How did you overcome commitment-phobia from reading TRP?

DarkLord0chinChin · 2016-10-16T21:04:00+00:00

Good question. I know that MarriedRedPill and RedPillWives are a thing.

You have one life. Marry if you want, do not marry if you do not want. Don't take Internet edgelords too seriously. Think with your own head.

daveofmars · 2016-10-16T21:21:35+00:00

I don't know if this helps, but I consider myself RP and I just got married a few weeks ago to a girl I had been with for over 8 years previously. It wasn't a decision I came to lightly, or quickly, and it took a lot of time for me to think about it.

I don't necessarily believe that marriage The Institution is a con, but that the person you're going to marry certainly can be. It is up to you to verify that your partner is worthy of marrying you. Note: I didn't say that you were worthy of marrying them, if they were a good match, or if you two made a good couple. They have to be worthy of marrying you. It's your own standards and self-esteem that determine this. TRP can do a lot to maintain your relationship if you use a light hand with RP principals. You don't need to game your wife or girlfriend like she's a random chick at a nightclub. A little goes a long way.

At the same time, never assume that marriage is a sure thing. It's a risk, though a calculated risk. Calculated risks do come with rewards.

Personally, I'm happy and confident with the decision I've made, though time will tell how it ultimately turns out. I know the risks I'm taking and I've done my homework to mitigate those risks.

And as far as getting divorce raped, this is what I've done: my wife and I created a corporation in which we are both the executive officers. In our bylaws, we state that any property coming into the corporation, any property going out of the corporation, any withdrawals from the corporate accounts, and any additions or alterations to the bylaws must be passed unanimously by the executive board, i.e.: both of us.

Then, we move all our property - house, cars, and mutual savings - under the ownership of the Corporation, which is its own legal entity. This has benefits for us tax-wise, and also prevents us from losing our stuff if we get sued or something. It ensures that, if one of us dies, our assets don't have to go through probate or will get taxed in any way, since there is no transfer of property - it's still owned by the same entity.

In the event of divorce, we have to both agree to remove property from the corporation. One person cannot sell it or take it out from under the other, otherwise they could be sued. If there is any problem with dividing these assets then arbitration is under the purview of our own bylaws and corporate law, not divorce law, since the legal entity who owns our property is its own individual.

This, I believe, is much stronger legally than a prenup, as any judge could alter the prenup if children are involved.

Edits: thought of more things to add and some grammar correction.

the_calibre_cat · 2016-10-16T22:53:39+00:00

I didn't. The "men offer commitment, women offer sex" is far and away the single most useful piece of advice RP has to offer. That doesn't mean never commit. It means "don't sell your soul to the devil," or, more subject-relevant, "don't throw your commitment at the first woman to makes your dick wet."

Start recognizing your worth, men.

alreadyredschool · 2016-10-16T21:46:32+00:00

Take what you need discard the rest.

Also, I'm not I want to the TRP guy in his 30s and 40s who''s wandering and picking off desperate vulnerable women for sex. I'm 27 and ready lonely and unfulfilled by casual sex. But I have a lot of doubt about marriage also. It seems like a lose-lose. I feel pessimistic.

You seem like you want marriage/cohabitation so do that, no need to spin plates if you don't like that.

Edit: there are many relationships without a hen pecked man, it's possible and most of these horror stores share the same avoidable mistakes. First vet for a good women. Then make sure that she is stable for a relationship and that it's actually possible to communica with her without her getting passive aggressive, feeling blamed etc, you should recognise abusive/shitty behavior. Then never stop seducing her, dint get complacent and voice your concerns if she stops falling in line.

GuitarsAreGettingOld · 2016-10-16T22:05:40+00:00

How confident are you in yourself when it comes to attractiveness and skills with women?

Have you come a long way since then? (You said you were inexperienced). Are you attractive and alpha in the way trp endorses it?

sardonis70 · 2016-10-17T01:01:32+00:00

By not being a pussy.

If TRP incites phobia in you, then you haven't finished the self improvement part. Wait until you aren't the type of guy who gets nagged or has sex withheld from you and then don't marry a girl with too many red flags.

It's not rocket science.

Also..

Also, I'm not I want to the TRP guy in his 30s and 40s who''s wandering and picking off desperate vulnerable women for sex.

Has any married ex-TRPer experienced this dilemma and gained clarity that allowed them to overcome their commitment-phobia?

Why do you refuse to believe that TRP guys can have a successful long term relationship? What makes you think that we are all predatory wanderers? Why do you insist that you have to be an ex-TRP subscriber to not have commitment phobia?

Maybe you should have changed the flair to Q4BP if that's how you think.

poppyblu · 2016-10-16T22:42:50+00:00

IMO Marriages can be great but most people don't want to do the work needed to make them so. It comes down to marrying someone because they've demonstrated their character over time - honesty, integrity, willingness to deal with difficult situations rather than running away, similar values, etc - and then commiting to do what's necessary to make it work. Looking for the HB9 with a low N count and the huge rack who likes to cook, etc is shallow shit that isn't going to get you through the long haul.

I know I'll get slammed by men telling me a low n count is a reflection of character, which I disagree with but that comes under the category of similar values. If that's important to you, don't sacrifice on it.

Most of what TRPs say about marriage is either totally misinformed (considering how many are dateless virgins or men reeling from failed marriages, id take what they say with a grain of salt) or taking the worst stories they've ever heard and making it the rule of thumb.

pinkdrawings · 2016-10-17T00:52:35+00:00

Hey! https://thefamilyalpha.com/ has a lot of good posts on marriage. Hopefully that can help.

Entropy-7 · 2016-10-17T08:16:54+00:00

Just build YOU. If they talk abut bullshit and great legs or great arms then just "next" while you build quality.

truthuncensored · 2016-10-17T22:00:12+00:00

Not marrying. If she doesn't want to be with me because of that and she bounces, then all the better. This screens out the women who are hell-bent on marriage.

Even better is the fact that the women who remain de facto demonstrate thier commitment to me, and me alone (and not my money).

I am a kind and loving God, but I demand sacrifice. I kid, I kid... I'm obviously no god, but I absolutely demand sacrifice. I want to see how much a chick is down for me.

My woman explicitly earns her place on a continual basis. She explicitly knows she will be replaced if she no longer serves her purpose in my life. And vice versa.. I live up to her wants and needs or she ditches me.

The absolute last thing you want is to be in a position where a chick demands you marry her or she leaves. The subtext is she believes you can't do better. Any woman that thinks she can do better is encouraged to do so. I won't support her whilst she looks for my replacement, however, so cheating, branch swinging, etc is not tolerated. Besides, if it gets to that point, there will be an corresponding shift in her attitude towards me and she'll likely have already gotten the boot.

Yes, there are points given for loyalty.. and any woman that bears my kids has a special place in my heart.. but I refuse to stick my neck on the chopping block (marry) for the benefit of a woman.

DogfishSushi · 2016-10-17T02:29:15+00:00

"If I tell girls that I don't think I want to get married, I lose them."

There's your problem right there. Stop doing that.

Women are duplicitous, manipulative liars. They're not going to tell you what their intentions are, so why are you obligated to tell them what yours are?

[deleted] · 2016-10-16T21:36:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

can_u_not_like_omg · 2016-10-17T00:26:51+00:00

despite what trp says, most women are not estrogen-filled pieces of shit.

also you dont need to be married to have a fulfilling ltr.

ppdthrowawai · 2016-10-17T01:08:13+00:00

There are plenty of ways to protect yourself. There are plenty of criteria for a less risky partner to choose from. You can set yourself up to maximize your happiness and take proper precautionary steps so that even if betrayed, it will have a minimal impact on you overall.

Transmigratory · 2016-10-17T02:40:13+00:00

IIRC RP says that commitment isn't unconditional... which can put people off.

Transmigratory · 2016-10-17T03:18:33+00:00

I'm still sceptical with LTRs tbh.

apostate1881 · 2016-10-19T16:32:41+00:00

I don't really see the point of marriage but it's not a trap or anything like that.

Marriages fail because people get comfortable and stop working at it. If you have a partner who is willing put the work in then you'll be fine. But it's a two way street.

When I look at TRP, I get the sense these guys don't feel they should have to work at a relationship. They talk of women like they're subhuman and don't acknowledge their needs.

I ask you to consider this - would you stay with someone who treated you that way? That's why marriages fail. People don't have respect for their partners.

At least, that's what it seems like.

Title	How did you overcome commitment-phobia from reading TRP?
Author	snull88
Upvotes	3
Comments	36
Date	October 16, 2016 8:58 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/57tkm9/how_did_you_overcome_commitmentphobia_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-did-you-overcome-commitment-phobia-from.272352 https://theredarchive.com/post/272352

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