Dread Game?

IIHotelYorba · 2014-05-26T17:57:26+00:00

DG is a fancy pants term for ANY fear of loss a girl has. It becomes more potent with the more sexual options you have. Some guys may actively try to instill that feeling, doing the stuff you mention. This is roughly how Heartiste (the guy we think came up with it) defines himself, like some super-villain who is the best in the world at pulling girls' pigtails- relishing in the meanness.

I would not because 1, girls will catch you doing that and see how reactive and tryhard you are (and lose attraction) and 2, psychologically it will reinforce the idea that you NEED to do that (and you will lose attraction. And self respect.)

Any girl I date ever will be sufficiently "dreadgamed" due to the simple fact that I have a social life and boundaries. I don't actively remind them of any of this, a person who genuinely has boundaries and selection will simply come off MUCH differently, the same way a guy with a comfortable job doesn't behave like a guy who's worried about money.

So yeah man, I self-respect game THE SHIT OUT OF those girls bro.

hyperrreal · 2014-05-26T18:16:01+00:00

To me, dread game is like finding yourself in court, whatever the outcome, you've already lost.

My understanding of it is that its not manipulation to get something, its a kind of game you run when the balance of power in your relationship is waaaaaay in favor of your partner. You've got to restore the balance. But if you find yourself in this situation, there is much more wrong than dread game can fix.

I agree that for a relationship to work, both partners need to see each other as sexually attractive to other people. But this shouldn't have to be manipulative. Does Gerard Butler need dread game? No. It would be better to just get yourself to the point where your value is so obvious manipulation is not needed.

cuittler · 2014-05-27T00:32:25+00:00

Dread Game is largely misunderstood - the idea behind it is basically that you organically, constantly show your SO that you could leave, that you have other options. It isn't a big secret that people are more attracted to people who have other options.

The idea isn't to instill fear as much as it is to signify your own value, so that the idea of you leaving is one that would be scary to them. It's no different than casually flirting with someone other than your partner (which both sexes do to) to instill a bit of jealousy, and any relationship expert will tell you that some amount of jealousy is important in a relationship.

GaiusScaevolus · 2014-05-27T03:45:44+00:00

Properly applied, dread game is a fancy term for ensuring your SO knows that you know you're high value, and that others know as well. The only way it should cause your partner distress is if they feel they aren't of comparable SMV, or feel they've been being poor partners themselves.

BPers are confused about dread game. Dread game isn't "Yo bitch, u ain't hot enuf 4 me." or f*cking some other chick in front of her, that's just being douchey. Dread game is smiling back at the pretty waitress, or going out with the guys when she throws a tantrum. In a nutshell, dread game is about options, you have 'em and she should know it.

imissedaword · 2014-05-26T22:15:12+00:00

I once explained dread game to a female friend one time. She was a long past FWB. She thought it was stupid and said it made no sense.

Well, we work together and sometimes when she stops at my desk another girl stops by and flirts and starts getting bitchy. One day, the other girl was flirting particularly aggressive and was throwing some zingers at my friend. Later on in the day, my friend invites me over to hang out. One thing led to another and she was demanding we have sex. At one point she said, "that girl is all over you and it makes me want you. That's how women are." We didn't because I was a little confused and put off but that's what dread game is. It's not abuse, its just noticing and turning on a quirk in human behavior.

rulenumber303 · 2014-05-26T22:16:09+00:00

If me SO tries to dreadgame me? Well I've been through real dread from real infidelity from a different man. Had that button pushed about as hard and as often as possible. I know it is a douchy thing for a man to do and totally not my fault.

If he wants to threaten that shit, I'll be pulling an exit strategy together. This means upping the amount of effort I put into making myself attractive to other people in general and making myself happy with my general appearance. Doing more stuff without him, starting a social scene or two in which he is not involved so if he leaves or I must leave him I have friends who are fresh as well as those who are salvaged from the mess. Spending more time cultivating my relationship with my kids, so it can weather the upcoming storm. Saving some money aside of the household budget. More time into career. Sex to become less tender and more bucket-list style. Nice big pack of condoms bought and heavy hints about what a good idea condoms and regular checkups are.

Either I'll see him back in my orbit minus dread or he can spin off into the ether. This is not something I control, and engaging the idea will send me mad. I would rather be a cat lady and have chess night be the high light of my week than stay emotionally engaged with this bullshit. Disengage, disengage, disengage.

[deleted] · 2014-05-26T19:03:01+00:00

Some will say it is flirting with others in front of your SO, some say it is becoming cold and distant, some say it is upfront telling your SO you have other options

All of the above is correct especially the part I highlighted.

Just letting your SO know that you're still high valued because Disclaimer: my experience and observation, the more time people spend together in a relationship the more comfortable and complacent they become and they just don't try hard enough and that is where dread helps.

Now you might want to say "why not have open and honest communication?"

Well again, Disclaimer: still my opinion, I strive to become alpha and an alpha to me is someone who doesn't have to communicate his boundaries to people but people would still realize he doesn't put up with rubbish and people getting too complacent through his mannerisms.

In short, to me, if you have to start sitting down and having these kind of talks, you are cross from α to β.

Again this is all me, your experience does not invalidate mine and vice versa.

VarsitySlutTeamCpt · 2014-05-26T19:37:46+00:00

This is an example where the Dread Game worked perfectly, the husband became attractive to his wife again and the wife remembered how much she wants to appreciate her husband.

VarsitySlutTeamCpt · 2014-05-26T23:45:20+00:00

Why the fuck would you post this shit here? Like whats the point? OP obviously has an undisputed negative view on the dreadgame and every RP response to show and explaining what it is are downvoted. I think you just posted this shit here so that you can get support on something you already believe in. Take this to blue pill where it can get upvoted to the heavens and that they can assure you your values. This sub is a debate and just because you disagree with someone doesnt mean that you have to downvoted them.

cuittler · 2014-05-26T17:21:19+00:00

I'm going to go on a limb and say that dread game is one of the most misunderstood RP concepts for BP'ers. I've heard BP'ers say it's everything from cheating to being openly misogynistic, which is all highly wrong.

Dread game is basically communicating to a woman through your actions that you have options and that if you are not getting your needs met from her, you are not afraid to walk and get your needs met elsewhere.

Think of it this way: it's like when you go on to the lot to buy a new car. If the salesman is trying to give you a raw deal, if you really like the car you might get tempted to buy it anyhow. Wise people, however, are never afraid to walk off the lot and go to a different dealership no matter what trick the salesman tries to pull.

That's kinda what dread game is.

GridReXX · 2014-05-27T14:18:18+00:00

DG the way TRP utilizes it seems unnatural. Or in other words, forced. If you both are already charming and attractive, dread game kind of just happens because it's obvious other people desire you.

I am in a loving relationship with my boyfriend.

However we're both decently good looking and like to dress well. When we go out. I get hit on quite often. He gets hit on quite often.

And admittedly for us both, knowing that we're both desired by others but choose one another keeps the relationship spicy.

I have no issue seeing other women and gay men trying to catch his attention.

But for us it's all in good fun. We don't do things to hurt each other.

And TRP seems like it does things to weaken the other person's morale, which isn't healthy for a relationship.

alush · 2014-05-26T16:47:01+00:00

Some will say it is flirting with others in front of your SO, some say it is becoming cold and distant, some say it is upfront telling your SO you have other options... Can anyone give a more definitive explanation?

Dread game is any of the above behaviors when necessary to indicate to your SO that you have options. Dread game can be necessary when trying to correct a woman's behavior or to make her step her game up in the relationship. Dread game is just another way for a man to display value to his female partner.

Title	Dread Game?
Author	cuittler
Upvotes	14
Comments	128
Date	May 26, 2014 4:38 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/26j4p7/dread_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dread-game.285681 https://theredarchive.com/post/285681

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