Yes, if you are living in an excessively priced west/ east coast metro area, you are likely going to struggle being above average as a man. You have to compare someone to the entirety of the United States population and not just their immediate social circle or cohort in an affluent area.

The average American, taking into account every man from different regions of the country, is not a college educated, fit, career go-getter in (Input your HCOL metro area here). They are from a flyover state working a service or blue-collar job, or low skilled office job. Minimal college education. No grand aspirations and no interests which differentiate them as refined or cultured, like traveling or culinary skills.

Considering the data that has been provided on the average American's life, it really is not that difficult to be above average:

Only 39% of Americans have obtained a college degree. (I have seen this as high as 42% from some researchers but no higher) and only 13% of Americans have graduate degrees

73% of Americans, accumulated data from all states, are overweight or obese.

51% of Americans have $5000 or less saved

The average salary for Americans is $53,000, and that could very well be mid-career.

The average debt load for Americans is also around the same number $53k, including student loans, car payments, mortgages, and credit cards.

Yes, I know you are competing with other above average people in your area, when you persist those women have very high standards, but you have to make the distinction. So many users here do not disclose that they are in a social circle with other high value individuals, which forces competition to be much more intense.

I tried to use reputable sources for this data but feel free to argue that if you are in your 20s or 30s as a man with a college education, making 70k plus, thin or lean, financially intelligent, in most locations outside of densely populated metro centers like LA and NYC, you are above average.

References:

  1. • Americans with a college degree 1940-2018, by gender | Statista

  2. What's the Average Salary in the U.S.? (Demographic Data) | Indeed.com

  3. The Average American Debt by Type, Age, and State (businessinsider.com)

  4. Adult Obesity Facts | Overweight & Obesity | CDC

  5. The Fed - Economic Well-Being of U.S. Households in 2020 - May 2021 - Dealing with Unexpected Expenses (federalreserve.gov)