he has it, he will have no qualms about spending it to get sex.

CuriousIncel2 · 2020-04-30T18:07:49+00:00

I'm going to be honest. Yes, I'll spend a lot of money if I'm getting sex consistently. Hotter the girl, more money I'm willing to spend. Money's not a big deal. The difference is I don't string them along if I realize they want a relationship. So my advice to you is to have a strong vetting process. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in today's dating market except remaining single.

I can't believe I'm saying this but you should check out FemaleDatingStrategy's sidebar. The posts themselves are just man-hate but the theory has some solid advice. The thing is, you'll have to make some major compromises in terms of his attractiveness, and won't get laid as often. Chances are you will remain single, because I find those requirements impossible, but if you do find a ... HVM (pukes) ... you'll avoid ending up like those bitter old hags.

SeasonedRP · 2020-04-30T18:41:35+00:00

-If a guy was only looking to have sex with you and not build a future, would he
consistently spend money on you?

Probably not, unless maybe he's quite well off and was just looking for someone to do things with temporarily.

StopTheIncels · 2020-04-30T19:02:51+00:00

That's called prostitution.

SeemedGood · 2020-04-30T19:30:03+00:00

But my question is...would a guy who only wanted sex be ok with always spending money on someone he didn’t see a future with? Is this a common thing in dating now? or is this a sign a man sees value in you?

Probably not. But more importantly it is a sign of a man that thinks he can buy your affection, which implies that he doesn’t think he is worthy of it because of his being.

Is your affection for sale?

2020-04-30T19:45:37+00:00

If a guy was only looking to have sex with you and not build a future, would he consistently spend money on you?

Some guys do.

would a guy who only wanted sex be ok with always spending money on someone he didn’t see a future with?

Some guys would.

Is this a common thing in dating now?

Common? No. Not at all.

SplushkaMcOwlFace · 2020-04-30T19:48:11+00:00

Usually, if guy interested in you he won't only spend money but also give you attention in other ways, be there for you if you need help, genuinely interested how are you doing, for example, make sure if you are warm if you are walking and its cold weather and small things like that. Only spending money is an insufficient sign as he might have loads of money and try to get sex this way.

Title	A basic question?
Author	dontsaythatplease
Upvotes	2
Comments	61
Date	April 30, 2020 5:15 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gazv7p/a_basic_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-basic-question.658284 https://theredarchive.com/post/658284

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