How do we as a community help "sexually/romantically unsuccessful good guys"?

buartha · 2018-10-05T22:05:41+00:00

My friend didn't lose his virginity until his mid twenties, and prior to that we helped him talk to girls on OkCupid and stuff until he felt confident enough to transfer it offline and he's grand now. He was the kind of guy that the phrase 'be yourself' was made for though; totally normal looking guy with a fun personality who just lost the ability to express that around women, so all he needed to do was be the man we knew he was around them.

The issues that a lot of incels have is that they aim to act on that kind of advice when they have other fundamental issues that they need to address first. Dealing with those things needs a more individualised, tailored plan, and I wouldn't feel confident giving blanket advice because it depends on that person's weaknesses.

PennnyLame · 2018-10-05T22:12:14+00:00

You cannot teach anything to someone who doesn’t want to learn or thinks they are the smartest one in the room. My advice is to sip the Chardonnay!

beachredwhine · 2018-10-05T22:21:04+00:00

I think SRU is a chat bot a bored incel created.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2018-10-05T22:08:10+00:00

I have had these exchanges with SRU in the past. Momentary break through doesn't work. I just kept demonstrating to how how he was posting in bad faith and how he was behaving like a troll, being stubborn, not listening, not being open etc. He didn't believe me. I spent hours of my life on the dude. He seemed to get it towards the end. It was appeasement as I can see now , but regardless. There's no getting through. The only tip I have is drink some tea and go for a walk and forget about him

SRU_91 · 2018-10-05T22:01:01+00:00

Check out my advice giver section:

https://www.reddit.com/r/GoodMenGoodValues/wiki/section-e#wiki_4._right.2C_i_have_some_advice_for_you_lot_at_gmgv.2C_get_ready

https://www.reddit.com/r/GoodMenGoodValues/wiki/appendix#wiki_8._acceptable_advice_at_r.2Fgoodmengoodvalues

Following the template under the "personal counselling" section is how to help someone like me.

darudeboysandstorm · 2018-10-05T22:34:20+00:00

As a fellow entp it is actually painful, as for advice for them in the real world? try and be nice to them so they dont feel entirely void of compassion?

apube · 2018-10-05T22:45:46+00:00

Even an ugly mfer can get laid if he:

Works out consistently. Follows a good program.

Fixes posture. Your self-hatred and lack of confidence should not show in your rounded back and shoulders.

Socializes like crazy, with everyone, until he gets it. Talks to people every day. Compliments old people on the bus. Lots of interactions will go weird, but hopefully he'll learn from them and become less and less bothered.

If he really needs help, I'm sure there are plenty of resources for an autistic/extremely socially anxious person to learn more about social cues. There was this guy I knew in middle school through high school who was autistic, and he would have emotional outbursts mid class, could not have a regular conversation, and was the butt of many cruel jokes for years. However, toward the end of high school he totally changed. He became funny and very likeable. He was still weird don't get me wrong, but in a charismatic way. My friends and I adored him, and we had grown up seeing how he has struggled before. He even got a girlfriend, who was pretty cute! I once asked him how he did it, he said he read lots of books on social interaction. Very smart dude, and gave a very witty valedictorian speech. Probably was still made fun of, but he didn't care, and didn't allow other people to rile him up like he had in the past. This was a tangent, but that guy proved to me that holy shit can someone's social skills improve dramatically, and there's hope for most people.

Along with improving social skills, developing social hobbies that connect you to a large group of social connections, preferably co ed, which lead to a sizable friend group. This increases your chances of meeting a woman or finding someone who will introduce you to one and gives you a group to go out to other social events with where you'll meet women.

Go out a lot, have fun, be fun, get drunk and social, do fun drugs on occasion, and take risks.

Oh, and learn some game. Hopefully the other steps have helped you gain the confidence to pull it off.

This is all common knowledge, but it's not easy for your typical incel to implement and it certainly won't be a smooth ride if you've got it bad. If you're quite ugly or awkward there probably isn't going to be a totally hot chick at the end either.

fschmidt · 2018-10-06T02:55:20+00:00

Good guys should date abroad outside of evil modern feminist culture. That's all there is to it.

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The3liGator · 2018-10-05T23:02:10+00:00

Gas me. Or, if that's too much work, give a rope and high place. I'll take care of it.

N0blesse0blige · 2018-10-06T00:52:27+00:00

In his defense technically the burden seems to be on you to show him the earlier advice on PPD that makes his obsolete. I briefly skimmed some of the advice he came up with and can’t really say how profound it is, if at all. Anyway, that’s a shitload of work potentially for you, likely with limited return value.

You fell between two chairs: You should either have ignored his post on account of being pretentious and prideful, or you should show him, not just tell him, why he’s wrong.

Whodunnit88 · 2018-10-06T01:17:56+00:00

You came out the worst in that exchange imo. Gatekeeping a subreddit to someone who wants to explore their ideas, essay length and unoriginal they may be, is something that I hope this sub never becomes.

firstpitchthrow · 2018-10-06T02:41:45+00:00

Society absolutely should be worried about the "sexually/romantically unsuccessful good guy". You should absolutely want to help him, and not just for the sake of your own conscience; the fabric of our civilization continuing rests on the shoulders of the "sexually/romantically unsuccessful good guy". If he's out, there will be massive social problems created by it; that's why shaming of such individuals is so popular. Society understands, deep down inside, that he's a problem, and since it is blatantly immoral to force women to date and/or marry people they object to dating and/or marrying, there are but two solution.

The first solution, "helping" him, is a lot of work, so, yeah, that seems to be out of the question. That leaves but one real solution.

If the "sexually/romantically unsuccessful good guy" can't be helped, and if there are enough of them, they can and will bring down an entire society. This was something that was directly addressed in one of the two very first ever literary works in human history. Sex has a civilizing effect on men, the ancients noticed this very particularly, men who are consistently getting laid have a stake in society's future, they have an interest in preservation. There is a direct result between the number of unmarried men in a given place and the amount of crime in that place. Once the male-female ratio gets higher then 6:5, there will be enough men in the gene pool with no romantic prospects that the fabric of society will start to tear apart.

Title	How do we as a community help "sexually/romantically unsuccessful good guys"?
Author	GridReXX
Upvotes	5
Comments	106
Date	October 5, 2018 9:55 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9lqom2/how_do_we_as_a_community_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-we-as-a-community-help-sexuallyromantically.259882 https://theredarchive.com/post/259882

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