[Q4ALL] How do siblings affect gendered behavior in each other?

DespisedByWomen · 2018-07-19T18:15:33+00:00

I have an older sister by 3 years, we don't get along well, and I'm incel

Texastentialism · 2018-07-19T18:16:47+00:00

As a girl, does having brothers turn you into the "I'm not like the other girls. I just fit in better with guys"?

It did for me.

I have two older brothers who are 7 and 9 years older than me, and growing up I wanted nothing more than for them to like me and think I was cool/not annoying. This had some positive effects (one way I tried to relate to them was through music, so I'd borrow/steal their CDs, and the result of this was that I developed a love for music that was perhaps idiosyncratic with that of my peers but that's been a point of bonding between my brothers and me throughout my life), but many negative effects (I had trouble relating to girls, I despised and tried to squash my own feminine instincts and proclivities, I never developed feminine hobbies and I had a bad case of "cool girl" syndrome in my teen years).

My parents definitely had a double standard when it came to raising and disciplining us. My brothers were allowed to date in high school; I wasn't. My brothers both went away to work out of state in the summer when they were 16; my parents would have locked me in my room for even suggesting such a thing. My brothers could have female friends over; I couldn't have male friends over. Etc. etc. At the time I thought it was unfair, but in retrospect I see their reasoning. At any rate, there was never a doubt in my or my brother's minds that men and women are different and should expect to be treated differently.

IncomeByEtnicity · 2018-07-19T19:16:38+00:00

I'm the oldest of 2 and I have a younger sister. These are the advantages I've had because of her.

Gain the ability to understand emotional fluctuations in girls and how it's best not to take things instantaneously but do more of a cumulative average when it comes to reading female signals.
Get access to a TON insider gossip and stories about the "Bad girls and guys" in your school/community. It's like a clear crisp radar in the Fog of Puberty, when guys without sisters are literally flying blind just to crash and burn.
Understand how to support a woman with her dreams and ambitions. My greatest achievement in life would be putting my sister through MedSchool. Objectively it was $250,000 risk with 0 guarantee of return. But I knew her well enough to know this was the best fit for her personality and her skills. Once my parents die, she is the only person on earth who shares my genes. In her face I see my father and my mother. Her success is the success of my parents. I stepped in and she didn't let me down. She makes more than that in a year now.
Dating advice. Even though she is younger, I respect her input on my partners. When I met my wife, my sister met her first before my parents. And it was important for me that my sister got good vibes about my partner. They get along great now, and my wife is someone she can talk to openly about her dating life.

So YES it does impact how we deal with people of the opposite sex, and enhances your control in dating situations. For my sister and I, it had very positive influence on both of our lives. But regarding your particular question of

I often feel like I'm missing the super strong connection other women seem to have with each other.

Opposite sex sibling effecting same sex comradary.

In my life I had a strong suspicion that this was true. But you have to take it into account the larger context.

Is your family is ridden with chronic loners like mine is. Sometimes it takes a sexual attraction deep down for more introverted people to put the time in for friendships, making same sex friends more difficult
Do you have cousins like you who may not have opposite sex siblings, who too have very few same sex friends? I have an older cousin. He is a silicon valley hot shot. He is one of two boys in his family and we have almost identical personalities. The younger one, is straight opposite, very social, lots of guy friends.

So I don't think this is true anymore.

blackedoutfast · 2018-07-19T18:26:26+00:00

As a guy, does having sisters turn you into a beta male provider TM?

no, in my experience it's just the opposite. guys who grew up with sisters (esp younger sisters) usually do well with women. "treat her like a bratty little sister" is A+ advice.

guys who grew up as an only child, especially if they were the only child of a single mother, are the most likely to become beta male simps.

birth order also matters a lot.

Captnjack222 · 2018-07-19T20:45:59+00:00

I have a younger sister. Between having a strong caring father figure and strong caring brother figure my sister has the least daddy issues I’ve ever seen. This definitely impacted her growing her. She only dates good quality men who treat her very well. But she’s also not very feminine, rarely wears makeup, and does not need much validation from men etc.

Since she’s five years younger than me, she had very little impact on my behavior, if at all. maybe feeling like I need to be a “protector” a little more and therefore being less attracted to “independent womyns” and a preference for very petite girls

sometimespredictable · 2018-07-20T07:05:19+00:00

It surely has an effect. But imo what those relationsihps are like, plus non-family relationships would have a bigger effect. Example:

Guy with three older sisters, and they are all overbearing and manipulate him into a women-pleasing situation and endlessy tell him about their bf problems and say "bro don't be an asshole like my all my exes": will end up beta.

Guy with three older sisters, and they are chill, plus they bring friends so he has found a lot of occasions to interact with girls and is comfortable around girls: will end up alpha.

Etc...

washington_breadstix · 2018-07-20T07:31:56+00:00

As a guy, does having sisters turn you into a beta male provider?

No, I would think it's the opposite, actually. Having sisters can red-pill a guy pretty fast, provided that those sisters are around the same age as him. The guy would be exposed to "unfiltered" female behavior on a regular basis and would never fall into the trap of putting women on a pedestal, which is a mindset that usually results from too little insight into female behavior as opposed to a great deal of insight.

I'm a male who grew up with one younger brother and no other siblings, and I was one of the most hopelessly "blue pilled" guys out there up until ~2 years ago.

Of course it will always depend on the specific relationships one has with his/her siblings of either sex. Just "having sisters" doesn't necessarily mean anything.

exit_sandman · 2018-07-20T08:29:08+00:00

Depends, both on the person in question as well as their siblings.

A friend of mine had a progressive mother and a feminist-leaning sister on top of that, and this fucked seriously with his perception of women.

The sister of another pal had 5 brothers, but this didn't turn her into a tomboy (she was pretty cool, though.).

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KikiYuyu · 2018-07-19T20:48:29+00:00

I don't really think my brother has affected me in that kind of way at all, but maybe it'd be different if our relationship was better.

LivelyChartreuse · 2018-07-19T22:40:54+00:00

I was always closer to my brothers than I was to my sisters, and I still get along better with men than women to this day. The pro is that I get along well with my boyfriend, the con is I get along well with his friends too, so I have to keep an eye out for jealousy.

That being said, the BF has an older step sister and spent a lot of his time with both his moms and her. He's very good at predicting and responding to hormone related mood swings, and almost unerringly knows when it's time to step in and comfort versus when it's time to walk away and let me blow off steam.

StrifePrevails · 2018-07-19T23:38:20+00:00

I think it depends. I'm the oldest of four, with two sisters and a brother. They're basically little clones of me. They're assertive, a bit domineering, gregarious and confident, all typically masculine traits, even the girls.

That being said, most of my life I've known a girl who grew up in an almost all female household (father, mother, two sisters) and she's the most tomboyish "I just understand guys better" type I've ever met.

So I think it's very contextual and there are more factors than what kind of sibling you have

metrosexual80sfan · 2018-07-20T00:12:04+00:00

I think if you're close with them it almost always mirrors what the OP said.

I was an only child and more often than not, my closest bonds were with girls/women (lots of times older women my mom's age), and I wonder if that helped reinforce my kinda feeling like "one of the girls" and not wanting to be cisgender/masc or perceived as it.

Oh there were definitely cool guys I looked up to too (not just celebs, but regular guys I knew irl), but it was never quite the same. Even strictly with the other kids: like I could play sports or video games with the other boys for an hour or whatever, but I'd get bored with it after awhile and want to hang out with the girls again, lol.

shoup88 · 2018-07-20T00:39:10+00:00

My brother is 11 years younger than me, so he didn’t really affect me at all.

I can see how having four older sisters affected him though. He’s proactively helpful, has great manners, and isn’t embarrassed to look after his appearance.

He’s had a couple short lived relationships, but he seems too shy around girls. Like he’s a little scared of them maybe? I don’t know if that’s gendered though, unless I was drunk I was scared of boys at that age too.

kandyapplez · 2018-07-20T00:44:23+00:00

my parents had two boys and two girls and i don't think we really influenced each other in any way. my brothers were absorbed in boyworld and my sister and i were in girlworld. we got along really well growing up but we weren't constantly interacting enough to shape each other that much.

my brothers are superchads so i don't think they would say we made them beta at all lol

ATastefulNude · 2018-07-20T00:47:29+00:00

I am a woman, and I have 3 older brothers and a twin sister. when I was a young kid, I ended up playing with mostly boys just because I was surrounded by my brothers and their friends (have always been very close with all my brothers). Considering that my sister is my exact age, she was more along for the ride with me instead of being an influence. We have both grown up having a good mix of male and female friends, and I don't think having brothers effected my gender expression in a significant way. Like a lot of women, I was a bit of a tomboy when I was a kid, but became more feminine as I aged. I'm not and have never been a "girly girl", but not exactly butch either. I don't think my distaste for applying makeup or shoe shopping has anything to do with having brothers, I think that's just my natural personality.

I am very grateful to have 3 wonderful brothers and an amazing dad as examples of manhood, though. I think that has positively effected me.

DXBrigade · 2018-07-21T13:14:13+00:00

It depends of your relationship with your sibling and the way your parents raised you. i have an older brother and we get along well. We were raised differentely but contrarely to OP, being a girl was a disadvantage for me.

Workaholico · 2018-07-19T18:10:46+00:00

As a guy, does having sisters turn you into a beta male provider TM?

No. They usually not end up as beta a beta. I have a sister and because of her behavior at home I and my lil brother were capable of extracting something closely resembling a red pill.

We discovered how women are entitled. We already experienced the life of a protector (and in my own case, a provider) and knew it would give us nothing with women. And knew our lil sis tastes and her friends. We were shown every day women nature. We didn't need to get out of the home for that. That turned us into something different.

My brother became the stereotipical Chad. Having sex left and right, never settling, never married, many bastards. I preferred the opposite approach. I had my share of being a alpha in my teens and after college I ended up alone. I did not want to deal with people, specially women. And followed my passion to flee this hell of a country.

I think those 2 options are the most normal. As only men who are inexperienced with dealing with women really become BB by choice.

Title	[Q4ALL] How do siblings affect gendered behavior in each other?
Author	whichbladeN
Upvotes	2
Comments	24
Date	July 19, 2018 5:52 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/90840w/q4all_how_do_siblings_affect_gendered_behavior_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-how-do-siblings-affect-gendered-behavior-in.261461 https://theredarchive.com/post/261461

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